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Have...........funny ...advertisment 4 a wife

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by piper, Feb 17, 2012.

  1. piper

    piper JF-Expert Member

    Feb 17, 2012
    Joined: Jan 17, 2012
    Messages: 3,260
    Likes Received: 9
    Trophy Points: 135

    Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
    Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

    Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
    article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
    now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
    Has own house, car and successful career!

    I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are
    high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy
    a burden upon the national interest.

    Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
    and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
    my family unit.

    Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of
    my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the
    injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
    Compatibility could be an issue.

    Wife wanted for company.

    I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to
    harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences
    and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share
    our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social
    responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
    society..... ......... ... (etc etc and never getting to the point)

    Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
    excellent working condition.

    Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.

    I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
    post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
    be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
    evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
    willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e.
    Myself. Any objections would be overruled a! nd will not be
    sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
    and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.

    Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
    applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
    feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul.
    And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

    Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her

    Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi
    shooda ho jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka.......... ..... joh
    kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ....... Kyoon key yaroo ub
    khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.

    Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures.
    She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very
    nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as
    possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit
    to her family.

    Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
    factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends
    come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl
    preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a
    bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

    Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from x-
    ud,erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
    necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.

    Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be
    homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

    I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if
    you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

    My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
    applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
    dares wins. Camouflage provided.

    A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
    able to keep pace!

    I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
    share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
  2. egbert44

    egbert44 JF-Expert Member

    Feb 17, 2012
    Joined: Mar 17, 2006
    Messages: 361
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 35
    this shows the same word can be wrapped in any how depending on one's carrier, but i hate politician's way of approach. Thanks though!!!