Single Parenthood

KIKUNGU · Mar 21, 2012

BRO LEE said:
Kwa mtizamo wangu nafikiri kwa mwanamke ni vema kuolewa na mwanaume ambaye hana watoto ilimradi bado unauwezo wa kuzaa na mwanaume husika kwa sababu wanaume huwa wanapenda watoto wa wapenzi wao ili kunogesha penzi lao ili mradi 2 kusiwe na usumbufu kutoka kwa baba wa watoto husika.

Kwa mwanaume iwapo inakulazimu kubaki na watoto baada ya kutengana nafikiri ni vema ukampata mwanamke mwenye watoto, wakti analinda maslahi yake(watoto wake) atakuwa anaheshimu maslahi yako(watoto wako) , sharti kusiwe na usumbufu toka kwa mama wa watoto husika.

Asante sana BRO LEE kwa ku share nasi,ila bado kuna challenges zitakuwepo either umeoa/olewa katika mazingira kama hayo.Na umri wa watoto unatakiwa kuzingatiwa sana,let say they are above 15yrs old,je watakukubali uwe mama/baba yao wa kambo,japo hapa inategemea na malezi pia.

ram · Mar 21, 2012

Binafsi ninahako kauzoefu, nilidivorce na wala sikupenda kudivorce but ilifikia hatua wachungaji na hata huyo hakimu hakuwa na option, ndoa ikavunjwa, so sio divorce zote watu wanataka kuachana tu, Mahakama iliamuru nikaondoka na mtoto niko na maisha mengine kabisa na ninafurahia maisha niliyonayo kwa sasa

HorsePower · Mar 21, 2012

Mama Tuli said:
Hapo kwenye red kutokua na tabia nzuri haihusiani na mahitaji ya mwili.....kama wewe ni mchapaji hiyo ni tabia yako chafu na sio kutokana na mahitaji ya mwili. Unataka kuniambia mwenye uwezo wa kukaa mwaka mzima kwani yeye hana hayo mahitaji ya mwili???

You got me wrong, i hv nothing to add at the moment!

Ndahani · Mar 21, 2012

Kongosho said:
Yaani unaoa ili udivorse, uwe single parent afu ili uanze kutafuta mke tena??
Duh, mbona unagawanya kwa njia ndefu sana?

We live in times that everything need close look...hata viapo tunavyoapa navyo vimekuwa mtihani! We dont mean what we say

Yummy · Mar 21, 2012

KIKUNGU said:
Tupe maoni yako Mama Tuli,lazima kama ID na Avatar yako inavyoonyesha kuna hazina ya mawazo hapo.Share with us please.

Kikungu unanifanya niongee bwana wakati mimi ningependa kuwa mpokeaji tu leo. Mimi ni muathirika mmojawapo ndio maana nasubiri mawazo ya watu 'LABDA' yanaweza kunisaidia kufanya maamuzi:wink2:
Divorce is not the end of the road, it isn't easy and it is not what we would have chosen. Kikubwa kuliko vyote we need to focus on our children. If we damage our children's future,we damage and diminish ourselves as well. Kama mmeachana wakati watoto ni wadogo lets say 2yrs ni vizuri zaidi ulee watoto wako angalau wakue kuliko kukimbilia kuoa/kuolewa. Watoto wakishakua na uwezo wa kutambua na kuweza kujielezea hapo unaweza kuanza kufikiria pande hiyo nyingine. Tunawaumiza sana watoto kwenye haya matatizo jamani,sio makosa yao ngoja niishie hapa maana huwa nakua extremely emotional inapofika swala la watoto.

Mama wa kambo ni kifaa kingine tofautiii bora baba wa kambo aisee,ukimpata mwenye mapenzi ya kweli mshukuru sana Mungu.....kama kuna mama wa kambo anasoma hapa na anajijua kuwa anatesa/kunyanyasa mtoto wa mwanamke mwingine kweli muombe Mungu akusamehe na uache hiyo tabia. Machozi ya huyo mtoto na mama yake hayataishia chini bureee wallaih. Na mkumbuke kuna leo na kesho utakufa utaacha mtoto wako atateswa kama ulivyokua unamtesa mtoto wa mwenzio.

