Imma give it to you raw sister, most men, even subconsciously -mostly African men at that- want a submissive woman.
Personally I like that urbanite-swagger exterior and it's quick study sophistication that is home discussing current affairs or in the kitchen and still manages to hide a warm home-grown-values interior that can explode into spontaneity without a moment's notice. A carefully calibrated meeting place between modernity and tradition so to speak.
That's gotta be hard to find so feel for a brother, you dig?