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Soma hii hapa wenye kujua kimombo

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by MERCYCITY, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. M

    MERCYCITY JF-Expert Member

    Jul 9, 2012
    Joined: Jan 25, 2012
    Messages: 348
    Likes Received: 198
    Trophy Points: 60
    *Marriage Software*

    This is what a guy wrote to our systems analyst (Marriage Software Division):

    Dear Systems Analyst,

    I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

    This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

    Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.

    I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

    I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?


    Dear Customer,

    This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

    You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

    Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and
    Solicitors' Fees).

    Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

    It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

    Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).

    DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.


    Yours, Systems Analyst.
  2. Rural Swagga

    Rural Swagga JF-Expert Member

    Jul 9, 2012
    Joined: Nov 25, 2010
    Messages: 1,400
    Likes Received: 132
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    hii peleka jukwaa la Utani
  3. Lukansola

    Lukansola JF-Expert Member

    Jul 9, 2012
    Joined: Sep 5, 2010
    Messages: 5,456
    Likes Received: 75
    Trophy Points: 145
    nimesoma mpaka nimesahau nilipoanzia, ni ndefu sana.

    Keep Informtion Short and Simple...
  4. The_Emperor

    The_Emperor JF-Expert Member

    Jul 9, 2012
    Joined: Mar 23, 2012
    Messages: 884
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 35
    Chichemi chitu...
  5. Ruttashobolwa

    Ruttashobolwa JF-Expert Member

    Jul 9, 2012
    Joined: Feb 22, 2012
    Messages: 43,712
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    Makes sense but full of jokes
  6. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    Jul 10, 2012
    Joined: Mar 6, 2011
    Messages: 3,409
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    Trophy Points: 135
    Chezea ndoa wewe,ndoa ni mtego wa panya,kuingia rahisi but kutoka shughuli!
  7. Donnie Charlie

    Donnie Charlie JF-Expert Member

    Jul 10, 2012
    Joined: Sep 16, 2009
    Messages: 6,575
    Likes Received: 842
    Trophy Points: 280
    Matatizo kama haya unatumia 'escape key'
  8. Mtanzanika

    Mtanzanika JF-Expert Member

    Jul 10, 2012
    Joined: Feb 27, 2012
    Messages: 2,208
    Likes Received: 734
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    It depends on where u did buy the software!!!!Duka la Msikitini au la Kanisani!!!
  9. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    Jul 10, 2012
    Joined: Mar 18, 2011
    Messages: 18,005
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    Trophy Points: 280
    napita 2..............