Ndeonasiae · Mar 21, 2012

ram said:
Binafsi ninahako kauzoefu, nilidivorce na wala sikupenda kudivorce but ilifikia hatua wachungaji na hata huyo hakimu hakuwa na option, ndoa ikavunjwa, so sio divorce zote watu wanataka kuachana tu, Mahakama iliamuru nikaondoka na mtoto niko na maisha mengine kabisa na ninafurahia maisha niliyonayo kwa sasa

pole, life goes on

Yummy · Mar 21, 2012

HorsePower said:
You got me wrong, i hv nothing to add at the moment!

Sorry for that.....i have a feeling u got me wrong too!

[QUOTE By Mama Tuli]Hapo kwenye red kutokua na tabia nzuri haihusiani na mahitaji ya mwili.....kama wewe ni mchapaji hiyo ni tabia yako chafu na sio kutokana na mahitaji ya mwili. Unataka kuniambia mwenye uwezo wa kukaa mwaka mzima kwani yeye hana hayo mahitaji ya mwili???
[/QUOTE]

Hapo kwenye red No offense, just saying(in general).....don't take it personal.

Ndeonasiae · Mar 21, 2012

Mama Tuli said:
Kikungu unanifanya niongee bwana wakati mimi ningependa kuwa mpokeaji tu leo. Mimi ni muathirika mmojawapo ndio maana nasubiri mawazo ya watu 'LABDA' yanaweza kunisaidia kufanya maamuzi:wink2:
Divorce is not the end of the road, it isn't easy and it is not what we would have chosen. Kikubwa kuliko vyote we need to focus on our children. If we damage our children's future,we damage and diminish ourselves as well. Kama mmeachana wakati watoto ni wadogo lets say 2yrs ni vizuri zaidi ulee watoto wako angalau wakue kuliko kukimbilia kuoa/kuolewa. Watoto wakishakua na uwezo wa kutambua na kuweza kujielezea hapo unaweza kuanza kufikiria pande hiyo nyingine. Tunawaumiza sana watoto kwenye haya matatizo jamani,sio makosa yao ngoja niishie hapa maana huwa nakua extremely emotional inapofika swala la watoto.

Mama wa kambo ni kifaa kingine tofautiii bora baba wa kambo aisee,ukimpata mwenye mapenzi ya kweli mshukuru sana Mungu.....kama kuna mama wa kambo anasoma hapa na anajijua kuwa anatesa/kunyanyasa mtoto wa mwanamke mwingine kweli muombe Mungu akusamehe na uache hiyo tabia. Machozi ya huyo mtoto na mama yake hayataishia chini bureee wallaih. Na mkumbuke kuna leo na kesho utakufa utaacha mtoto wako atateswa kama ulivyokua unamtesa mtoto wa mwenzio.

kumbe tuko wengi itabidi tuanzishe chama, pole.

Dr Lizzy · Mar 21, 2012

Kwanza kabisa it crucial you take enough time to recover from the dirvorce/break-up, evaluate you past relationship and find out why it ended in a 'ditch, rebuild and find YOURSELF again maana kutoka kuwa 'mke/mume/mpenzi wa fulani' kwa muda ambao ni mrefu kiasi mpaka kuwa 'fulani tu' sio kitu kirahisi and mostly make sure the kids (if they are old enough) understands that they are NOT responsible for your marriage/relationship not working out AND your relationship with them hasn't changed.

Ukishaona kwamba sasa kweli mimi ni fulani tu (your are not hung up on the EXIE, be it for pleasant or unleasant reasons) and you are ready to move on, fall in love and commit to someone else then . .

