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Pornography & our marriages!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Calnde, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Sijajua kama jamvini tumewahi kufikiri swala la pornography na ndoa zetu! Does it help anything? How devastating it is? Maana

    hapa kwenye ndoa kuna wa aina tatu.

    a) Both mume na mke wanakubaliana na wanaangalia kwa pamoja! (sijui imekaaje hii)

    b) Both wanaibiana, hakuna anae mwambia mwenzake kwamba tuangalie! Kila mmoja anajua mwenzake haangalii lakini wote


    c) Halafu wapo ambao mmoja ndo mwibiaji mkubwa!

    Testimony of Jill C. Manning

    Before the Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rightsand Property Rights Commitee on Judiciary
    United States Senate

    November 9, 2005

    Thank you Senator Brownback, Senator Feingold and distinguished members of the Sub-Committee;

    . . . The research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others:
    1. Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce,
    2. Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction,
    3. Infidelity
    4. Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal or unsafe practices,
    5. Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing,
    6. An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behaviour.
    These trends reflect a cluster of symptoms that undermine the foundation upon which successful marriages and families are established.
  2. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    * The U.S. Customs Service estimates that there are more than 100,000 websites offering child pornography (which are illegal) worldwide.
    Red Herring Magazine,
    * Hollywood currently releases 11,000 adult movies per year – more than 20 times the mainstream movie production.
    LA Times Magazine, 2002.

    * 39 million homes receive the adult channels in scrambled form, while the number of children with potential exposure to such images is about 29 million
    Morality Continues to Decay. Barna Research Group, November 3, 2003.
    * One in 4 American adults surveyed in 2002 admitted to seeing an x-rated movie in the last year.
    National Opinion Research Letter
    55%: Percentage of Porn movie rentals vs. non-porn movies in hotels in 2005.
    AVN News, State of the Adult Industry

    * The average time a porn movie is watched in a hotel room is 12 minutes., 3-29-05

    * The average teenager spends three to four hours per day watching television and 83% of the programming most frequently watched by adolescents contains some sexual content.
    Gary Rose, CEO of The Medical Institute, as reported by Focus on the Family 7/8/2005
    * 1/3 of 13 year old boys in Alberta, Canada admitted to viewing porn.
    From a University of Alberta Study, March 2007, as reported by

    * 42% of songs on ten top-selling CDs in 1999 contained sexual content, 41% of which were "very explicit" or "pretty explicit."
    Family News in Focus, July 2005

    "Last year, Comcast, the nation's largest cable company, pulled in $50 million from adult programming. All the nation's top cable operators, from Time Warner to Cablevision, distribute sexually explicit material to their subscribers. But you won't read about it in their annual reports. Same with satellite providers like EchoStar and DirecTV, which is owned by Hughes Technology, a subsidiary of General Motors.
    How much does DirecTV make off of adult product?
    "They don't break the number out. But I would guess they'd probably get a couple hundred million, maybe as much as $500 million, off of adult entertainment, in a broad sense," says Dennis McAlpine, a partner in McAlpine Associates, who has tracked the entertainment industry for over two decades. "I would think it's probably more than what their overall profit is. The other areas are losing money. That's making money."
    Then there are the big hotel chains: Hilton, Marriot, Hyatt, Sheraton and Holiday Inn, which all offer adult films on in-room pay-per-view television systems. And they are purchased by a whopping 50 percent of their guests, accounting for nearly 70 percent of their in-room profits. One hotel owner said, "We have to have it, our guests demand it."
    From a CBS News Special Report, November 2003

    * "The porn industry employs an excess of 12,000 people in California. In California alone the porn industry pays over $36 million in taxes every year."
    Bill Lyon, a former lobbyist for the defense industry turned lobbyist for porn, as quoted by CBS News November 2003.

    In a Kinsey Institute survey, respondents were asked "Why do you use porn?"
    72% said they used porn to masturbate/for physical release.
    69% - to sexually arouse themselves and/or others.
    54% - out of curiosity.
    43% - "because I can fantasize about things I would not necessarily want in real life."
    38% - to distract myself.

