Spleen

[Ndahani]

Ndahani, I am not a language specialist. I just happen to speak French. Nadhani kadri muda unavo kwenda hata mimi nimerealise kua nahitaji kujieleza zaidi. Nikiwa bado msichana nilikua naandika sana na nikisoma tena nilicho kiandika nahisi ile "unrealistic idealism and rebellious spirit" imepotea, I have a more mature approach to things now, na inaweza kua vizuri niandike tena leo. Ila inspiration imezeeka... I need to seat for a very long time to lay rhymes... Ukipata muda soma hapa my very first poem in English: https://www.jamiiforums.com/jukwaa-la-lugha/183298-though-of-melancholy-and-homesickness.html (as you san see, hata mimi sina background)

Roulette, It is as though you have heard the calling voice deep inside you. Mara nyingine tuko busy sana na mambo mengi tunasahau yale ambayo tungewwekeza yangeweza kubadili kabisa mwonekano na mwelekeo wa mambo. Naamini mtu kama ataweza kujituma na kuandika legacy yake haitapotea mara tu yeye atapopotea zake.
So kama unaweza, spare time for it....try to make it big. Mimi ninachofanya for living pushes me away from arts and language so to say...but who knows??

 

[Roulette]

Roulette, It is as though you have heard the calling voice deep inside you. Mara nyingine tuko busy sana na mambo mengi tunasahau yale ambayo tungewwekeza yangeweza kubadili kabisa mwonekano na mwelekeo wa mambo. Naamini mtu kama ataweza kujituma na kuandika legacy yake haitapotea mara tu yeye atapopotea zake.
So kama unaweza, spare time for it....try to make it big. Mimi ninachofanya for living pushes me away from arts and language so to say...but who knows??

Thanks for the advice, nitajaribu. Ila kuna passion ingine nilio nayo, ni yakujifunza lugha. Mbali na kuweza kuielewa lugha hadi kuandika mashairi, I just love to express myself in different languages. Na hilo ndilo linanichukua muda mwingi zaidi (whenever I have spare time, and when I don't I create some)

 

[Mentor]

Should we read that you are not touched by love nowadays?

I would ask the same question! But put it this way ... Are you not touched by Beauty this days?

Haha..very keen of u to notice that! Something has changed which i can not point a finger to...maybe my perception towards love and its related emotions,
Love has been distorted..of its beauty and purity and devotions,
Sometime soon i will be able to answer your question..for now let it have some rest!!!

 

[Ndahani]

Thanks for the advice, nitajaribu. Ila kuna passion ingine nilio nayo, ni yakujifunza lugha. Mbali na kuweza kuielewa lugha hadi kuandika mashairi, I just love to express myself in different languages. Na hilo ndilo linanichukua muda mwingi zaidi (whenever I have spare time, and when I don't I create some)

Roulette, all the best...kutunga kitu kikakubalika sio kitu rahisi sana and the world has never had enough of creative part of human beings.

 

[Roulette]

Duh...sijaambulia chochote hapo...lugha ngumu jamani.....

You are not alone. Hata mimi sina certitude kua nimeelewa alicho taka kusema. Ila ukimsoma vizuri naona:

Kigungo cha kwanza anaeleza vile dunia imekua chungu kwake (all is grey). Anafananisha mawingu na mfuniko wa sanduku ambalo linamfunika.
Katika kifungo cha pili anaeleza vile anajaribu kuyapaisha matumaini yake ila kila anapojaribu anashindwa kupaa na kuishia kujigonga against insurmountable obstacles (anafananisha matumaini yake na popo inayo jigonga kila ikijaribu kupaa).
Kifungo cha tatu kunaeleza vile mambo yake yanaenda from bad to worse. hali ile ya mawingu na jiza inaleta mvua kubwa maishani mwake na kuuzima bisa mwanga ubongoni mwake.
Kifungo cha nne kinaeleza wasiwasi mkubwa. Anahisi kuna kitu kibaya sana kitatokea (anaskia mlio mzito-mbaya wa kengele inayo ashiria tukio baya). Anajazwa na uoga, panick etc.
Kifungo cha mwisho kinaeleza vile anguish inammaliza kabisa kwa kuutawala moyo wake (bila matumaini ya kuondoka any time soon).

Ni poem nzuri sababu inaeleza ni namna gani mtu anakata matumaini. I hope this helps...

