What to do?

jaxonwaziri

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Wanajamvi, this is my first time to start a thread here.
Nitangulize angalizo,what am about to say is my true life experience so watch how you advice or comment.
Baada ya kusema hayo niseme sasa.

Nimeoa, na nipo ndoani mwaka wa saba sasa na tumejaliwa watoto wawili. Kwakweli sijisifii ila kabla ya kuoa nimekua na uzoefu wa kutosha wa mahusiano.
Kuna mabadiliko makubwa yamejitokeza kwa mwenzangu. Kipindi cha hivi karibuni,kama miezi 6 iliyopita,inapotokea kutofautiana na mwenzangu katika jambo lolote mtizamo/jibu/kinga yake imekua ni malalamiko kua NINAMUONEA! Kifuatacho baada ya mikinzano kama hiyo ni kurushiwa lawama mimi,wazazi wangu,ndugu zangu hata kabila langu na litakumbukwa hata kosa dogo lililofanyika miaka 6 nyuma.

Nimekua nikimkosoa kwa ukweli na udhati kabisa (I offer my candid opinion bout her in anything) kwa lengo la kumjenga ili awe bora siku hadi siku nikiwa na Imani kua I have such a responsibility to her kwakua ni mke wangu.
I have tried so much to make her understand that my intentions have always been pure and well meaning, but HAELEWI!
Amekua anataka nimpake mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa,ila ninashindwa kwakua uhalisia wa maisha hauruhusu hivyo, kwani hata nikifanya anavyotaka tutaishia shimoni.

Haya yote yameondoa amani,fifisha upendo na kumnyong'onyeza kila mmoja wetu kwa kiasi kikubwa. It has come to a point that it is depleting our energy so much and there is little else left to tackle life with.

Binafsi nimeanza kuwa na maumivu nisiyoyaelewa na yasiyo ya kawaida ya kichwa,yeye analalamika anaumwa maumivu yasiyoeleweka ya moyo. We both think this is attributable to the situation we are passing through.

My fellow married men, your advice please.
Married women,give me insights into woman's view and point out where I am wrong.
 
Ungekuwa unapiga ulabu.... wala hata usingeanzisha hii thread kwa kuwa mara nyingi pombe ni problems solver. Yaani inasolvu automatikale kama vile... yani shwaaaap.

Kama ni muumini na mcha Mungu, sali sana na mwombe Mungu mkeo nae awe mcha Mungu. Siku zote Mungu hawaangushi waja wake.

Kama we ni mkaksi..... fanya maamuzi magumu. Pima mwenyewe uone ujue kipi ni bora katika maisha yako. Furaha au karaha. Kama ni karaha basi vumilia na ishi maisha yako. Kama ni furaha.....hakuna lenye mwanzo lisilokuwa na mwisho..... aondoke zake uishi kwa amani na furaha. aftaroo.... maisha ni mafupi sana.

Mwisho kabisa.... mlete mkeo hapa tusikie upande wa pili. Isije ikawa wewe ndio tatizo kubwa kuliko ebola. Usisahau.... nyani haoni kundule.

Baada ya kusema hayo.... babu ODM narejea kitandani kukabiliana na challenges za hangover.
 
Mi bado sijaoa na sitegemei kuoa ngoja nipite manake ushauri ntakaokupa utaongeza utata tuuu hapo home! Over
 
Pole sana mkuu,
Nadhani kuna kitu kimoja mmepungukiwa, KUJISHUSHA. mwanaume unatakiwa kuwa makini kwasababu wewe ndio kichwa cha familia. Jaribu kushuka chini kwa yote yatakayotokea kwasababu ushamjua mke wako tatizo lake kwa sasa.

Think of children future coz mambo yenu yatakapoharibika mtakuwa mmewaharibia maisha yao.