    * "Most girls who enter the porn industry do one video and quit. The experience is so painful, horrifying, embarrassing, humiliating for them that they never do it again."
    Luke Ford, quoted by CBS News

    * A study of university networks by Palisades Systems found searches for child pornography at 230 colleges nationwide. The research revealed that 42% of all searches on file-to-file sharing systems involved child or adult pornography. The study also found that 73% of movie searches were for pornography, 24% percent of image searches were for child pornography, and only 3% of the searches did not involve pornography or copyrighted materials.
    April 1, 2003 – Des Moines Register

    87% of university students are having sex over webcams, instant messenger or the telephone.
    Reuters, Ontario Canada, February 16, 2006.

    * Queen's University in
    Belfast conducted a survey of 350 businesses in the U.S., U.K. and Australia for the porn-filtering firm SurfControl. 28% of those questioned said they had downloaded sexually explicit content from the Web while on the job. U.S.-based employees were slightly less likely to do so than workers in other countries. The survey also found abuse to be slightly higher in organizations with more than 500 employees. Of the 31 percent of employees who distributed sexually explicit material from work, 36 percent worked at companies larger than 500 employees; 27 percent worked for companies with 20 employees or less.

    * In May 2004 Businessweek printed the results of a ComScore Networks survey where 44% of U.S. workers with an internet connection admitted to accessing an X rated website at work in the month of March 2004, as compared to 40% of home users and 59% of University users.

    * More than 30% of 1,500 surveyed companies have terminated employees for inappropriate use of the Internet, while only 37.5% of companies use filtering software.
    Websense Incorporated and The Center for Internet Studies, 2000.

    * 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction
    * 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
    * 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
    Internet Filter Review

    * 38 percent of adults believe it is ‘morally acceptable' to look at pictures of nudity or explicit sexual behavior
    Morality Continues to Decay. Barna Research Group, 3 November, 2003.

    * 59 percent of adults believe it is ‘morally acceptable' to have sexual thoughts or fantasies
    Morality Continues to Decay. Barna Research Group, 3 November, 2003.

    * 38 percent of adults believe there is nothing wrong with pornography use
    Morality Continues to Decay. Barna Research Group, 3 November, 2003.

    * 42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner's use of pornography made them feel insecure.
    Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.

    * 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner's pornography use.
    Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.

    * March 20, 2007: At a men's summit in Oregon before 2,000 men, Shelley Lubben of Shelley Lubben ministries challenged those who were struggling with porn addiction to stand. 30% rose to their feet. She immediately challenged them a second time, with the result that some 70% were standing.

    * March, 2007: At a small Christian conference in Austria, 75% of the 25 men in attendance admitted to being involved with porn; 50% within the past 6 months.
    * April 6, 2007: 70% of Christians admitted to struggling with porn in their daily lives. From a non-scientific poll taken by XXXChurch, as reported by CNN.
    * August 7,2006:
    50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis.
    From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by

    * In December of 2000, the National Coalition to Protect Children and Families surveyed 5 Christian Campuses to see how the next generation of believers was doing with sexual purity:
    48% of males admitted to current porn use
    68% of males said they intentionally viewed a sexually explicit site at the school

    * Roger Charman of Focus on the Family's Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
    * A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.
    * In 2000 Christianity Today survey, 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites "a few times" in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.
    * Out of 81 pastors surveyed (74 males 7 female), 98% had been exposed to porn; 43% intentionally accessed a sexually explicit website
    National Coalition survey of pastors.
    Seattle. April 2000.

    * In his book, "Men's Secret Wars", Patrick Means reveals a confidential survey of evangelical pastors and church lay leaders. Sixty-four percent of these Christian leaders confirm that they are struggling with sexual addiction or sexual compulsion including, but not limited to use of pornography, compulsive masturbation, or other secret sexual activity.

    * In his book "The Sexual Man", Dr. Archibald Hart revealed the results of a survey of some 600 Christian men, on the topic of masturbation:
    61% of married Christian men masturbate
    82% of these have self sex on an average of once a week; 10% have sex with self 5-10 times per month, 6% more than 15 times per month, and 1% more than 20 times a
    13% of Christian married men said they felt it was normal.

    * 34 percent of female readers of Today's Christian Woman's online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll.

