Life classic definitions

[Jewel]

[TABLE="class: yiv834363806MsoNormalTable"]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Cigarette

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Marriage

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Divorce

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Future tense of marriage

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Lecture

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Conference

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Compromise

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Tears

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Dictionary

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where divorce comes before marriage.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Conference Room

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Ecstasy

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Classic

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A book which people praise, but do not read.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Smile

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A curve that can set a lot of things straight

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Office

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Yawn

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Etc...

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Committee

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Experience

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The name men give to their mistakes.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Atom Bomb

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]An invention to end all inventions.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Philosopher

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Diplomat

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Opportunist

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Optimist

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Pessimist

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Miser

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Father

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A banker provided by nature.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Criminal

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A guy who is no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Boss

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Politician

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence afterwards.

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Doctor

[/TD]
[TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]