''Dilemma'' My Short Love Story read then give advice.

Meneja Wa Makampuni

JF-Expert Member
Jul 7, 2020
My name is Jovin, and I am 30 years old. Please read my true story and then advise me.

In search for my life, I moved to Iringa Region from Dar es Salaam Region; I have no mother or father; I rely on my relatives, who look at me as a help to them, but I am blessed to have friends who listen to me, care for me, and advise me well in achieving my goals.

When I arrived in the Iringa region, I managed to open a shop selling DVD, VCD, CD, FLASH, and MEMORCARD at retail and wholesale prices while providing the service of putting music and movies in their devices at a low cost. My shop was directly across the street from one that sold groceries at both retail and wholesale prices. That shop was being served by a prettier girl named Ashura. Her brothers opened that shop so that she could meet her needs in later life after their parents died in the Tanga region.

It was not easy for me to be convinced in a relationship because everyone who was advising me about the search for life urged me not to give priority to love, but feelings of love happen automatically, so I found myself starting to be attracted to Ashura and found her completely within my heart.

I did not rush to explain about my feelings to her, but as the days went by, the water got deeper, so I thought it would be good to tell Ashura my feelings about her. And I wasn't too far from her thoughts because she was also looking at me romantically, like she was rejecting many young men who needed to move toward her romantically.

Ashura is a Ziguan girl with a high level of respect, from her clothes to her statements in the community around her. This girl is also very different! I say different because soon after starting a relationship with her, she tried her best to advise me to build myself in life rather than love. That is, love for us occupied a very small space. The understanding between us matured until we reached the point of opening an NMB bank account, where we made sure we saved 20 thousand Tanzanian every day!

When I needed love, Ashura gave it to me, and she was not careless because the entertainment I got was something I had never had before. Life for me was very easy because I found the kind of woman I needed.

One day, while I was at home in the room I was renting, a friend who was involved in health matters passed by to greet me, and he had an HIV test in his hand; I asked him to test me, and he did not hesitate. I was also relieved to see that I was safe, but I asked my friend to come by tomorrow afternoon, and we will test together with his sister-in-law!

The next day in the afternoon, my friend passed by, and he was lucky enough to see me with his sister-in-law, even though I had not informed Ashura. She agreed to take the test, but she did not delay because she was urgently needed at the shop by his brother, so she told me to take the results and then I would inform her, but I did not want to believe it immediately after the results showed that Ashura was a victim, so I hid her answers upstairs! I searched the other day and called my friend, and he tested me and Ashura together again, but she still seemed to be a victim, and we didn't make it clear to her either until she came to see the change in me not paying attention to her in a relationship. When she asked about my change, I didn't hide it from her; I needed to make it clear to Ashura that she has HIV!

She didn't believe me even when I showed her the samples of his HIV test results, so she held my hand until the laboratory and we tested together, but it still showed that Ashura is a victim and I am safe if I have already had sexual intercourse with her more than three times. I thought about it, but I didn't get any answers about the transmission of the infection to my girlfriend, whom I am looking at as my future wife. Her relatives thanked me for letting them know about it because it's not just Ashura; even they showed that they didn't know about it before, and they let me be free to make any decisions because they were recognizing our relationship!

Ashura cries every time he sees me because I have already shown signs of avoiding her; it wasn't just for me, but even in front of his brothers, Ashura threatened to commit suicide more than four times when I wanted to leave her, and she has promised to be ready to prepare his funeral if I try to leave him in any way because she doesn't see the benefit of living without me because she still loves me and needs me a lot. She also doesn't understand how this infection reached her, but since it happened, she has to deal with it!

Even now, I love her. I remember the contribution of her thoughts to making progress in my life. I also remember the contribution of her money when I was stuck, but I am afraid of hindering my dreams while I have relatives who depend on me when I live with this infection. At the moment, I'm planning to quietly leave Iringa and start a new life somewhere else without telling Ashura so that I can avoid her. But I also fear for her life because she said if I try to leave her in any way, then me and his brothers should prepare Ashura's funeral!

I ask for advice my friends. What should I do?

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