First. . .Make sure you find someone that you are truly inlove with so it'll be easier to deal with him/her when things aren't so 'pretty'.
2. . .be completely honest about your situation, let them decide for themselves whether they want to be part of your 'messy' life or not.
3. . .Make sure he/she LIKE KIDS and LOVE YOURS.
4. . .tengeneza mazingira ya watoto wako kumpenda especially kama ni wakubwa wakubwa maana most of the time hawa wadogo wadogo hua hawana tatizo.
5. . .if you have older kids both of you have to make an effort to assure them that the new man/woman in your life is not there to replace their mummy/daddy. They oughtta know that this new person is there to enrich your life and theirs, not to take this or that away.
6. . .find out msimamo wake about having more kids hata kama ana wakwake pia ili uone kama mtakua kwenye mstari mmoja. Maana sometimes utakuta mtu ye ana mtoto. . .anataka mwanaume/mke asie na mtoto huku akidai kua hayuko tayari kuzaa mwingine kitu ambacho ni cha kibinafsi sana.
7. . .Make sure you EXIE does not dictate your current relationship and she/he understands that your relationship and contact is all about the kids. Not about what you and your new 'sugar' does as long as the two of you are not corrupting the kids in one way or the other.
8. . .Pop "THE QUESTION"/say "YES". . . make it official and be good couple and good parents.

fazaa · Mar 21, 2012

KIKUNGU said:
Don't be daft Fazaa unless you are living in Outerspace.We are talking about the eventuallity of divorce and not getting married to divorce.Wewe ndio unakufuru kuona kwamba umeoa huwezi kuja kuachana na mkeo kwa sababu yoyote ile.If that is the case,good on you pal.

Kurudi ya yesu ni ufananishi shiriki na sio kama ulivyoelewa wewe.Good day

That's only true if you don't respect marriage, and see it only as a business contract :cool2:

mgeni10 · Mar 21, 2012

Dada Asha hapo la kuongeza ni kwamba unapo amua kuoa au kuolewa baada ya kutalikiana ni muhumu kuhesabu faida na hasara zamahusiano mapya , na pia kujipanga vizuri ktk uchaguzi wa mwenza ili upunguze machungu. kinyume na hapo utajikuta au unataliki tena au kuishi maisha yasio na amani kwa maisha yako yote
Kwa kua kuna mtoto/watoto ni vyema kuangalia maandalizi ya maisha yao kwa ujumla wake ( Future ), na sio kutafuta kujifariji mwenyewe ukawasahau.

fazaa · Mar 21, 2012

AshaDii said:
Kikungu.... Kwanza naomba niseme kua mtazamo wa namna hio (looking towards a divorce) kama upo katika ndoa sio mzuri.... Ina maana kama upo ndani ya ndoa na ina matatizo badala ya kutafuta suluhu ya kuweza weka sawa wewe unaangalia a way out.

Haya maneno tosha kabisa :cool2:

MAMMAMIA · Mar 21, 2012

Kwanza kuna ile dhana ya "mama wa kambo si mama" - sielewi ina ukweli wa asilimia ngapi - lakini imeenea sana kiasi kwamba imewaweka wanawake (mama wa kambo) wote katika kapu moja. Tukumbuke kuwa mlezi mzuri ni wito, ni majaliwa, ni Mungu alivyokuweka uwe bila ya kujali kama wewe ni mama/baba wa kambo. Tunawaona wazazi/walezi ambao kijuujuu wanajidai kuwa wanawalea watoto vizuri (kwa uelewa wao wa neno "vizuri", kumbe kwa kufanya hivyo huwa wanawapotoa na kuwapa watoto wao malezi mabaya.

Tukirejea suala la kuoa/kuolewa baada ya talaka, ninakubaliana na mmoja aliyependekeza "ulee watoto wako mwenyewe" mpaka wafikie umri angalau wa kujitetea katika maisha. Ninao mfano mzuri wa babu yangu ambaye alifiliwa na mke wake wakati huyu anajifungua mtoto wake wa mwisho, na akalea watoto wake watano bila ya kuoamaishani kwake.

