There are four kinds of sex : 1. HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. 2. BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. 3. HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say 'FU*CK YOU' 4. COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fu.ck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.