By Dr. Phoenyx Austin 1. Facebook Stalk Facebook has truly taken ex-stalking to a whole new level. And while I understand the temptation to peek at an exs profile from time to time, I still dont think its very healthy to keep up with what an ex is doing. If youre truly focused on moving on, then you shouldnt care what theyre doing on Facebook. After a breakup, all your energy should be focused on you- not what your ex is doing on Facebook or in real life. 2. Keep Contact Ok, this isnt an absolute no-no. Sometimes women ask questions like: Should I call my ex for Christmas or his birthday? And here are my thoughts when it comes to contacting exes: If an ex was respectful during the relationship, then I think maintaining contact with them is ok. But if they werent completely respectful of you during the relationship, then I advise completely severing ties. Thats how I handle things. There are exes I still talk to, and exes that get absolutely no acknowledgement. My time is valuable. And I dont contact exes that proved themselves unworthy of my time. 3. Beg them to come back Begging an ex to come back is NEVER a good look. Period. 4. Engage in Ex-Sex In the long term, continuing to sleep with an ex isnt a good idea. Why? Some people believe that allowing your ex to get no strings attached sex will ultimately make you look bad in his eyes. But I think that continuing to sleep with an ex is ultimately just a waste of your valuable time. Basically, the time youre laid up with him is time that you could be out living your life and dating other guys. And all the time youre wasting having limited, meaningless sex with your ex, is actually time that you could be using to establish a great relationship with a man who will want to make love to you for a lifetime. 5. Get Violent I know get back is tempting. But dont become so consumed with anger, that you get physical or violent. Dont do things like threaten him or damage his property. In the heat of the moment, it may be tempting to hit him, or put your foot through his big screen tv or key his car- but its not worth it. Now if you actually bought him that tv or car, thats another story But still, its wise to get get back in other ways besides violence. Violence just makes you vulnerable to other means of attack and even legal action. 6. Lose Faith While its ok to give yourself a brief pity party after a breakup, its important not to lose faith. No matter how youre feeling, you need to continue living your life and finding joy in your existence. Exercise mind over matter, and act as if. What do I mean by act as if? I mean, act as if youre happy. Everyday find a reason, any reason to smile. Tell yourself on a daily basis that everything will be ok. And if you continually tell yourself something, you will start to believe it. The mind is very powerful, and you can make your thoughts reality. 7. Become hateful Being bitter and hateful after a breakup is never a good look. Its poisonous and just makes the healing process more difficult. Sure, its normal to be upset. But dont let your anger push you into embitterment or hatefulness. Being hateful just means you arent over things. And interestingly enough, most people actually think the opposite of love is hate. So they think that hating their ex, means theyve accomplished something. But thats not true. Because, the opposite of love is actually indifference- not hate. It takes just as much energy to hate someone as it takes to love someone- but it doesnt take any energy to not care about someone.