Mke/mume anaweza kuahidi na kuonesha kuwa atawapenda watoto, lakini mara tu baada ya kuwa pamoja nawe akajihisi tayari amefika, akataka umiliki wa kila kitu na kuanza kuwadharau/kuwatesa watoto. Pengine mimi nina msimamo mkali kuhusu watoto, lakini nahisi bora kutafuta mfanyakazi wa ndani akusaidie kulea, atafanya hilo ikiwa si kwa mapezi basi angalau kwa kujali kazi yake, kuliko mke/mume ambaye atatanguliza maslahi yake mbele kabla ya malezi na ustawi wa watoto.

Na kama unahisi lazima uoe/uolewe, kitu muhimu ni kumwekea wazi muhusika kuwa "watoto wako ni muhimu kwako kuliko chochote", ili aelewe kuwa akileta za kuleta, anaweza asitoke kwa mlango alioingilia. He! hapa sikusudii kuua, bali kama aliingia kwa furaha anaweza kutoka kwa huzuni (ukiachia ukweli kuwa ninawezafanya lolote kuwalinda watoto wangu).

MAMMAMIA · Mar 21, 2012

Lizzy said:
Kwanza kabisa it crucial you take enough time to recover from the dirvorce/break-up, evaluate you past relationship and find out why it ended in a 'ditch, rebuild and find YOURSELF again maana kutoka kuwa 'mke/mume/mpenzi wa fulani' kwa muda ambao ni mrefu kiasi mpaka kuwa 'fulani tu' sio kitu kirahisi and mostly make sure the kids (if they are old enough) understands that they are NOT responsible for your marriage/relationship not working out AND your relationship with them hasn't changed.

Ukishaona kwamba sasa kweli mimi ni fulani tu (your are not hung up on the EXIE, be it for pleasant or unleasant reasons) and you are ready to move on, fall in love and commit to someone else then . .

First. . .Make sure you find someone that you are truly inlove with so it'll be easier to deal with him/her when things aren't so 'pretty'.
2. . .be completely honest about your situation, let them decide for themselves whether they want to be part of your 'messy' life or not.
3. . .Make sure he/she LIKE KIDS and LOVE YOURS.
4. . .tengeneza mazingira ya watoto wako kumpenda especially kama ni wakubwa wakubwa maana most of the time hawa wadogo wadogo hua hawana tatizo.
5. . .if you have older kids both of you have to make an effort to assure them that the new man/woman in your life is not there to replace their mummy/daddy. They oughtta know that this new person is there to enrich your life and theirs, not to take this or that away.
6. . .find out msimamo wake about having more kids hata kama ana wakwake pia ili uone kama mtakua kwenye mstari mmoja. Maana sometimes utakuta mtu ye ana mtoto. . .anataka mwanaume/mke asie na mtoto huku akidai kua hayuko tayari kuzaa mwingine kitu ambacho ni cha kibinafsi sana.
7. . .Make sure you EXIE does not dictate your current relationship and she/he understands that your relationship and contact is all about the kids. Not about what you and your new 'sugar' does as long as the two of you are not corrupting the kids in one way or the other.
8. . .Pop "THE QUESTION"/say "YES". . . make it official and be good couple and good parents.

Lizzy Mkuu, points zako safi kabisa. Ninakupa THANKS pamoja na LIKE niliyotanguliza.

MandawaNaManenge · Mar 21, 2012

Umeomba uzoefu. Haya, tunakupa sie yaliyotusibu.

Mosi, kama wengine waliotangulia kuchangia, divorce au mfarakano si kitu cha kuombea wala kupanga. Lakini, hadi likawepo hilo neno, ina maana ni jambo tokevu, yaani lipo.