Maandiko yanasema tunatakiwa kuishi na wanawake kwa akili maana hata Mungu anajua kwamba they are weak. So kwasasa jaribu kujishusha hadi hapo utakapoona yuko sawa na mko kwenye track tena.

Sijaoa, lakini siamini kama mtu wa nje anaweza kusuluhisha mambo yenu ya ndoa but ni wewe kuact brave for ua children sake.
 

mkuu pombe ni problem solver???? basi ngoja nihamie TBL
 
Ninachoweza kukushauri ni wewe bwana mkubwa kukaa kitako na mkeo muongee kama marafiki...

Yasiwe ni maongezi ya mashtaka wala malalamiko bali yawe ni maongezi ya tathmini ya ndoa yenu mlipotoka, mlipo na mnapokwenda...

Jitahidi pia kueleza mambo yanayokufurahisha ikiwezekana kama una mifano hai ya idols wako walio katika ndoa unaweza kuwafanya mifano...

Note:
Maongezi haya hayapaswi kufanyika nyumbani, tafuta sehemu nzuri romantikale na mfanye huu mkutano wa tathmini...

Hakikisha kunakuwa na mandhari ambayo itakumbushia any past moment ambayo mioyo yenu iliunganika kama ua na kikonyo, tafuta mvinyo mzuri, nyimbo nzuri na hata kama kutakuwa na dudu siku hiyo basi hakikisha unapiga show ambayo hujawahi kupiga....

Nimemaliza!!!
 
Nendeni kwa daktari for "check up".......

Tafuta nyumba ndogo!

Simple!😎
 
Asprin said it all_take it ,or leave it.
 
Tatizo kubwa lipo kwako ndugu, kila saa kukosoa tu kila saa kulalamika, kila saa kulaumu na kuona mabaya tu ya mwenza wako unayotaka abadilike (awe perfect).... Hii kitu kwenye mahusiano au hata kwenye maisha ya kawaida tu ni SUMU mbaya sana.

Huna shida nyingine yeyote ile. Acha kuwa Mr perfect, mshukuru na mfurahie mkeo kwa vile alivyo sasa, vile ambavyo amekua mke mwema kwako, vile amewalea vyema wanao, vile ambavyo amakuwa mwaminifu kwako (seven years hakuna tuhuma za kucheat sio mchezo kwa kizai cha leo) na mengine meengi anayokufanyia mazuri itamsaidia kuboreka zaidi.. Maandiko yanasema ''Mithali 17:22 MOYO ULICHANGAMKA NI DAWA NZURI, BALI ROHO ILIOPONDEKA HUIKAUSHA MIFUPA '' (Asignment yako iko hapa kuuchangamsha moyo wake)

Kama kila wakati ni kukosoa kwa kujidai unautetea ukweli, kumlaumu kwa vitu vidogo kama unavyosema unakosea sana kaka kwa maana UNAIPONDA ROHO WAKE bila kujua. Na roho ikishapondeka ndio inakua imejaa uchungu, hasira, chuki, ghadhabu, visasi, woga/wasiwasi na kukata tamaa. Wanawake wapo sensitive sana na comments tunazowapa na kama kila saa ni kusikia habari mbaya tu utampoteza kabisa siku za usoni kwa depression n.k kaka yangu

Learn to appreciate her, compliment her, mfurahie kwa mapungufu aliyo nayo (si ilimpenda kiwa hivyo toka mwanzo), acha kabisa kumkosoa bali katika kila jambo zungumzeni kwa nini liko hivyo na mnawezaje kusaidiana kuuondoa au kucover huo upungufu. Ukilenga kumkosoa mwanamke unatakiwa utumie akili na busara sana kiasi kwamba utamfanya akuelewe na mnaishia kucheka baadae. Kumuambia tu acha kitu fulani kama mtoto sio sawa, bali mnazungumza na kubembelezana kwa upendo.

Kumbuka ukiwa na nafsi ya kukosoa kosoa sana ni NADRA sana itatokea uweze kuona mazuri ya mtu. Jitahidi kwenye hilo.

