Mshana Jr
Platinum Member
- Aug 19, 2012
- 375,976
- 871,042
Ni nyakati zile za usiku ninapolala kitandani, bila lepe la usingizi nimepotelea mawazoni.. Hii hali ni ngumu sana.
Akili yangu ina mawazo isitoshe ya kile kilichokuwa, kitakachokuwa na hata kile kinachoweza kuwa ..na kama haya yatajirudia wakati mwingine.
Natamani nisingegeuza uwezekano usio na mwisho na kufikiria juu ya siku za nyuma za kuumiza sana, lakini ndivyo akili yangu inavyofanya kazi.
Nimeumia mara nyingi sana inakaribia kuhisi kawaida sasa na nimekuwa nikivunjika mara nyingi, nataka tu kusahau jinsi nilivyovunjika.
Ninajaribu kukumbatia dosari zangu, makosa na maumivu ili kuwa bora, lakini ni vigumu sana kushinda hisia ambazo zinataka sana kunishusha.
Hisia zote, mawazo na maumivu huchanganyikana na nimekwama mara kwa mara kati ya kutaka kujitenga kabisa na kujaribu kusahau watu na kuumia vilivyonileta mahali hapa.
Ninapigana kuzingatia kubadilika kutoka kwa masomo yangu ya zamani, lakini wakati mwingine, ninakwama na siwezi kusonga mbele.
Nimezama tu katika giza la maumivu. Katika ukimya wa usiku, wakati utulivu unaweza kuwa viziwi, ndipo wakati mgumu zaidi.
Nikiwa peke yangu na mawazo yangu na sina chochote cha kuniepusha na giza zaidi ya kulala..ambayo inaweza kuwa ya kupita sana wakati mwingine. Ni ngumu sana kusahau, kuachilia na kuendelea..lakini ninajaribu. Ninajua kwamba ni lazima nifanye amani na maumivu yangu na kukabiliana na mapepo yangu ili kuwafanya malaika wangu waimbe- na najua hiyo haitakuwa rahisi au ya haraka.. lakini nimeazimia kuinuka kutoka kwa hasira na kutafuta yangu. njia ya kurudi kwenye nuru.
Kwa hivyo, ndio, labda nimevunjika, lakini sijavunjika sana kuanza tena na kuweka vipande vyangu pamoja kwa njia bora.
Mimi ni imara sasa kwa jinsi ya yale yote niliyopitia na moyo na roho vinaungana sasa, na nitaendelea kuinuka hadi nitakapoweza kuhisi furaha tena. Kushindwa haimaanishi kupotea, inamaanisha kuanza tena ..na ndivyo ninavyofanya. Inaweza isiwe kesho, wiki ijayo au mwezi ujao, lakini nitafika na nitasimama tena.. Njia moja au nyingine. Ninanyakua furaha yangu na siruhusu kwenda kwenye maumivu tena, kwenye sononi tena!
Kwa nafsi hii sasa, mimi ni imara na ninafanya maboresho mapya kila siku .. Kwakuwa sasa ni mimi. Haijalishi jinsi nitakavyoangushwa au kukwama tena..NIMEJIFUNZA NA KUHITIMU..! SIJAFELI MITIHANI YA MAISHA
It is at night when I lie in bed, without sleep I have lost my mind. This situation is very difficult.
My mind has countless ideas of what it was, what it will be and what it could be..and if these will happen again sometime.
I wish I hadn’t turned the endless possibilities and thought about the painful past, but that’s how my mind works.
I have been hurt so many times it is almost normal now and I have been broken so many times, I just want to forget how broken I was.
I try to embrace my flaws, mistakes and pain in order to be better, but it is very difficult to overcome the feelings that really want to bring me down.
All the emotions, thoughts and pain are mixed and I am constantly stuck between wanting to completely separate and trying to forget the people and the injury that brought me to this place.
I struggle to focus on change from my previous studies, but sometimes, I get stuck and I can’t move forward.
I am just immersed in the darkness of pain. In the silence of the night, when the silence can be deaf, then the most difficult time.
Alone with my thoughts and I have nothing to keep me from the darkness beyond sleep..which can be very passable sometimes. It's very hard to forget, let go and move on..but I try. I know I have to make peace with my pain and deal with my demons to get my angels to sing - and I know that will not be easy or quick .. but I am determined to rise from my anger and seek mine. way back to light.
So, yes, maybe I’m broken, but I’m not too broken to start again and put my pieces together in the best way.
I am strong now in how all that I have been through and heart and soul are now united, and I will continue to rise until I can feel happiness again. Failure does not mean losing, it means starting again..and that is what I do. It may not be tomorrow, next week or next month, but I will come and stand again .. One way or another. I grab my happiness and never let go of the pain anymore, the grief again!