Pili, kwa uzoefu wangu, ni kitu kigumu saaana na kinaleta msongo maana , kiukweli, pamoja na kuwa hutokuwa wa kwanza wala wa mwisho, bado jamii haijakikubali hiki kitu kwa hiyo unaonekana kama misfit fulani katika jamii, jambo ambalo hakuna binadamu wa kawaida anapenda. Maana jamiii imezoea uzaliwifu ( yaani unazaliwa), unasoma, unaolewa/oa, unazaa na wewe then unakufa.
Sasa haya mambo ya kati huwa yanaleta maswali mengi kama ambavyo ukichelewa kuoa /olewa inavyokuwa issue ( nitajaribu kuleta uzi wa uzoefu wangu binafsi juu ya hili wakati mwingine)

Mimi ilivyonitokea, sikutaka hata kuonana na watu. Kwanza hata namna ya ku communicate kwa wazazi na ndugu kuwa hicho kitu karibu kinatokea ilikuwa ni mbinde maana tunatoka familia ya wacha Mungu sana.
Ni experience ngumu na wakati huo hata sikuwa nataka wala kufikiri juu ya replacement. Niliwaona wanaume wote kama wabaya na nilichotaka ni kuwa tu peke yangu. Sikufichi , hata wazo la kujipotezea maisha lilikuwa wazo la karibu mno maana niliona kama nimejifedhehesha, nimefedhehesha familia na pia nime fail katika hiyo aspect ya maisha.
Sikutazamia hata siku moja kuwa nami ningekuwa hivyo lakini hujafa..........( unajua sana namna ya kumalizia hapo)

Sasa inapokuja kwa watoto, of course mie ishu yangu ni tofauti kwa hapo, sikuwa na mtoto huko , though niliwapata huko mbeleni , lakini stress ni kubwa. Kulea watoto pekeo ni kazi lakini pia najaribu kufikiri pia, hivi kulea mtoto ukiwa ndoani lakini partner/mwenzi hana mchango wowote ingawa nje unaonekana uko ndoani, napo ni tabu tu ya kutosha.
Sitaki kuichakachua thread yako, lakini , tuzidishe tu sala ili watu wawe na ndoa njema ki-nje na kindani maana haya ya huku, ni yanachosha labda tu uamue kujitoa ufahamu!

Waktabahu!

MandawaNaManenge · Mar 21, 2012

Umeomba uzoefu. Haya, tunakupa sie yaliyotusibu.

Mosi, kama wengine waliotangulia kuchangia, divorce au mfarakano si kitu cha kuombea wala kupanga. Lakini, hadi likawepo hilo neno, ina maana ni jambo tokevu, yaani lipo.

Pili, kwa uzoefu wangu, ni kitu kigumu saaana na kinaleta msongo maana , kiukweli, pamoja na kuwa hutokuwa wa kwanza wala wa mwisho, bado jamii haijakikubali hiki kitu kwa hiyo unaonekana kama misfit fulani katika jamii, jambo ambalo hakuna binadamu wa kawaida anapenda. Maana jamiii imezoea uzaliwifu ( yaani unazaliwa), unasoma, unaolewa/oa, unazaa na wewe then unakufa.
Sasa haya mambo ya kati huwa yanaleta maswali mengi kama ambavyo ukichelewa kuoa /olewa inavyokuwa issue ( nitajaribu kuleta uzi wa uzoefu wangu binafsi juu ya hili wakati mwingine)

Mimi ilivyonitokea, sikutaka hata kuonana na watu. Kwanza hata namna ya ku communicate kwa wazazi na ndugu kuwa hicho kitu karibu kinatokea ilikuwa ni mbinde maana tunatoka familia ya wacha Mungu sana.
Ni experience ngumu na wakati huo hata sikuwa nataka wala kufikiri juu ya replacement. Niliwaona wanaume wote kama wabaya na nilichotaka ni kuwa tu peke yangu. Sikufichi , hata wazo la kujipotezea maisha lilikuwa wazo la karibu mno maana niliona kama nimejifedhehesha, nimefedhehesha familia na pia nime fail katika hiyo aspect ya maisha.
Sikutazamia hata siku moja kuwa nami ningekuwa hivyo lakini hujafa..........( unajua sana namna ya kumalizia hapo)

Sasa inapokuja kwa watoto, of course mie ishu yangu ni tofauti kwa hapo, sikuwa na mtoto huko , though niliwapata huko mbeleni , lakini stress ni kubwa. Kulea watoto pekeo ni kazi lakini pia najaribu kufikiri pia, hivi kulea mtoto ukiwa ndoani lakini partner/mwenzi hana mchango wowote ingawa nje unaonekana uko ndoani, napo ni tabu tu ya kutosha.
Sitaki kuichakachua thread yako, lakini , tuzidishe tu sala ili watu wawe na ndoa njema ki-nje na kindani maana haya ya huku, ni yanachosha labda tu uamue kujitoa ufahamu!