 

[Mentor]

Ndahani, I am not a language specialist. I just happen to speak French. Nadhani kadri muda unavo kwenda hata mimi nimerealise kua nahitaji kujieleza zaidi. Nikiwa bado msichana nilikua naandika sana na nikisoma tena nilicho kiandika nahisi ile "unrealistic idealism and rebellious spirit" imepotea, I have a more mature approach to things now, na inaweza kua vizuri niandike tena leo. Ila inspiration imezeeka... I need to seat for a very long time to lay rhymes... Ukipata muda soma hapa my very first poem in English: https://www.jamiiforums.com/jukwaa-la-lugha/183298-though-of-melancholy-and-homesickness.html (as you san see, hata mimi sina background)

Je nais sais pas parle francais...hichi ndicho nilichojifunza in French..how sad of me. Of course I do not mean what i just wrote but it the best (but sadly, lame!) excuse of why i dont speak French despite the people I have lived with. My dad is what you'd call a linguaholic, my ex-girlfriend is Burundian and she so wanted me to learn French..but i never got to learn.

 

[Roulette]

Haha..very keen of u to notice that! Something has changed which i can not point a finger to...maybe my perception towards love and its related emotions,
Love has been distorted..of its beauty and purity and devotions,
Sometime soon i will be able to answer your question..for now let it have some rest!!!

Hapo bold sina budi ila kusubiri utakapo amua kufunguka. But I guess this doesn't end the discussion on love and beauty: unasema love has been distorted. Who has distorted it? and do you think because it has been distorted, this distortion applies to every human being or do we still have the capacity to appreciate it in its pristine state, before the distortion? I mean: can we decide to conceive love as an undistorted concept (kila mtu kwenye level yake)? maybe this is all you need to do to restore your old perception? :thinking:

 

[Roulette]

Je nais sais pas parle francais...hichi ndicho nilichojifunza in French..how sad of me. Of course I do not mean what i just wrote but it the best (but sadly, lame!) excuse of why i dont speak French despite the people I have lived with. My dad is what you'd call a linguaholic, my ex-girlfriend is Burundian and she so wanted me to learn French..but i never got to learn.

No wonder you were not able to make any progress in french. How do you make such a defeatist sentence the sapple of your french fluency? Please change it to J'aime le Francais or J'aimerais apprendre a parler Francais and you will see how things will change. lol
It is a beautiful language, kuna kipindi tulijaribu kushare hapa: https://www.jamiiforums.com/jukwaa-...anroulettes-french-lessons-for-begginers.html

 

[Mentor]

Hapo bold sina budi ila kusubiri utakapo amua kufunguka. But I guess this doesn't end the discussion on love and beauty (initiated by Azimio Jipya): unasema love has been distorted. Who has distorted it? and do you think because it has been distorted, this distortion applies to every human being or do we still have the capacity to appreciate it in its pristine state, before the distortion? I mean: can we decide to conceive love as an undistorted concept (kila mtu kwenye level yake)? maybe this is all you need to do to restore your old perception? :thinking:

I can be a good aesthete (apreciate beauty) but lover...!! am not sure.
To others, its possible to take and appreciate love as it is..as for me..the situations that I have been through have left a big scar in my heart leaving me wondering if love is truly love as I was meant to believe! The world and its systems has corrupted people's minds on the beauty n purity of love and loving each other...this in return has affected me in the way that people (and here I mean ladies) relate to me! They have (and maybe sometimes i contributed to it myself, only because i had no other choice but to comply to the flow) made me devalue love and what its worth..well, am in the healing stage now..doing a bit better..and this is how I will know am completely healed, 'when i am able again to write a poem!'

 

[Stroke]

You are not alone. Hata mimi sina certitude kua nimeelewa alicho taka kusema. Ila ukimsoma vizuri naona:

Kigungo cha kwanza anaeleza vile dunia imekua chungu kwake (all is grey). Anafananisha mawingu na mfuniko wa sanduku ambalo linamfunika.
Katika kifungo cha pili anaeleza vile anajaribu kuyapaisha matumaini yake ila kila anapojaribu anashindwa kupaa na kuishia kujigonga against insurmountable obstacles (anafananisha matumaini yake na popo inayo jigonga kila ikijaribu kupaa).
Kifungo cha tatu kunaeleza vile mambo yake yanaenda from bad to worse. hali ile ya mawingu na jiza inaleta mvua kubwa maishani mwake na kuuzima bisa mwanga ubongoni mwake.
Kifungo cha nne kinaeleza wasiwasi mkubwa. Anahisi kuna kitu kibaya sana kitatokea (anaskia mlio mzito-mbaya wa kengele inayo ashiria tukio baya). Anajazwa na uoga, panick etc.
Kifungo cha mwisho kinaeleza vile anguish inammaliza kabisa kwa kuutawala moyo wake (bila matumaini ya kuondoka any time soon).

Ni poem nzuri sababu inaeleza ni namna gani mtu anakata matumaini. I hope this helps...

