Hello guys,
First of all,ningependa kumshukuru Mungu kwa yote anayozidi kunitendea in my whole life since i was born. Na nimeamua kuja hapa sababu najiona kamae I'm alone in this word and maybe you guys wakubwa kwa wadogo wazee kwa vijana mtakuwa na lolote la kunishauri.
Natanguliza shukran kwa wote mtaopitia this thread and may God use all of you kunishauri cas nmekua na ndoto nyingi but now is like I'm nothing in this word.
I have a long story to tell but naona itaniumiza cas maisha nlopitia after my father died God knows. Ila now I'm trying to accept who i am now. (some says is true HIV Exists and others says is a hoax) but to me i see it like true maybe nathani wale ambao ni +ve like me wataelewa what am i talking about. Is very hard for me to believe but is like this:-(
Mimi ni kijana now I'm 22 yrs old na mpaka ninapoandika hivi my mother hajui if i have HIV and she still have so many hope on me cas hakubahatika kusoma but alinisomesha tena shule za ghalama tu kwa biashara zake ndogo ndogo na niafanikiwa kumaliza form 6 though nikapata temporally job here in Dar kwenye kampuni moja hivi nikaona let me work first and after getting money nijiendeleze cas my mom ni kama hali imekuwa ngumu kidogo kwake and alifurahi sana na kuniombea Mungu maana nilianza kumsaidia nae hata viela kidogo vya matumizi akiwa na shida I'm the only person anaweza mpigia akiamini tamsaidia and i always do that hata leo nimetoka kuongea nae na yeye anafurahi sana ila hajajua mimi nina huzuni kuu na nilikuwa natoa machozi wakati naongea nae japo sikutaka ajue if nalia ye yuko mkoani so nkifikiria siku atayojua sijui itakuaje. Though I'm planning not to tell her ever.
Niliumwa nikiwa at work ghafla tu kichwa and nikawa sijielewi but nikajua it will be Maralia so i took medicine (panadol) kutuliza mauvivu then badala ya kupata nafuu hali ilikuwa mbaya and it was just in few moment that happened so cas it was late nikaondoka nikaenda kwangu ninapoishi but all i was thinking was just maralia cas i don't use mosquito net.
Then next day nikaenda hospital kubwa tu down town nikapima and the result comes that ni maralia so i went back home nikiwa na dawa nilizopewa hospital but hali ilizidi kuwa mbaya nikawa siwezi hata kusimama jioni and naishi alone so nikamcontact my friend (she is just like my sister to me cas she is all i ahave in Dar) so nikaenda kwake that night but hali ikawa mbaya sana sana.
Kila nikinywa dawa hali inakuwa mbaya mpaka tukahisi maybe dawa walizonipa zina side effects mbaya sana. So next day jion hivi nikarudi hospital na nilipofika nikawaeleza and nikapata vipimo tena then this time doctor akasema mbona huna maralia ila una UTI na typhord.
Nikapewa dozi nikarudi but that night nilipokunywa dawa nilihisi I'm gonna die cas nilizidiwa mara mbili ya mwanzo so next day early in the morning nikarudi hospital and nilikua nakohoa sana sana mwili hauna nguvu so nikalazwa kabisa.
Nikatundikiw dripu nikapew na dawa but next day nikapata nafuu and i was like what happened i asked nesi wa pale hospital hakunijbu ila aliuliza kama nina ndugu Dar and i said no i have friends only na akaniuliza how i live nikamwambia.
She was so sad but nikajua ni nesi so ananionea huruma nnavo umwa. Next day nikawa ok and nikapew bili yangu ambayo ilikuwa kubwa kidogo kama mnavojua private hospitals. But sikujua naumwa nini and ile nataka kuondoka doctor akaniita ofisini kwake. And he asked me so many questions.
But i will never forget that in a simple way he told me now wewe ni muathirika wa VVU. Guys it was a bad moment ever in my life. And mimi nipo naugulia namuona as he is clrzy telling me such thing yeye akaanza kuniambia so inabidi uanze kutumia dawa. Siwezi kuelezea how i was that time but situation hio sitaisahau nililia kama mtoto mdogo but doctor didnt care na akanipeleka kwenye system yao ya watu wa HIV.
Niliona dunia yote imeniangukia nimetoka hapo kila niliemuona barabarani niliona sifanani nae. The question was where did i get this thing? Nkiangalia zile ARV nlizopew nilikuw nalia. Nilipewa pia dozi ya typhoid so nimefka home nikamwambia sister is just typhoid. Hakuweza kuja kunichukua hospital cas ya nature ya kazi yake na mda.
