A fellow talking to his friend says, "How can I tell if my girl is a virgin ?" Friend tells him, "You have to wait till your wedding night, you show it to her and ask what it is. If she calls it a penis, she's a virgin. If she says it's a cock, she's been around." So the guy gets married, and in the hotel room he flips it out to her and says "What is this?" "That's a penis!" she replies. "Great," he sighs, "I thought you were going to call it a cock." "Of course not! A cock is twice as big!!"