A letter to my future lover

A letter to my future lover

Thatdumbgirl said:
You see, the difference between me and you is that, my life is an ever ending adventure. Do not think everyone at thirty is busy hunting for spouses, some of us will have more interesting goals to pursue.
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You really seem intelligent. Fingers crossed
 
Thatdumbgirl said:
Refer to the heading above, I joined JF with the intention to look for a male lover and partner with the following specifications ( Nimejiunga JF kutafuta mpenzi wa kiume mwenye vigezo vifuatavyo) in hopes to start a productive intimate relationship:

1. Height/Urefu: Taller than me(mrefu kuliko Mimi) I am 163cm.

2. BMI: Normal to a overweight I don't mind. Not underweight or obese. I normally range around normal to overweight too. I can say I'm kind of thick and there are activities I'll be doing with my future partner which do not require the disqualified characteristics.

3. Ethnicity: A Brown skinned African man preferably a Tanzanian from any tribe will be highly prioritised. I am a dark skinned Tanzanian woman. I won't mind a white or hispanic man, although I'm skeptical about them being in JF

4. Hygiene and general appearance: A clean man who can take care of his body eg. shaving pubes, nice hair style, well groomed nails, cleans teeth and tongue,nice scent. Also a man who is well dressed depending on the occasion.
He should be able to take care of himself and his stuff I mean, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and so on.

5. Health: HIV negative, STIs/STDs negative, Vaccinated against hepatitis.

6. Proximity: A man who lives in Arusha or Kilimanjaro is preferred. If he lives in other regions its also okay, we could see where it goes. I find the idea of long distance relationship impractical.

7. Education: Degree and above. I'm still pursuing my degree.

8. Age: 27-33. I'm 23 y/o. The age range I chose is strictly based on biological reasons more than intellectual. I'm a strong believer that Intellectual maturity isn't age related.

9. Language of use: English or Swahili. English preferably, because I use it to communicate most of the times. Despite that, I'm not very fluent in either. But I do prefer good grammar in both languages. If written please use full form words, do not write vp, mrn, nyt,niaj...PLEASE DON'T! because at this point I won't care if you have a degree or you're LeBron James tall.

10. Intelligence: If you know that you are smart then we can get along. Let's talk about Jesse Ventura and his conspiracy theories and debate why cannabis should or shouldn't be legalized .

11. Good communication skills and emotional intelligence: Read that again.
This is the point of return. If you know you lack the ability to communicate well, explain your emotions like a rational human being, this is the point you stop reading this post.

Because of poor communication and lack of emotional intelligence some men act like jerks, revealing stupid traits like unnecessary jealousy and possessiveness. Mistaking them for love or care. Or some could waste my time because they can't explain what they want exactly.

Please be straight forward and emotional mature. Everyone has been a victim of something so please find a proper way to deal with it or communicate with me if possible but please don't throw a pity party. Playing a victim of heartbreak or childhood trauma and use it to waste my time is a bad bad idea.
If you are not ready just stop right here.

12. Habits: Please don't be a drunkard or extreme smoker. None to moderate is a motto for me when it comes to risky habits.

13. Behaviour: Respectful, Mature, Selflessness, good manners in general. Saying so doesn't mean you should be boring and obvious.

14. Relationship type: I prefer a monogamous relationship but I'm also okay with an open relationship.

15. Current relationship status: I am a single girl. I'm not interested in married men or those in a relationship already, sitaki complications kabisa. Single men, Bachelors I insist,are needed.

16. Sual activities: I'm sexually active, versatile and adventurous. I prefer that you are too. That size is important to me as I wrote earlier I'm thick, and the size is Important in this aspect.

I also like spontaneous sex and dislike talking alot about it than actually do it. I won't like to date a virgin man, but it will be interesting to meet one.

NB. I don't do anal sex and I use condoms at all times. Please don't send a PM pretending you're interested in dating but all you need is sex, I can smell bullshit miles away.

17. Trust: Well, I know you must have found the previous criteria interesting but believe me it doesn't work if you aren't an honest or trustworthy person. A monogamous or any other relationship doesn't work if you aren't true to yourself and others. Remember I'm looking for a lover and most importantly a partner. And partnership requires honesty and trust. Think hard about this.

18. Attractive sense of humour: Please don't be unnecessarily savage to be funny. If you're not then it's also cool, I also find serious men attractive and fun to pursue.

19. Confidence: What's sexier than a confident man? A man who is relaxed confident not a show off. I'm also confident but not much of an extrovert.

20. Hobbies: Definitely not hiking, I mean I hate hiking but if you love to, Yay! I'll be waiting for you when you come back home. We could go camping though, swimming, and do other fun activities

21. Diet: I'm not a vegan but I'm thinking of reducing my red meat intake. I'm not allergic to anything so far. It will be cool if you aren't allergic too but this is not a disqualifying criteria.