Guys until now sijamueleza mtu this issue but nikaemda 3 different hospitals kupma cas sikuamini but the answer was im HIV +. Nililia na kutaka kuacha hat kwenda kazini but nikajifikiria nikasema ok i will go. Nimeenda job kila niliemuona nilihisi anajua that nimeathirika.
Nilikuwa na hasira za ajabu na nilizima simu wiki nzima na sikuwa nalala usiku vizuri. But nikaanza kutumia dawa zile ARV. Naomba nisiendelee zaidi but sitasahau those days ever in my life. And trust me we have poor doctors in Tz (some not all) cas isingekuwa Mungu ningejiua trust me cas no doctor aliekuwa ananipa ushauri zaidi ya bla bla bla.
Ok back to the topic. Ndugu zangu nilikuwa nimeplan a lot of things but nimekata tamaa kabisa kabisa na najiona sio mtu tena.
Naomba ushauri wenu katika yafuatayo;
(1) nilikuwa nimeplan kwenda USA au Canada kutafta maisha kwa njia ya kusoma kwanza. But some people kwenye mtandao wanasema MTU mwenye HIV hawakubari katika nnchi hizo. Guys is it true? Because if is true I'm going to die soon kwa presha cas ni ndoto nilizokuwa nazo since niko mdogo sana.
Naomba niishie hapa cas i cant write anymore inaniuma sana guys.
Why world is not fare like this? Everyday I'm trying to figure out nimepata wapi huu ugonjwa but i don't get the answer. But all in all if naweza kupona please advise me how hata kama kuna madaktari wanaitaj mtu wamfanyie experiment here i am. Nchi yeyote.
Guys usiombe yakukute please stay safe always na usimcheke alienao cas you never know like i dont know nlikoupata. Nimekua wa kulia everyday I'm like God mbona umeniacha. But i hope tapona guys i hope one day takuwa ushuhuda kwa dunia in Jesus name Amen.
If una ushauri au maoni please unaweza kuja inbox. Sorry for long story but mengine nitaeleza ndani ya thread.
Thank you for reading this.
First of all,ningependa kumshukuru Mungu kwa yote anayozidi kunitendea in my whole life since i was born. Na nimeamua kuja hapa sababu najiona kamae I'm alone in this word and maybe you guys wakubwa kwa wadogo wazee kwa vijana mtakuwa na lolote la kunishauri.
Natanguliza shukran kwa wote mtaopitia this thread and may God use all of you kunishauri cas nmekua na ndoto nyingi but now is like I'm nothing in this word.
I have a long story to tell but naona itaniumiza cas maisha nlopitia after my father died God knows. Ila now I'm trying to accept who i am now. (some says is true HIV Exists and others says is a hoax) but to me i see it like true maybe nathani wale ambao ni +ve like me wataelewa what am i talking about. Is very hard for me to believe but is like this:-(
Mimi ni kijana now I'm 22 yrs old na mpaka ninapoandika hivi my mother hajui if i have HIV and she still have so many hope on me cas hakubahatika kusoma but alinisomesha tena shule za ghalama tu kwa biashara zake ndogo ndogo na niafanikiwa kumaliza form 6 though nikapata temporally job here in Dar kwenye kampuni moja hivi nikaona let me work first and after getting money nijiendeleze cas my mom ni kama hali imekuwa ngumu kidogo kwake and alifurahi sana na kuniombea Mungu maana nilianza kumsaidia nae hata viela kidogo vya matumizi akiwa na shida I'm the only person anaweza mpigia akiamini tamsaidia and i always do that hata leo nimetoka kuongea nae na yeye anafurahi sana ila hajajua mimi nina huzuni kuu na nilikuwa natoa machozi wakati naongea nae japo sikutaka ajue if nalia ye yuko mkoani so nkifikiria siku atayojua sijui itakuaje. Though I'm planning not to tell her ever.
Niliumwa nikiwa at work ghafla tu kichwa and nikawa sijielewi but nikajua it will be Maralia so i took medicine (panadol) kutuliza mauvivu then badala ya kupata nafuu hali ilikuwa mbaya and it was just in few moment that happened so cas it was late nikaondoka nikaenda kwangu ninapoishi but all i was thinking was just maralia cas i don't use mosquito net.