With this soul now, I am strong and I am making new improvements every day .. For now it is me. It doesn't matter how I fall or get stuck again..I HAVE LEARNED AND GRADUATED ..! I HAVE NOT FAILED LIFE EXAMS
Akili yangu ina mawazo isitoshe ya kile kilichokuwa, kitakachokuwa na hata kile kinachoweza kuwa ..na kama haya yatajirudia wakati mwingine.
Natamani nisingegeuza uwezekano usio na mwisho na kufikiria juu ya siku za nyuma za kuumiza sana, lakini ndivyo akili yangu inavyofanya kazi.
Nimeumia mara nyingi sana inakaribia kuhisi kawaida sasa na nimekuwa nikivunjika mara nyingi, nataka tu kusahau jinsi nilivyovunjika.
Ninajaribu kukumbatia dosari zangu, makosa na maumivu ili kuwa bora, lakini ni vigumu sana kushinda hisia ambazo zinataka sana kunishusha.
Hisia zote, mawazo na maumivu huchanganyikana na nimekwama mara kwa mara kati ya kutaka kujitenga kabisa na kujaribu kusahau watu na kuumia vilivyonileta mahali hapa.
Ninapigana kuzingatia kubadilika kutoka kwa masomo yangu ya zamani, lakini wakati mwingine, ninakwama na siwezi kusonga mbele.
Nimezama tu katika giza la maumivu. Katika ukimya wa usiku, wakati utulivu unaweza kuwa viziwi, ndipo wakati mgumu zaidi.
Nikiwa peke yangu na mawazo yangu na sina chochote cha kuniepusha na giza zaidi ya kulala..ambayo inaweza kuwa ya kupita sana wakati mwingine. Ni ngumu sana kusahau, kuachilia na kuendelea..lakini ninajaribu. Ninajua kwamba ni lazima nifanye amani na maumivu yangu na kukabiliana na mapepo yangu ili kuwafanya malaika wangu waimbe- na najua hiyo haitakuwa rahisi au ya haraka.. lakini nimeazimia kuinuka kutoka kwa hasira na kutafuta yangu. njia ya kurudi kwenye nuru.
Kwa hivyo, ndio, labda nimevunjika, lakini sijavunjika sana kuanza tena na kuweka vipande vyangu pamoja kwa njia bora.
Mimi ni imara sasa kwa jinsi ya yale yote niliyopitia na moyo na roho vinaungana sasa, na nitaendelea kuinuka hadi nitakapoweza kuhisi furaha tena. Kushindwa haimaanishi kupotea, inamaanisha kuanza tena ..na ndivyo ninavyofanya. Inaweza isiwe kesho, wiki ijayo au mwezi ujao, lakini nitafika na nitasimama tena.. Njia moja au nyingine. Ninanyakua furaha yangu na siruhusu kwenda kwenye maumivu tena, kwenye sononi tena!
Kwa nafsi hii sasa, mimi ni imara na ninafanya maboresho mapya kila siku .. Kwakuwa sasa ni mimi. Haijalishi jinsi nitakavyoangushwa au kukwama tena..NIMEJIFUNZA NA KUHITIMU..! SIJAFELI MITIHANI YA MAISHA
It is at night when I lie in bed, without sleep I have lost my mind. This situation is very difficult.
My mind has countless ideas of what it was, what it will be and what it could be..and if these will happen again sometime.
I wish I hadn’t turned the endless possibilities and thought about the painful past, but that’s how my mind works.
I have been hurt so many times it is almost normal now and I have been broken so many times, I just want to forget how broken I was.
I try to embrace my flaws, mistakes and pain in order to be better, but it is very difficult to overcome the feelings that really want to bring me down.
All the emotions, thoughts and pain are mixed and I am constantly stuck between wanting to completely separate and trying to forget the people and the injury that brought me to this place.
I struggle to focus on change from my previous studies, but sometimes, I get stuck and I can’t move forward.
I am just immersed in the darkness of pain. In the silence of the night, when the silence can be deaf, then the most difficult time.
Alone with my thoughts and I have nothing to keep me from the darkness beyond sleep..which can be very passable sometimes. It's very hard to forget, let go and move on..but I try. I know I have to make peace with my pain and deal with my demons to get my angels to sing - and I know that will not be easy or quick .. but I am determined to rise from my anger and seek mine. way back to light.
So, yes, maybe I’m broken, but I’m not too broken to start again and put my pieces together in the best way.
I am strong now in how all that I have been through and heart and soul are now united, and I will continue to rise until I can feel happiness again. Failure does not mean losing, it means starting again..and that is what I do. It may not be tomorrow, next week or next month, but I will come and stand again .. One way or another. I grab my happiness and never let go of the pain anymore, the grief again!
With this soul now, I am strong and I am making new improvements every day .. For now it is me. It doesn't matter how I fall or get stuck again..I HAVE LEARNED AND GRADUATED ..! I HAVE NOT FAILED LIFE EXAMS