Sana tu..shukran

 

[Roulette]

I can be a good aesthete (apreciate beauty) but lover...!! am not sure.
To others, its possible to take and appreciate love as it is..as for me..the situations that I have been through have left a big scar in my heart leaving me wondering if love is truly love as I was meant to believe! The world and its systems has corrupted people's minds on the beauty n purity of love and loving each other...this in return has affected me in the way that people (and here I mean ladies) relate to me! They have (and maybe sometimes i contributed to it myself, only because i had no other choice but to comply to the flow) made me devalue love and what its worth..well, am in the healing stage now..doing a bit better..and this is how I will know am completely healed, 'when i am able again to write a poem!'

Well, If I was you I would try to write about the deception and the delusion about love. I would also try to contrast the idea I had before I went "through a lot" and the way I had to comply with the flow, and also about what "Ideal love" means to me. I am sure that you are heading somewhere in your healing process, aren't you? Well, write about that destination... Some people have written about their love of... love. Not the love they feel for anyone, but the love of the idea that it is possible to love, and love exists somewhere. without relating it to any particular person. I don't think you have to be in love in order to write a poem, or even to write about love. you just need to feel certain emotions, and of course be able to transmit them through words (lugha zenyewe za kujifunza hizi!)

 

[Azimio Jipya]

Again, it is the sound (not the final letters) that count in a poem. In poetry, You can make bite rhyme with night

Technically, love doesn't rhyme with appreciate. As I said, it is not the vowel but the final sound. Love would rhyme with Alcove and Appreciate with retaliate. (just an example).

When we are done with sounds vs letters, there is another thing about rhymes I would want you to know. there are poor rhymes (just one sound) and rich rhymes (two and above). making night rhyme with knight is a poor rhyme (sound "ait" in swahili) but making elections rhyme with sections constitutes a rich rhyme because we have three sounds (ec-sion-z). NOt very poetic thought, labda for social activist posters. lol

I really don't know where I got this idea of end letter constant instead of general rhyme!! Because I can see clearly how the rhyme could be a sensible building stone and much more you can have it ... Reach or poor and it makes a lot of sense!!


A Beautifully flower,
Have a lot to express,
Apart from its attraction power,
Also ignite lots of inner happiness.

 

[Azimio Jipya]

when low skies weightier than a coffin-lid

cast on the moaning soul their weary blight,
and from the whole horizon's murky grid
its grey light drips more dismal than the night;

when earth's a dungeon damp whose chill appals,
in which - a fluttering bat - my Hope, alone
buffets with timid wing the mouldering walls
and beats her head against the dome of stone;

when close as prison-bars, from overhead,
the clouds let fall the curtain of the rains,
and voiceless hordes of spiders come, to spread
their infamous cobwebs through our darkened brains,

explosively the bells begin to ring,
hurling their frightful clangour toward the sky,
as homeless spirits lost and wandering
might raise their indefatigable cry;

and ancient hearses through my soul advance
muffled and slow; my Hope, now pitiful,
weeps her defeat, and conquering Anguish plants
his great black banner on my cowering skull.

- Baudelaire, Les Fleurs du Mal
English translation by Lewis Piaget Shanks, Flowers of Evil

Painting: Anguish by Archan Nair

Roulette, you remember I asked you from the beginning if was this a simple poem to extract the meaning? By putting the picture and see what is coming from the mouth ... you can smell a lot of negative emotions, which definitely needed some emotional intelligence to manage!! Was in great transformation and hope she went through it and become renewed ... :wink2:!!!

But important question, it reads... English translation by Lewis Piaget Shanks, Flowers of Evil ... You should have putted this title in your thread ... and not Spleen???

 

[Azimio Jipya]

Well, If I was you I would try to write about the deception and the delusion about love. I would also try to contrast the idea I had before I went "through a lot" and the way I had to comply with the flow, and also about what "Ideal love" means to me. I am sure that you are heading somewhere in your healing process, aren't you? Well, write about that destination... Some people have written about their love of... love. Not the love they feel for anyone, but the love of the idea that it is possible to love, and love exists somewhere. without relating it to any particular person. I don't think you have to be in love in order to write a poem, or even to write about love. you just need to feel certain emotions, and of course be able to transmit them through words (lugha zenyewe za kujifunza hizi!)

Mentor, usefully prescription! Im sure your following it!!

 

[Roulette]

@Roullete, you remember I asked you from the beginning if was this a simple poem to extract the meaning? By putting the picture and see what is coming from the mouth ... you can smell a lot of negative emotions, which definitely needed some emotional intelligence to manage!! Was in great transformation and hope she went through it and become renewed ... :wink2:!!!

But important question, it reads... English translation by Lewis Piaget Shanks, Flowers of Evil ... You should have putted this title in your thread ... and not Spleen???

