Pombe hizi! Mweee! Kwanini naendelea kuwa mlevi?

[Captain Phillip]

inatakiwa nikibebeshe vyuma kiongezeke uzito

Hapana Kakisage then uchanganye na saruji kisha utengeneze tofali ukirudishe mahala pake

 

[mgt software]

MiImi pOmbe imEshawahiNifanYa kuA mtumwaa. Ila nilipo oa mke waNgu nikaAamua kumfaNya yy ndo KileVi changu. Yaani niKipata Kiu ya Pombe naMpigia simu kama yuko mbali naMwambia maNeno maTamu kwaMba nimEmmiss na niNataKa papuchi. so NikiToka job jiOni siendi Baa naWaHi nyumBani ilIatulize kiu Yangu.


ushAuRi wanGu: tafuTa kiTu au mtu unaChokipenDa ukIfaNye ndo poMbe yaKo palE kiu iNapokuja unamwamBia akusaidie either kWa usHauri au maHabaaa.

p.DIdY. uSicHekeNitaKe

 

[lukelo sakafu]

mkuu umezoda ofa ofa, utakufa shauri yako

 

[Mystery]

Ifike wakati tuseme IMETOSHA SASA. BAAAAAAAS

Mkuu Bujibuji nakushauri uanze kutumia NON ALCOHOLICS DRINKS only.

Mwanzo unaweza kuwa mgumu, lakini baadaye utazoea na utarealize kuwa kumbe pombe imekulostisha sana kipindi ulipokuwa unaigida.

Hata nami nilikuwa na tatizo kama lako lakini hivi sasa 'nimekombolewa' na utumwa huo wa pombe, sasa hivi my favourite drink is Batika!

 

[NJUGHU]

Pombe ni kitu ingine acha kabisa.Utmwa wake utaujua siku ukipumzika pombe.Haina Shida ila matukio na pesa inavyotembea.

 

[masai dada]

you need jesus
black,tall,handsome guy.

 

[kabugira]

du ndugu nimecheka sana, mimi nimeamua kwa sasa yatosha, wacha hizo familia ziendelee tu, maana wengine sio maskini ni matajiri, ila pombe hata kwenye biblia inaandika uleta magomvi, mimi nashukuru Mungu manumbu sikupata, il nilikuwa nikinywa lazima nizurule balaa, nihame bar mpaka basi na kuibiwa du imenitia hasara sana na kunifedhehesha. ila sasa yatosha. nimebaki na makovu tu ya ajali mkononi. ila pombe du.

mimi nilifikiri kwamba haya hutokea kwangu tu! kumbe ni kawaida! hii pombe bhana!!!?

 

[Kiteitei]

Baada ya muda nikaanza kupata matatizo makubwa, nikawa kila nikinywa pombe naanza kuwa na imani kuwa mimi ni mwalimu wa karate, nikawa najaribu kuwatandika karate wote waliokuwa wanabisha hadithi ninazowahadithia, baadae yoyote aliyepita mbele yangu nilitishia kuwa ntampiga.

Kama unavyojua tena binadamu wa nchi hii, ukitaka kumpiga anajitetea, sasa wengine ni kati ya wale wananchi wenye hasira kali, hivyo mara nyingi niliamka asubuhi nikiwa na manundu na majeraha ya hapa na pale.

Nadhani pombe nilizokuwa nakunywa zilikuwa zinachanganywa na kitu cha ajabu sana, maana baada ya muda si mrefu nikaacha kujiona najua karate ila nikawa najiona mimi ni hendsam sana. Basi nikinywa kidogo tu nilikuwa najaribu kuwashika shika wadada hovyo nikiwa na uhakika wananipenda, hivyo nikawa nadundwa mara nyingi na wanaume wenye wivu, wale ambao hata ukimuangalia bibi yake kidogo, ataanza kurusha ngumi, si unajua kuna wanaume hawanaga subira.

Halafu hata wadada wengine wanapiga utadhani wanaua nyoka. Hakika hii iliniletea shida sana na kulazimika kuhudhuria vikao vingi kwenye ofisi za serikali ya mtaa wakati sijanywa na kunipa wakati mgumu uliojaa aibu. Nakumbuka nililazimika kuhama nyumba moja niliyopanga baada ya kurudi usiku na kugonga kwenye mlango wa chumba cha mama mwenye nyumba niliyokuwa naishi na kutaka afungue nilale kwake.

Mtiti mkubwa uliotokea usiku ule, sasa asubuhi nilipoamka pombe zikiwa zimetoka kichwani, mimi mwenyewe nilihama nyumba bila kufukuzwa.

Shikamoo bujibuji!!!! Nimepaliwa kwa kuchekaa!!!!!! Haaa haaaaa...hata sina la kushauri.. . .

 

[TAJIRI MKUU WA MATAJIRI]

Mwahizaya kazini

 

[Uso wa nyoka]

Na huo ndio tunaita upendo wa kweli.

Mpende mwingine kama/kuliko unavojipenda mwenyewe.

Nunua pombe,kuza uchumi wa wazalishaji wa pombe.

Pombe si kitu kibaya, iacheni tu, kikubwa ujue limit yako.

 

[Uso wa nyoka]

you need jesus
black,tall,handsome guy.

Huwa ukitumia hiyo sentensi, huwa unanikumbusha hii hadithi:
Jesus is watching you!

-
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his pack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,

"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a birdMoses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiller Jesus

 

[masai dada]

Huwa ukitumia hiyo sentensi, huwa unanikumbusha hii hadithi:
Jesus is watching you!

-
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his pack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,

"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a birdMoses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiller Jesus

muizi alikua jasiri duuuh