Waktabahu!

MandawaNaManenge · Mar 21, 2012

Nilisahau sasa kutoa ushauri , baada ya kutoa experience yangu. Ushauri wangu mdogo kwako, ni kuwa hesabu gharama na faida za kutaka kupata replacement ( sijui kama ni sawa kuita hivyo).
Inawezekana , mahitaji yakazidi uwiano wa faida za kukaa mwenyewe, maana uhitaji wa mwili si mchache nao; lakini kama unaweza kufanya timing, yaani isiwe too sudden, na hasa kama una watoto . Jipeni muda wa kukaa pamoja kama familia na ku establish values zenu ili pia anapokuja mtu mwingine isiwe kama mmechanganya mapera, pilipili, nyanya chungu na chai. Yaani vitu havikamatani. Muwe na cohesion nyie kwanza.
Kumbuka yule mtu anayekuja naye ana vionjo vyake, whether naye ana watoto au hana. Kwahiyo akija akakuta tena na huku hapana mashiko, ndio inaanza lawama au nagging kuwa ' ndo maana ndoa yako ya mwanzo haiku work out' ambayo sio mazuri.

Naongea kwa kuvuta hisia hapa maana loh, nikivuta mafaili yangu huko nyuma, nasikia kuzizima. Yalinikuta hasa. ( anyways, hapa si mahala pake!)

Mwisho wa siku, sala. Kwa imani yoyote uliyo nayo, Mungu awe mbele na busara ya utu uzima itawale, lengo likiwa ni kupunguza athari kwa watoto na pia ku maintain sanity yako.

Waktabahu

Yummy · Mar 21, 2012

MAMMAMIA said:
Kwanza kuna ile dhana ya "mama wa kambo si mama" - sielewi ina ukweli wa asilimia ngapi - lakini imeenea sana kiasi kwamba imewaweka wanawake (mama wa kambo) wote katika kapu moja. Tukumbuke kuwa mlezi mzuri ni wito, ni majaliwa, ni Mungu alivyokuweka uwe bila ya kujali kama wewe ni mama/baba wa kambo. Tunawaona wazazi/walezi ambao kijuujuu wanajidai kuwa wanawalea watoto vizuri (kwa uelewa wao wa neno "vizuri", kumbe kwa kufanya hivyo huwa wanawapotoa na kuwapa watoto wao malezi mabaya.

Tukirejea suala la kuoa/kuolewa baada ya talaka, ninakubaliana na mmoja aliyependekeza "ulee watoto wako mwenyewe" mpaka wafikie umri angalau wa kujitetea katika maisha. Ninao mfano mzuri wa babu yangu ambaye alifiliwa na mke wake wakati huyu anajifungua mtoto wake wa mwisho, na akalea watoto wake watano bila ya kuoamaishani kwake.

Mke/mume anaweza kuahidi na kuonesha kuwa atawapenda watoto, lakini mara tu baada ya kuwa pamoja nawe akajihisi tayari amefika, akataka umiliki wa kila kitu na kuanza kuwadharau/kuwatesa watoto. Pengine mimi nina msimamo mkali kuhusu watoto, lakini nahisi bora kutafuta mfanyakazi wa ndani akusaidie kulea, atafanya hilo ikiwa si kwa mapezi basi angalau kwa kujali kazi yake, kuliko mke/mume ambaye atatanguliza maslahi yake mbele kabla ya malezi na ustawi wa watoto.

Na kama unahisi lazima uoe/uolewe, kitu muhimu ni kumwekea wazi muhusika kuwa "watoto wako ni muhimu kwako kuliko chochote", ili aelewe kuwa akileta za kuleta, anaweza asitoke kwa mlango alioingilia. He! hapa sikusudii kuua, bali kama aliingia kwa furaha anaweza kutoka kwa huzuni (ukiachia ukweli kuwa ninawezafanya lolote kuwalinda watoto wangu).

