Ndoa za zamani vs. sasa hivi

Tena, naona hatujaelewana. Kuvaa uanaume ni nini hasa? Umetoa mifano miiingi ambayo haiendani na tabia yangu. Tumepishana mbaali.
Nimeolewa, wote mimi na mume tuna degree, mimi nina kazi, yeye ana biashara, tuna mtoto mmoja, na nyumba. Ongezea hapo nimemzidi mwaka mmoja, ambayo automatically you will assume simheshimu au sijishushi. The fact is, I respect him and I respect his role as a man and my husband. Sitegemei aje kutupikia huku nimekunja nne, yeye kuingia kupika jikoni , let's say 25% of the time si jambo la ajabu. Akiwa na muda, anapenda kupikia familia yake, ni jambo kujivunia kama mwanamme, kuhudumia familia.

Anapeleka mtoto shule, mimi naenda kumfuata. Sometimes, kazi ni nyingi so anatunza mtoto mpaka ntakaporudi baadae. Chakula napika in advance, sometimes nikirudi nakuta amepika zaidi so we do not have to worry about it for the next few days. I RESPECT him more because he is willing to do what you would see as "kazi za kike". Mimi kuenda kazini ni "kazi za kiume"? He respects what I do, and I respect what he does in and outside the home.

Hebu jiulize ni kwanini jamii zinazoshikilia mila za kizamani/"sheria za mungu" ndizo zinazotesa wanawake na watoto? Kwanini nchi haziendelei, magonjwa kibao, ni uharo tu. Ni jeuri tu, kujiweka juu, as the chosen ones na kukataa kushirikiana na co-pilot wenu, ambae ni mwanamke. Kuwa msaidizi si kitu kibaya. Wewe ni kichwa, mwanamke ni shingo. ukiwa na shingo imara, you can take over the world. But instead, you choose to believe you are better alone.

Commanche said:

Wanawake mnapojaribu kuvaa u-anaume matokeo yake ni majanga. Hear me right dear; men will always be on top. Hii ni sheria ya Mungu. Haijalishi umesoma kiasi gani au una fedha na mali kiasi gani. Wanawake hamkuumbwa kuwakalia wanaume. Ninyi ni viumbe wasaidizi kwa mwanaume. Ndoa hazikai kwa kuwa ma-checksister wa siku hizi wengi wao ni much-know. Just because you are educated, you earn a decent income it doesn't mean you can do what you please. Angalia wadada wengi wanaodumu kwenye ndoa.Wengi wao hujishusha. Let me give you a piece of advice; ukitaka uheshimiwe na mwanaume, respect and pamper his ego.

Ukileta mashindano utaishia kuvunja ndoa yako na kuumia bure. Jamii haimuheshimu mwanamke aliyeachika kwa uzinzi au kiburi. Sio kwamba baba zetu walikuwa malaika, la hasha, ila mama zetu walikuwa na busara (not to say hawakufanya yao). Sasa nyie unagombana na mumeo kidogo ushapost status facebook "I'm done!!!I hate him!" he he he he unategemea utatunza ndoa hapo. Kutwa you are on social media flirting with other dudes and you expect your hubby to just "give you space" ha ha ha. Acheni u-magharibi wa kwenye soap za kifilipino. You end up ruining your lives, become bitter and worse yet psychologically *** up your kids.

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HoneyBee said:

Tena, naona hatujaelewana. Kuvaa uanaume ni nini hasa? Umetoa mifano miiingi ambayo haiendani na tabia yangu. Tumepishana mbaali.
Nimeolewa, wote mimi na mume tuna degree, mimi nina kazi, yeye ana biashara, tuna mtoto mmoja, na nyumba. Ongezea hapo nimemzidi mwaka mmoja, ambayo automatically you will assume simheshimu au sijishushi. The fact is, I respect him and I respect his role as a man and my husband. Sitegemei aje kutupikia huku nimekunja nne, yeye kuingia kupika jikoni , let's say 25% of the time si jambo la ajabu. Akiwa na muda, anapenda kupikia familia yake, ni jambo kujivunia kama mwanamme, kuhudumia familia.

Anapeleka mtoto shule, mimi naenda kumfuata. Sometimes, kazi ni nyingi so anatunza mtoto mpaka ntakaporudi baadae. Chakula napika in advance, sometimes nikirudi nakuta amepika zaidi so we do not have to worry about it for the next few days. I RESPECT him more because he is willing to do what you would see as "kazi za kike". Mimi kuenda kazini ni "kazi za kiume"? He respects what I do, and I respect what he does in and outside the home.