Tumeambia tutumie akili sana kuishi na wanawake, usimchukulie kama mtu yeyote tu yule au kama unavyowakomalia watu walio chini yako ofisini au kwenye kazi yako ukaona wanawake nao wako hivyo.

THE ONLY ONE WITH A PROBLEM AND YOU CAN TO CHANGE IS YOURSELF MR jaxonwaziri. No one else. We can only influence the changes, we can not change people. See how to improve your infuence, and leaders we only show the way and not telling the way.

Pole nimetumia lugha ngumu kidogo, ila kwa kuwa wewe ni mwanaume mwenzangu, unapaswa kuambiwa vyako ili upone.

Best to you.
Tized.
 
Nimewasikia wakuu, ila je, kwa wanaowaelewa wanawake (i thought I do) ama wanawake wenyewe mniambie: Is there anything in women called a 'FRESH START'?
 
Mimi sio mmoja wao kati ya wanaowafahamu sana wanawake ila machache yangu ni haya:-

Kama njia ya kwanza na muhimu, ni kuuangalia sana mtazamo(attitude) yako ulio nao juu ya wanawake na kuiboresha zaidi na kipengele cha kukosoa kiondoe.

Halafu anza kufurahia na kushukuru kwa vile vitu vichache na vidogo saana alivyo navyo mkeo, mshukuru, msifie, mwambie alivyo wa maana na msaada sana kwako ki ukweli, muombe msamaha kwa kutoweza kuona na kuthamini vile viingi vizuri alivyo navyo na ukaishia tu kuona upungufu au yale makosa madogo dogo ya kibinadamu aliyonayo ambayo hata wewe una yako tena mengi zaidi yake pengine kiukweliii na kwa dhati kabisa na ikiwezekana muwe sehemu uliotulia saaana.

Jenga tabia ya shukrani kwa hivyo vichache tu unavyoviona, hapo utampa kiu na shauku ya kutenda na kuwa mwema zaidi, akifanya kitu kipya, mtie moyo, mshukuru, mpe vizawadi vidogo vya hapa na pale, onesha Upendo na kujali zaidi... utaona mweneyewe atakavyokuwa BORA zaidi zaidi in a while... maana atatatami aendelee kukuweka kwenye good mood n.k na they are very good in returning kindness i tell you. Acha kukosoa kosoa, imeshatosha sasa na si umeona kujafanikiwa zaidi ya kuharibu?? Then it ll mark a fresh and a more enjoyable life to both of you.

Wadau watakuwa na mengi zaidi. cheers

jaxonwaziri said:
Nimewasikia wakuu, ila je, kwa wanaowaelewa wanawake (i thought I do) ama wanawake wenyewe mniambie: Is there anything in women called a 'FRESH START'?
Click to expand...
 

Mkuu, allow me to confess what you have just advised here is an uphill task to me. But I gonna start putting it into action. Its true I am perfectionist (that's my weakness), I catch my breath when a person does what I consider wrong or less than what I expect of them. I need to get rid of this mindset and behavior.

I am always a fair person and open minded. Nakubali kukosolewa na pia nakubali kubadilika. I am determined to change and learn how to better understand her to make her tick better, but what I wish for is kama angekuepo mtu ama mwanamke ambaye angeweza kumfungua na mwenzangu nae akubali kubadilika na kujaribu kwa nguvu zote kunielewa. then tukutane somewhere katikati safari ianzie hapo kwa hatua mpya.

Akibaki kama alivyo na misimamo yake ikibaki kama ilivyo, nahisi itaniwia ngumu zaidi kuwa na mwanzo mpya kama nilivyosema hapa mwanzo wa hii post. Ni mtizamo tu naweza kushauriwa zaidi katika hili ninalolihisi.
 

Haahhaha, uwiii nimependa ushauri wakoo
 
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