Ras Rizzy G
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 20, 2016
- 225
- 241
To My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt's too late - 15 timesI'm too tired - 42 timesIt's too early - 12 timesIt's too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep -
31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your Hubby----------------------------------------------To My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 timesDid not come home at all - 36 timesDid not come
- 21 timesCame too soon - 38 timesWent soft before you got it in - 19 timesCramps in your leg - 16 timesWorking too late - 33 timesCaught yourself in your zipper - 15 timesYou had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 timesYou had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 timesYou had a splinter in your finger - 11 timesYou lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 timesCame in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 timesThe reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were doing the sheet.
You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "sh
31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your Hubby----------------------------------------------To My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 timesDid not come home at all - 36 timesDid not come
- 21 timesCame too soon - 38 timesWent soft before you got it in - 19 timesCramps in your leg - 16 timesWorking too late - 33 timesCaught yourself in your zipper - 15 timesYou had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 timesYou had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 timesYou had a splinter in your finger - 11 timesYou lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 timesCame in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 timesThe reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were doing the sheet.
You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "sh