Red - Hii imetokana na asilimia kubwa sana ya mama wa kambo kuwa na tabia za kunyanyasa watoto wa wengine lakini hatuwezi kuwaweka wanawake wote kwenye kapu moja. Ila inaogopesha sana, cha msingi wazazi(ambao ni wahusika)inabidi wawafikirie watoto kwanza kabla ya kufanya maamuzi mengine. Ingekua kuna sheria kuwa custody atapewa yule ambae ataweza kulea watoto mpaka wafike umri fulani(kama 10yrs sio mbaya) bila 'KUISHI' na mume/mke mwingine ingewasaidia sana hawa malaika wanaukumbwa na hii dhoruba ya kunyanyasika bila makosa.

Blue - Na mara nyingi mume/mke huwa wanaangalia maslahi zaidi kuliko hilo jukumu la kulea unless wote wawe divorced.

Purple - Kinachotokea hapo ni kuwa mbele ya macho yako huyo mwenza wako ni mzuri sana kwa watoto na atakua busy kukupa hata mahitaji yao,na kujifanya hata anawatoa weekend lakini pale unapompa mgongo tu hao watoto wanakipata cha moto. Sasa wewe fikiria mtoto wa miaka minne atakuja kukusimulia nini umuelewe ili uweze kukabiliana na hiyo hali. Labda upate dada ambae hataogopa kuvunja mahusiano(ndoa) yenu akwambie kuwa huyu mama/baba ukiondoka anawatesa watoto vinginevyo imekula kwako. Kwa wanaume ni ngumu kugundua haya,bora wanawake wanaweza kumuita mtoto na kuanza kumuuliza maswali hata kama hataweza kukuelezea kitu ukaelewa ila kuna vitu utagundua tu.

Dr Lizzy · Mar 21, 2012

Alafu kuna hii thread nilianzisha last year kuhusu namna ya kulinda mahusiano mapya pale unapokua unaishi na mtu tofauti na mzazi mwenzako. . .
https://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano-mapenzi-urafiki/138550-wazazi-wenza.html

Ukishaamua kuoa/olewa tena baada ya kumpata unaeona anafaa basi unakua na mtihani mwingine wa kuhakikisha mzazi mwenzako hakupi wewe na mwenzi wako wakati mgumu.

Dr Lizzy · Mar 21, 2012

MAMMAMIA said:
Lizzy Mkuu, points zako safi kabisa. Ninakupa THANKS pamoja na LIKE niliyotanguliza.

Ahsante MammaMia. . .
Nimefurahi kua umegusia swala la mama wa kambo. Binafsi pale ambapo mama anaweza(kimatendo-hali na mali, kifikra,matakwa) kuwalea watoto ambao ni chini ya angalau miaka 8 basi waachwe kwa mama. Yani pamoja na kwamba mimi ni mmoja wa watu wanaoamini kwamba bado wapo wanawake wenye mioyo ya kibinaadamu linapokuja swala la mama wa kambo, bado siko tayari kumwachia mwanamke mwingine ambae sio ndugu wala rafiki yangu ninaemwamini anilelee mtoto ambae hawezi kushtaki wala kujitetea pale anapoonewa.

Ila inapotokea mwanamke anakua hana mapenzi na wanae basi baba awe karibu sana na watoto kuhakikisha kwamba mwenzi wake mpya au hata dada wa kazi hafanyi zaidi ya anavyotegemea yeye.

Single Parenthood

JF-Expert Member

Platinum Member

JF-Expert Member

Platinum Member

JF-Expert Member

Senior Member

JF-Expert Member

Senior Member

Platinum Member

JF-Expert Member

JF-Expert Member

JF-Expert Member

JF-Expert Member

JF-Expert Member

Member

Member

Member

JF-Expert Member

Platinum Member

Platinum Member

Similar Discussions