Mimi ni mwanamke niliyeolewa na nina mda wa miezi nane sasa katika ndoa. Huyu bwana tuliyeona kwa kweli niliunganishiwa na ndugu yangu ambaye alikuwa rafiki yake hapo zamani. So it means I dont know his behaviours in real. He is also a divorced man with two children but the children leave with there mother.
What I want a help is that i dont know if he really love me or he also just wanted to have a wife and that`s it. Am saying this because he is not romantic to me and he has become less active in sex than the first months just after we got married. When i ask him, he says that he is tired coz of work. Other thing is that he is not open to me about his whereabouts. I love the man but he is not giving me the same love. What should I do, please advice.
Angekufanya wewe mke tu ingekuwa nafuu. I think he just does not want to live by himself and die alone. Obviously he has a life, do you?
Mumeo ana maoni gani kuhusu watoto ambao wako kwa ex-wife?
The man was a my uncle, I knew everything and accepted the whole situation. Because i also did an investigation me and my family before marriage to see what really happened for that divorce! We came to realise that the woman had some problems (she was moving out with other man!).
Do you still think the woman had problems?
Ukafanya investigation kujua ndoa yake ilikuwaje - ila ukaamua kutofanya investigation kujua kama huyu mtu anakufaa.
Uliingiaje kwenye mkataba wa ndoa wiki moja tu baada ya kukutana naye?
Ni muda gani toka mlipo fahamiana mpaka mlipo oana?
Kwa kweli ni mda kama five months but in email and phone only.
Muda gani toka mmekutana hadi siku ya ndoa?
Na mjomba naye akatoa baraka zake.
Nahisi kuna mambo ulishauriwa na ndugu zako ila hukusikiliza la mtu. Sijui mlikutana huko abroad au alikuja kukubeba huku Bongo?
And may be to have some advice also in these; Before marriage he told me he has a share in a company with his friend when i came in I discovered it was all lies(kamba). He promised so many things but he has never full filled (Going out for dinner, cinema, doing me my birthday etc) any of them. When I ask him he is like "will go". So am just patiently waiting for the day! During any conversation with me anakuwa amenuna kweli but he receive a call from his friends he smiles alot. Therefore I discovered it is like am holding him home while he was like to be somewhere with his friends. May I have some ideas in this too.
Hukuchunguza sana, labda ndio maana mwenzako alieachika alikuwa anapiga misele nje.
Inawezekana kabisa kwamba moja ya sababu huyo mwanamke alimkimbia ni baada ya kukosa physical intimacy. Wewe hata hiyo emotional intimacy hupewi.
...jitahidi kuwa mbunifu kwenye 'udugu wenu wa shuka' na kuongeza 'kalufundi' kwenye mambo ya unyumba kwa ujumla, hatotoka tena nyumbani bila sababu za msingi...!
Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.
Hata simba jike hayuko hivyo, yaani dalili tu? Moja ya sex fantasy zake umeipiga stop kubwa; jaribu basi kudadisi fantasy zake nyingine. Jinsi hali ilivyo, I don't think your sex life will get any better, labda uende ziwani. Unaonaje wewe na yeye mkaenda kwa marriage counselor.
Ikiwa umewahi kuwa na mwanaume au wanaume wengine, how does your hubby differ from them
sexually? Have you noticed anything abnormal? Anything, however small.
For sure I can say he differs in a big percentage. I have never met such a difficult man.
Comment yako ingesaidia kama ungeeleza details. Hata hivyo, ikiwa atakuridhisha kikamilifu mpaka ukapiga ukunga, je, hiki ndicho kitu pekee unachohitaji?
Ok tomoro will be a birthday of one of his Mens friend. He has decided to take one day off from his leave day! Can u imagine how other outhouse things can make him happy! So, I wanted to damp him and let him go alone. What do you advice me felas.
Umefikiria kunufaika vipi hapo? Kwa nini usifanye kinyume chake, ukifika uwachangamkie waalikwa katika mazungumzo. Show that you enjoy having conversation with them. Laugh when they make jokes.
Vyote hivyo QM nimefanya kabla ya kuja humu ukumbini. Simu nilishajifanyisha tena nilimwambia dadangu ambaye naye yuko huku overseas anipigie, sema nilienda kujifungia chumbani ndo nikaongelea huko ilikuwa mida ya 12jioni, usiku ndo sijawahi kufanya hivyo. Kurudi nimechelewa nimeshafanya mara mbili.... but he does not question anything, he is just quiet. Pengine nipe mbinu mbadala.
Asante kwa mchango wako.
Don't fake it, he is not a teenager!
It is time you use some unorthodox means. Wewe ni mama wa nyumbani? Kama ni hivyo ukatafute kazi, huko tafuta rafiki wa kiume msiyepishana sana umri (the younger the better). Awe karibu nawe hasa unapokuwa frustrated - sharing talks and stuff (you don't have to f**k him). You will see magic with your very own eyes, just don't rush things. Life can be so meaningless if you have no one to bond with. Talk to your sister about this idea and find out what she think.
Unorthodox - different from what is usual or expected in behaviour, ideas, methods, etc.
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