The painting is not the original image attached to the poem. I just thought they matched and I put t there. About the name of the poem, it is SPLEEN. The Flowers of Evil is the name of the book from which it was extracted (it contains many other poems, including three other powerful spleens)

 

[Roulette]

I really don't know where I got this idea of end letter constant instead of general rhyme!! Because I can see clearly how the rhyme could be a sensible building stone and much more you can have it ... Reach or poor and it makes a lot of sense!!


A Beautifully flower,
Have a lot to express,
Apart from its attraction power,
Also ignite lots of inner happiness.

Bravo! oa

 

[Azimio Jipya]

The painting is not the original image attached to the poem. I just thought they matched and I put t there. About the name of the poem, it is SPLEEN. The Flowers of Evil is the name of the book from which it was extracted (it contains many other poems, including three other powerful spleens)

More spleen poem,
We will honestly appreciate,
When you post one of them,
Because now its the time to contemplate.

I feel there is something which isn't that ok with the above poem ...You Tell!

I can write a lot and sometimes many unnecessary words,
but if you put the idea in poem It make a good comprehensive summary!!
I wish if i could do it faster and properly!!

 

[Kaizer]

..................

Kamanda na wewe inaonekana hujaelewa kama mimi (ooops kumbe hapa kingereza tu)

 

[Roulette]

More spleen poem,
We will honestly appreciate,
When you post one of them,
Because now its the time to contemplate.

I feel there is something which isn't that ok with the above poem ...You Tell!

I can write a lot and sometimes many unnecessary words,
but if you put the idea in poem It make a good comprehensive summary!!
I wish if i could do it faster and properly!!

I think you have mastered the rhyme lesson, now time to move to the rhythm. You need exactly the same sequence of syllabe... did you visit the swahili poem link I posted on the previous page? that is absolutely critical...:

This is a poem from Mzee Mwanakijiji, please count the number of syllabe in each verse and you will see that it is exactely the same. It rhymes, and it has a strong double meaning:

MBUZI ISOKUNA NAZI?​

Macho puu yanitoka, nimepigwa na butwaa,​

Na taya limedondoka, nimebaki kushangaa,​

Moyo umenishituka, pumzi imenipaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, ni bora kuiachiya!

​

Jikoni mumeiweka, hiyo mbuzi inang'aa,​

Kwenye ghala mwatundika, eti hiyo yawafaa,​

Kukuna kunapofika, mbuzi mnaiandaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, bora mbali kutupiya!

​

Eti mbuzi ya hakika, sifa mnazitangaa,
​

Mwajivuna mwadundika, mbona mwaleta balaa,​

Mbuzi hiyo imechoka, acheni wenu unaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, haifahi kukuniya!

​

Mbuzi zenu zavunjika, ya kwangu miye ayeyaa,​

Tena inaazimika, ikakuna kwa staa,​

Na nazi ikakunika, mapishi yakakufaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, ni mbuzi yao vichaa!

​

Nimechoka kuandika, kalamu yanidondokaa,​

Ukweli huu hakika, hadharani wazagaa,​

Mbuzi iloharibika, kukuna haitafaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, kwanini mwaikalia?
​

 

[Azimio Jipya]

I think you have mastered the rhyme lesson, now time to move to the rhythm. You need exactly the same sequence of syllabe... did you visit the swahili poem link I posted on the previous page? that is absolutely critical...:

This is a poem from Mzee Mwanakijiji, please count the number of syllabe in each verse and you will see that it is exactely the same. It rhymes, and it has a strong double meaning:

MBUZI ISOKUNA NAZI?​

Macho puu yanitoka, nimepigwa na butwaa,​

Na taya limedondoka, nimebaki kushangaa,​

Moyo umenishituka, pumzi imenipaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, ni bora kuiachiya!

​

Jikoni mumeiweka, hiyo mbuzi inang'aa,​

Kwenye ghala mwatundika, eti hiyo yawafaa,​

Kukuna kunapofika, mbuzi mnaiandaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, bora mbali kutupiya!

​

Eti mbuzi ya hakika, sifa mnazitangaa,
​

Mwajivuna mwadundika, mbona mwaleta balaa,​

Mbuzi hiyo imechoka, acheni wenu unaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, haifahi kukuniya!

​

Mbuzi zenu zavunjika, ya kwangu miye ayeyaa,​

Tena inaazimika, ikakuna kwa staa,​

Na nazi ikakunika, mapishi yakakufaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, ni mbuzi yao vichaa!

​

Nimechoka kuandika, kalamu yanidondokaa,​

Ukweli huu hakika, hadharani wazagaa,​

Mbuzi iloharibika, kukuna haitafaa,​

Mbuzi isokuna nazi, kwanini mwaikalia?
​

Didnt see the link...!!