Hebu jiulize ni kwanini jamii zinazoshikilia mila za kizamani/"sheria za mungu" ndizo zinazotesa wanawake na watoto? Kwanini nchi haziendelei, magonjwa kibao, ni uharo tu. Ni jeuri tu, kujiweka juu, as the chosen ones na kukataa kushirikiana na co-pilot wenu, ambae ni mwanamke. Kuwa msaidizi si kitu kibaya. Wewe ni kichwa, mwanamke ni shingo. ukiwa na shingo imara, you can take over the world. But instead, you choose to believe you are better alone.

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Ni vema kama unamheshimu mume wako na baba wa mtoto wako namna hiyo. Then you don't have to whine about your role as a woman coz it looks like the dude has got everything on lock down. Endelea kufanya hivyo hutapata tabu. But let me disagree with you na hii statement yako highlighted in red. Huko magharibi the marriage institution has lost meaning. Ndoa hazidumu kwa kuwa wanawake wamewakalia kichwani wanaume. Huo uharo unaoungelea ndio unafanya ndoa nyingi za Afrika zikadumu ukiondoa za wachache wenye mawazo kama ya kwako. Nakushauri kwa mara nyingine tena kuwa usiige mambo ya magharibi kwani wao ndoa ni kama kununua gari. Wamagharibi hawana hofu ya Mungu tena, kuoa na kuacha, kuchoropoa mimba vimehalalishwa na kitu cha kawaida sana (not to say havifanyiki hapa kwetu ila ni kwa siri). Kiburi wanachoonyesha wadada wasomi vijana ndio sababu kubwa ya ndoa za siku hizi kuvunjika within the first 5 years (wengine hata one year hawafiki). Know your role as an African woman, rid yourself of these plastic western Godless values halafu uone kama ndoa yako itatetereka. Achana na kina Beyonce sijui Kim K and all those chickenheads.

saiv nimekuwa mvivu kureply sijui kwanin

HoneyBee said:

Naomba kuuliza, zawadi kwa mwanamme kwa mwanamke ni nini? Je, utajuaje kuwa mwanamme ni bikra ukizingatia hana hymen? Bikra ina politics zake, sababu jamii zingine inaonekana kero, na zingine ziinasema inaleta heshima kwa mwanamke na familia yake. Inafika wakati wanawake wanaweza kuuawa wakikutwa hawana bikra, ndio hizo biashara za kichina zinakuja kuokoa maisha ya mwanamke. Yaani, hadhi yako inapimwa kwa kuwepo au kutokuwepo kwa kanyama kwenye uke?? Imagine! Na wengine hawazaliwi nayo, au inaweza kutoka kwa kufanyishwa kazi ngumu, kuendesha baiskeli n.k. Fikiria ni wanawake wangapi wameuawa or kurudishwa kwa wazazi kisa hawakuvuja damu baada ya tendo . Ni uonevu wa ajabu.

Karne hii wanawake wanatakiwa kuheshimiwa kwa kilichopo kati kati ya masikio (ubongo) na si kati kati ya mapaja. Narudia, ,sisemi bikra haina haja, bali nauliza kwanini umtunzie bikra mwanamme ambae hatakuheshimu baade? Inatakiwa mwanamme akuheshimu whether or not you have it. Huyo ndie anaekufaa.Mwanamme pekee ambae ana haki ya kudai mke wake awe bikra mpaka wafunge ndoa ni mwanamme bikra. Full stop.

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HoneyBee;
Mbona ukali dada! Loh! Kama dubu aliyejeruhiwa. Nasema, Hishima ya mwanamke nid Bikra kwa mumewe. Afungue mwenyewe mlango huo. Atakuhishimu. Hata ukimkumbusha hiyo hishima ulio mtunzia atasita kukuhadaa.
Nasema kwa wale tu wanaotaka kuoana si kwa wale wanaotaka ku do na kuachana. Wenyewe wanasema ati ni kwa bahati tu. Love on the first site. Huo ni ukanjanja. Kama unataka kuhishimiwa mdada, tunza hiyo kituuuu. Kwako ni kidogo saana lakini kwa mwenye kujua maana yake, tunza sana mwanangu kama chongo anavyotunza jicho lake moja.
Bikra si tuu ule utepe bali hata maneno yako yatakuumbua tuuu, maziwa yeshakuwa saa 8 weye wapi na wapi?? Hata ile ball katikati ya maziwa ishamalizika we upo hapooo?
Sema usemalo, lakini mdada kujitunza ni hishima mnooo. Hakuna cha zamani wala kisiku hizi. Jitunze tu mdada utapendwa na mmeo.