    * In March of 2002 Rick Warren's (author of the Purpose Driven life) website conducted a survey on porn use of 1351 pastors: 54% of the pastors had viewed Internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days.

    * 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home.
    Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003.

    * In a survey of over 500 Christian men at a men's retreat, over 90% admitted that they were feeling disconnected from God because lust, porn, or fantasy had gained a foothold in their lives.
    As reported in an article on by Kenny Luck.

    In March 2005 Christianity Today published the results of a study called "Christians and Sex" in their Leadership Journal. 680 pastors and 1,972 laypersons were surveyed, with the following results:
    * 44% of churchgoers want to hear more scriptural teaching from their pastors on the subject of sex.
    * 22% of pastors feel they should spend more time on the topic.
    * 85% of pastors say they speak about sexual issues once a year, while 63% of churchgoers say their pastors do so. Among those churchgoers who say they want their pastors to preach more about sexual issues, 47% say their pastor speaks about it once a year, an even bigger difference of opinion. A CTI analyst was quoted saying "Perhaps this desire for more biblical exposition on sexual issues exists because pastors are not speaking forcefully or clearly enough, while exposure to sexual images and messages in today's media is ever more heightened."
    * 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation.
    * Almost 9 in 10 pastors reported counseling a layperson on sexual issues once a year or more.

    I had a hard time believing that half the men in the church would really be accessing porn, so early 2004 I asked the church where we attended at the time if they would be willing to take a survey. They agreed, and in the survey we asked the men "when was the last time you looked at pornography?" The church was made up mostly of young families, and the idea that many of the husbands and fathers I sat next to every Sunday were dabbling in porn... I couldn't comprehend it. Surely, I thought, the numbers would be lower. It can't be half, not in my church.
    Of those who responded, here's what came back:
    25% had viewed porn within the past month
    44% within the past 6 months
    61% within the past year

    Pornography is corrupting the church and destroying our nation; without action the problem will only get worse.

    The following statistics, from both secular and religious sources reveal that porn is now as American as Apple Pie, and has found a place in every corner of our society, including the church. The statistics on porn use among Christians are near the end.

    * At 13.3 billion, the 2006 revenues of the sex and porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Worldwide sex industry sales for 2006 are reported to be 97 billion. To put this in perspective, Microsoft, who sells the operating system used on most of the computers in the world (in addition to other software) reported sales of 44.8 billion in 2006.
    Internet Filter Review

    US Sex Industry breakdown for 2006:
    Video Sales and Rentals: 3.62 billion
    Internet: 2.84 billion
    Cable/PPV/In-room/Mobile phone sex: 2.19 billion
    Exotic Dance Clubs: 2 billion
    Novelties: 1.73 billion
    Magazines: .95 billion
    Total - 13.3 billion.
    2005 Sex Industry sales - 12.62 billion
    Internet Filter Review

    * 60% of all website visits are sexual in nature
    MSNBC Survey 2000

    * The No. 1 search term used at search engine sites is the word "sex". Users searched for "sex" more than other terms such as "games," "travel," "music," "jokes," "cars," "weather," "health" and "jobs" combined. The study also found that "pornography/porno" was the fourth-most searched for subject.

    Alexa Research

    72 million: The approximate number of unique visitors to adult websites in 2006, per month, worldwide.
    420 million: Total number of porn pages.
    40 million: The number of U.S. adults who regularly visit porn websites.
    Internet Filter Review
    [FONT=Times New Roman, Georgia, Times]
    [/FONT]A 2000 survey found that as many as 80 percent of visitors to sex sites were spending so much time tracking down erotica on the computer that they were putting their real-life relationships and/or jobs at risk. "Until they discovered cybersex, most of these people had no problems with sexual addition", according to the survey's author, Al Cooper, a sex therapist at the San Jose Marital Services and Sexuality Center in San Jose, Calif.