22. Values: I prefer a man who I share my values with. Saying so, a man who is of Christian faith is favourable, but at the same time I'm not a religious person at all. Political views don't matter to me. I generally think if we have a lot of similar personalities we will get along pretty well. As the saying goes, personalities last looks fade.

23. Other physical aspects: If you know you look good you can PM me. I believe I'm a beautiful lady.
Oh! Beards: Favourite physical aspect. It's also okay if you don't have one, you can still PM me. But please do have one

24. Kids: I won't like to date a man with a kid or kids already. I don't have any kid. I'm still old fashioned and I believe, that I should conceive and have a baby in marriage if I'm blessed enough.

25. Asiwe anaangalia Korean series. He could play FIFA though and all those things men do.I don't know much about football though, but I can tolerate that, not Korean series.

26. A man who has a life. I mean, sitafuti mwanaume anayewaza mapenzi 24/7. Get your priorities straight and pursue your life goals cause I'm doing the same and a relationship or anything else should not blind us from living our personal lives. A person with a boring unfocused life or without dreams and ambitions will be the same or worse in a relationship. Loving our lives first makes everything else amazing.

I'm patient and very serious about this. I emphasize again, small minded and immature men are not welcomed at all.
I think it's also important for you to understand that I'm not here for unecessary chit chats.
I believe getting a lover could be easy or hard, but being real makes things easier for both of us.
I hope that you understood me, I apologize for not being able to write in Swahili too for the reasons I explained earlier.
Looking forward to receiving a serious PM from you.

Sincerely,

Thatdumbgirl.

PS. I will not compromise any criteria unless you convince me enough. Otherwise, hasta la vista baby!
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You ain't just a dumb girl, you're dumb as a box of rocks wallowing in your own world of fantasy. My positive regards to you in your mystical contemplation.
 
BOB OS said:
ila kwa sifa hizi zote bora uende kwa fundi seremala akuchongee mwenyewe
Sincerely
thatdumbboy ambaye amekosa vigezo alisikika akilalamika........
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Indeed she gotta craft that mystical man on her own.. that's the only way to put her on roll with her imaginary desire.
 
Relief Mirzska said:
And you are already saying, the US are the number one terrorists in the world.
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In this world my brother, no government finds it difficult to harm their citizens to further their agendas. Not one. And I'm not saying that US is the number one terrorist country in the world, no, I don't have enough knowledge to say that, but US government is no exception.
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You could read books or even google and you'll find a good number of examples.
I can help you with some, the 1941 pearl harbour attack by the Japanese, Do you think the US government didn't forsee that? Ofcourse they needed a reason to go to war.
How about the race-based chemical weapons testing during world war two. Or, the Missouri Mormon extermination order in 1838. How about Japanese internment camps during World War II. How about the Tuskegee experiment. MK ultra mind control. Operation paperclip? Agent orange during the Vietnam war?
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My point is, that's just US. Ever thought what your own government (of the URT) would do to further their agendas?
Think about it, stay woke.
 
Relief Mirzska said:
I really dont think watu ni waoga kama udhanivyo.

I just think (which you will disagree) that, you are 23 years old and these people have seen these stuffs one too many times in their lives.

I really think, you are on your fantasy planet.

But I also feel, you are intelligent on your own way!
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Its okay to have your opinion, but its not okay to try to force it on everyone just because you believe it or you've seen it a million times.

Everyone is special, and that's what's makes us different and equal.
I'm a realist, I have my standards based on the reality.

Age to me is just a number, me being dumb at 23 will not make me less dumb at 33 just because of ageing. No matter what age, things will not ever change for you if you don't do something about it.

I've seen older friends and people I've known staying in relationships they don't like cause the are afraid what will people think of them breaking up especially after staying together for a long time.

I've seen people I know getting married to people they don't even like, but just because of some social standards that makes them feel like a success.

Then they end up having 3 kids and responsibilities kick in and they end up not having sex for 6months to a year. They become roommates. Why? Just why? Did they believe marriage and kids is the ultimate success? Or someone told them its the ultimate happiness and fulfillment in life? Too afraid to be seen as a failure by the society? You get scared by what you believe to be scary, So ask yourself if is it age that scares you? Or being late to reach your standards of success? So you decided to compromise, and did it work for you?
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You see, when I wrote those pre requisites for my man, I knew why it was important for me. And if everyone understood me then that meant I failed to explain what I wanted, I'm glad a few understood me, those are the minorities I can communicate my message with.Thanks.
 
Karma said:
I do have a strong belief that the US government is behind rapper Nipsey Hussle's death!!

I'm sure y'all are aware of this!!
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Hmmm... Haven't looked into that. Why would they do that?
 
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