Then next day nikaenda hospital kubwa tu down town nikapima and the result comes that ni maralia so i went back home nikiwa na dawa nilizopewa hospital but hali ilizidi kuwa mbaya nikawa siwezi hata kusimama jioni and naishi alone so nikamcontact my friend (she is just like my sister to me cas she is all i ahave in Dar) so nikaenda kwake that night but hali ikawa mbaya sana sana.
Kila nikinywa dawa hali inakuwa mbaya mpaka tukahisi maybe dawa walizonipa zina side effects mbaya sana. So next day jion hivi nikarudi hospital na nilipofika nikawaeleza and nikapata vipimo tena then this time doctor akasema mbona huna maralia ila una UTI na typhord.
Nikapewa dozi nikarudi but that night nilipokunywa dawa nilihisi I'm gonna die cas nilizidiwa mara mbili ya mwanzo so next day early in the morning nikarudi hospital and nilikua nakohoa sana sana mwili hauna nguvu so nikalazwa kabisa.
Nikatundikiw dripu nikapew na dawa but next day nikapata nafuu and i was like what happened i asked nesi wa pale hospital hakunijbu ila aliuliza kama nina ndugu Dar and i said no i have friends only na akaniuliza how i live nikamwambia.
She was so sad but nikajua ni nesi so ananionea huruma nnavo umwa. Next day nikawa ok and nikapew bili yangu ambayo ilikuwa kubwa kidogo kama mnavojua private hospitals. But sikujua naumwa nini and ile nataka kuondoka doctor akaniita ofisini kwake. And he asked me so many questions.
But i will never forget that in a simple way he told me now wewe ni muathirika wa VVU. Guys it was a bad moment ever in my life. And mimi nipo naugulia namuona as he is clrzy telling me such thing yeye akaanza kuniambia so inabidi uanze kutumia dawa. Siwezi kuelezea how i was that time but situation hio sitaisahau nililia kama mtoto mdogo but doctor didnt care na akanipeleka kwenye system yao ya watu wa HIV.
Niliona dunia yote imeniangukia nimetoka hapo kila niliemuona barabarani niliona sifanani nae. The question was where did i get this thing? Nkiangalia zile ARV nlizopew nilikuw nalia. Nilipewa pia dozi ya typhoid so nimefka home nikamwambia sister is just typhoid. Hakuweza kuja kunichukua hospital cas ya nature ya kazi yake na mda.
Guys until now sijamueleza mtu this issue but nikaemda 3 different hospitals kupma cas sikuamini but the answer was im HIV +. Nililia na kutaka kuacha hat kwenda kazini but nikajifikiria nikasema ok i will go. Nimeenda job kila niliemuona nilihisi anajua that nimeathirika.
Nilikuwa na hasira za ajabu na nilizima simu wiki nzima na sikuwa nalala usiku vizuri. But nikaanza kutumia dawa zile ARV. Naomba nisiendelee zaidi but sitasahau those days ever in my life. And trust me we have poor doctors in Tz (some not all) cas isingekuwa Mungu ningejiua trust me cas no doctor aliekuwa ananipa ushauri zaidi ya bla bla bla.
Ok back to the topic. Ndugu zangu nilikuwa nimeplan a lot of things but nimekata tamaa kabisa kabisa na najiona sio mtu tena.
Naomba ushauri wenu katika yafuatayo;
(1) nilikuwa nimeplan kwenda USA au Canada kutafta maisha kwa njia ya kusoma kwanza. But some people kwenye mtandao wanasema MTU mwenye HIV hawakubari katika nnchi hizo. Guys is it true? Because if is true I'm going to die soon kwa presha cas ni ndoto nilizokuwa nazo since niko mdogo sana.
Naomba niishie hapa cas i cant write anymore inaniuma sana guys.
Why world is not fare like this? Everyday I'm trying to figure out nimepata wapi huu ugonjwa but i don't get the answer. But all in all if naweza kupona please advise me how hata kama kuna madaktari wanaitaj mtu wamfanyie experiment here i am. Nchi yeyote.
Guys usiombe yakukute please stay safe always na usimcheke alienao cas you never know like i dont know nlikoupata. Nimekua wa kulia everyday I'm like God mbona umeniacha. But i hope tapona guys i hope one day takuwa ushuhuda kwa dunia in Jesus name Amen.
If una ushauri au maoni please unaweza kuja inbox. Sorry for long story but mengine nitaeleza ndani ya thread.
Thank you for reading this.
