Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

Penis on the Board


There is a teacher, teaching sex ed to a bunch of 5th graders.


She walks to the chalkboard and draws a huge penis on the board!


She turns to the class and simply asked the class, "Class, does and one know what that is?"


The class sits silently for a second or two then little Johnny stands from the back!


He yells, "I know what that is! It's a PENIS! I know cause my dad's got two!"


"The small one he pee's from, the big one he brushes the babysitters teeth with!"
 
Caught by the Cop

A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.


State cop: "License and registration please."


Man: "I`m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"


State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."


Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."


Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"


State cop: "I`m also citing you for having a tail light out."


Man: "But officer, I wasn`t aware it was out."


Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it`s been out for two months."


State cop: "I`m also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."


Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."


Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."


Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$` mouth!!!"


State cop: "Ma`am, does he always talk to you this way?"


Wife: "Only when he`s drunk......."
 
Police Dog

A moron takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers.


After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar. "Whose dog is tied up out front?"


The moron responds, "That's my dog. Is there a problem officer?"


"Well she's in heat," says the cop."


"Oh, she'll be all right. It's shady out there."


"That's not what I mean. Your dog needs bred."


"I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She's fine."


At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. "Listen fellow. You don't seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog needs to be screwed.


"Go right ahead officer, I've always wanted a police dog."
 
Politicians on a Bus Accident

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.


A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.


The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."


The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"


The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
 
Irritation, Aggravation & Frustration

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.


Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Roger, please?"


"No! There's no one called Roger here." The person hangs up.


"That's irritation," says Dad.


He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time.


"No, there's no one here called Roger. Go away. Don't call again"


"That's aggravation."


"Then what's 'frustration'?" asks his son.


The father picks up the phone and dials a third time:


"Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?"
 
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
 
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