Wonderful
JF-Expert Member
- Apr 8, 2015
- 7,347
- 5,984
CHAGGA WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance the whole night. You have to buy her credit, to organize for the second date.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance to the whole night. You exchange your expensive phone with her nokia.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She tells you she is engaged and you are a kyasaka
ZIGUA/ DIGO WOMEN
First date: She wants your home address
Second date: She comes home for the date with her brother (who is looking for a job)
Third date: She ends at the door, her mother is waiting
Fourth date: You have sex and she tells you she is pregnant and want you to take her and her baby
WAHAYA WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
SUKUMA WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a movie and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes ugali and chicken.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
4th Anniversary: You already have 3 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
5th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
HEHE WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Guinness, and have sex in the back of your car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you get to eat rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice before you met her .
ZARAMO WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her dinner, but you realize nothing is going to happen.
Second date: You wait for her in the same restaurant but she gets lost on the way.
Third date: She does not even remember to pick your calls.
NYAKYUSA WOMEN
First date: After a date of drinking several bottles of Fanta, you get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
ZANZIBARI WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
MAASAI WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
MAKONDE WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night and you get to ask her, her name
PARE WOMEN
First date: She wants sex, no food or drink
Second date: She wants more sex
Third date: She only wants chuma mboga.
First Date: You get to buy her Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance the whole night. You have to buy her credit, to organize for the second date.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance to the whole night. You exchange your expensive phone with her nokia.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She tells you she is engaged and you are a kyasaka
ZIGUA/ DIGO WOMEN
First date: She wants your home address
Second date: She comes home for the date with her brother (who is looking for a job)
Third date: She ends at the door, her mother is waiting
Fourth date: You have sex and she tells you she is pregnant and want you to take her and her baby
WAHAYA WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
SUKUMA WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a movie and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes ugali and chicken.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
4th Anniversary: You already have 3 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
5th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
HEHE WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Guinness, and have sex in the back of your car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you get to eat rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice before you met her .
ZARAMO WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her dinner, but you realize nothing is going to happen.
Second date: You wait for her in the same restaurant but she gets lost on the way.
Third date: She does not even remember to pick your calls.
NYAKYUSA WOMEN
First date: After a date of drinking several bottles of Fanta, you get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
ZANZIBARI WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
MAASAI WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
MAKONDE WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night and you get to ask her, her name
PARE WOMEN
First date: She wants sex, no food or drink
Second date: She wants more sex
Third date: She only wants chuma mboga.