    * 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married.
    Forrester Research Report, 2001

    * In 2001, in a study of 7037 adults, two thirds of those who visit websites with sexual content say their Internet activities haven't affected their level of sexual activity with their partners, though 75% report masturbating while on line.
  3. Graph Theory

    Graph Theory JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Athari za sayansi na teke linalokuijia
  4. Jakubumba

    Jakubumba JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Ngoma inogile hapo! Ila kwangu sioni kama kuna tatizo kuangalia pornograph. Tatizo linakuja pale ambapo unaangalia bila kuwa na sababu! Wengine huwa wanatafuta stimulus za mapenzi tu na hawana baya lolote. Hata ndani ya ndoa ni makubaliano tu yanatakiwa kama mmojawapo anapenda kuangalia, kama hakuna basi kusiwepo kulazimishana.
  5. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    ukiona unapenda kila mara kuangalia porno ujue una walakini fulani kwa sababu hakuna jipya zaidi ya watu kurudia yale yale waliyokuwa wanayafanya sasa kurudia rudia kuangalia picha ambazo hazina jipya huoni kuwa lazima umepungukiwa na kitu fulani?
  6. Bumpkin Billionare

    Bumpkin Billionare JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Sijui ni kutoelewa kiingereza au nini, huko kuangalia ndio tatizo lenyewe. Hebu rudia tena labda nikuulize, unajua maana ya addiction?
  7. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    When a child lives in a home where an adult is consuming pornography, he or she encounters the following four risks:

    1. Decreased parental time and attention
    2. Increased risk of encountering pornographic material
    3. Increased risk of parental separation and divorce and
    4. Increased risk of parental job loss and financial strain
    When a child or adolescent is directly exposed the following effects have been documented:

    1. Lasting negative or traumatic emotional responses,
    2. Earlier onset of first sexual intercourse, thereby increasing the risk of STD's over the lifespan,
    3. The belief that superior sexual satisfaction is attainable without having affection for one's partner, thereby reinforcing the commoditization of sex and the objectification of humans.
    4. The belief that being married or having a family are unattractive prospects;
    5. Increased risk for developing sexual compulsions and addictive behavior,
    6. Increased risk of exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality long before a minor is able to contextualize this information in ways an adult brain could.
    7. And, overestimating the prevalence of less common practices (e.g., group sex, bestiality, or sadomasochistic activity).
  8. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Mheshimiwa Jakubumba! Hebu nipo sababu tano unazodhani ni reasonable and justifiable mtu kuangalia pornographs! Lets say hata hawa waliooana. Kuna sababu gani za msingi kwa wanandoa kukubaliana kuangalia porn
  9. KakaKiiza

    KakaKiiza JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Jamani sijui kama nitaeleweka hapa mimi kwangu Pornography image,video's nimezijaza kwenye harddisk ya kichwa changu hata kama niliyenaye simpendi basi nita-reload matukio yaliyopita na kumpata mkali niliyemfili na kufatisha alichokuwa akikifanya kwa kipindi hicho cha nyuma then shuguli inaendelea kama kawaida!!!:lol:
  10. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Kakakiiza!Hiyo experience balaa! Im speechless. Ila sidhani kama ni sahihi. Lazima itakuwa na madhara psychologically
  11. j

    jitegemee Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Naona hapa mnanipotezea muda, ngoja nikamwangalie Natalia Cruze au Alexias Love..........! mwenye simu kama mimi anaweza kucheck phoneerotical
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    sikuwepo hapa!
  13. Calnde

    Calnde JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    @Jitegemee! Haya, nenda ukajitegemee salama! As long as its ok with u

    COURTESY JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    duh uzi mrefu sana,usummarize
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    Ngoja watu wapoteze hisia zote huko kwenye porn. . no wonder wengine wanahangaika na madawa ya kuongeza nguvu na kulazimisha hisia.
  16. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi niclean my laptop recently; sina hata picha moja ya utupu. And l have quit watching porn, ingawa sioni dhambi mtu akiangalia!
  17. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

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    Wanachokera wengine ni kutaka ku-practice wanayotazama huko bila utayari/ufahamu wa partner.....pornography is a serious challenge in most marriages today.....kuna watu wako addicted hata efficiency yao kwenye masuala mengine inapungua...control!
  18. cartura

    cartura JF-Expert Member

    Jan 22, 2012
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    best option kati ya zile ulizoweka kule juu ni kila mtu kuangalia kivyake halafu alete maujuzi ndani ya mpambano teh teh teh...