Telephone Conversations with helpdesk Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... ==== Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left ? ==== Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill Gates damn it ! ==== Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ==== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ? Customer: What colour. it's grey. ==== Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. ==== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ? Customer: Yes 30 paces back Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in and it's wireless. Customer: Yes, i guess so cause there are no wires around it ! Helpdesk: do you have a bluetooth. Customer: Well mr.helpdesk is this the way they teach you to tease customers. Helpdesk: No, just trying to do my job Customer: Ok then go ask the dentist and not me. ==== Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ==== A customer couldn't get on the internet. Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ? Customer: Five stars. ==== Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ==== Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ? Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ? Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ? ==== Helpdesk: How may I help you ? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ? Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ? ==== Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ? Customer: Good afternoon! I cannot see any icons on the screen Helpdesk: Okay just write click Customerkay Helpdesk: Okay what is showing on the screen Customer: Nothing same as before Helpdesk: Okay write click again Customer: nothing shows or should i write something else instead of 'click'