Ladies and Gentlemen, the president of URT - Hon Jakaya Kikwete. Few minutes later....... "Is it my eyes or your president appears to have more than five undershirts on?", asked Julie, a special assistant to the state department. She has been asking so many questions today. "I don't know", I politely answered, "our president is a very big man!" I kept on. Two seats away, a southern sudan delegate (looks very confused) cant help it anymore. He has had enough of the whole nine yards darfur demonstrations (ohhh ... remember George Clooney?). "Stop ze madness" He starts yelling, "it is not helping"...."we also needing oil", the rant goes on and on. Mr Masharubu, a Tanzanian government protocol guy is very agitated. "How can they let him do this at the white house?" He keeps on whining. With ten years of experience at the ministry of foreign affairs (MoFA), Kikwete comes up to settle the matter diplomatically. "wait I answer him (ngoja nimjibu)", he starts the show with his signature smile. "People of Tanzania need oil too, we actually need more oil of lamps (mafuta ya taa) right now" He continues......... Earlier that day... It is 9am, your humble correspondent is in - finally with a blue badge. I can't help get over the fact that my camera and sound guys are still in fight with two correspondents from the comoros. We have been trying to get this right for a month now. "Jackson..... get it on .... just do it", one of our handlers (secret service?) keeps on yelling. No one knows what to say but it's been hell on christmas morning. It will continue...... Disclaimer. The Tanzanian onion is not part of The Onion - a US satirical newspaper. The jokes and comments used here are not suitable for confused people or people who take their lives more seriously than they should.