Sipendi wanaohalalisha Infidelity



whew ndio mana siwekagai 100% kwa binadamu mimi hata awe vipi. umeongea ukweli mpaka umenigusa ndio mana huwa nawekaga % yangu mie don't want to be hurt na ukubwa huu.
 
FirstLady1 said:
Na wewe Chrispin wewe ..hivi ukifanyiwa wewe si ndo utapata BP/Shell/Caltex /Oryx na kila aina ya magonjwa ?
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Huyu anajidai mjanja! Ipo siku itabidi tumkodie ndege kwenda South Africa akatibiwe! Na hiyo ndio shida eti naendelea kumega nje ilimradi wife hajui! ndugu yangu siku atakapojua You'd wish...............!

Afadhali utubu sasa ukamwombe msamaha!
 
Masikini_Jeuri said:
Huyu anajidai mjanja! Ipo siku itabidi tumkodie ndege kwenda South Africa akatibiwe! Na hiyo ndio shida eti naendelea kumega nje ilimradi wife hajui! ndugu yangu siku atakapojua You'd wish...............!

Afadhali utubu sasa ukamwombe msamaha!
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Tatizo chrispin utani mwingi mwisho anawapoteza watu hapa. sidhani kama kweli anayoyasema anayafanya na kama kweli anayafanya na yuko proud hapa namna hii, basi we need salvation.
 
Madabwada said:
mmmmh am puzzled!! mkuu hata wewe???? sihukumu .... najaribu tu kufikiria kama unamaanisha ulicho bandika!!
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Kipi sasa muafrika na wake wengi au vimada??? Maana ume-highlight sehemu kubwa sana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Mmh unataka statistics? i had to go and browse the net for some statisctis. apparently these i got from America. for veracity i took them from this website: Infidelity Statistics, Cheating Spouse Statistics - WomanSavers.

Apparently as Carmel is saying the percentage of those who cheat are lower than those who are faithfull. See my blue highlights. So why try to make a minority to be a majority?

Is there any person who has more relevant (contrasting statistics?)

Infidelity statistics
It's tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy.
22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity.
5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the 1997.
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll.
61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
Source: Associated Press
 
And then we have these:

-About 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women have had sex outside their marriages, according to a Dec. 21, 1998 report in USA Today on a national study by the University of California, San Francisco.
Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of "After the Affair," as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.



A lesser known fact is that those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. For example, Dr. Jan Halper's study of successful men (executives, entrepreneurs, professionals) found that very few men who have affairs divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers.
 
Na wale wanaopenda baada ya kuchat kidogo hapa wanaomba kutu PM (crispin had asked someone today) ujue lengo lake kuu ni hili lililo kwenye takwimu hapa chini.

57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
Evidence proves there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex.
 
Na unajua cheating inaanzia wapi? inatokea katika level ya uanafunzi. Soma hapo chini. (Kama ulizoea kudesa ukiwa primary, secondary au chuo basi utadesa hata kwenye ndoa.

According to a survey, 'Who's who among American high school students', more than 80 per cent of the students admitted to copying or cheating while writing the examination.

In another survey conducted by the California State Department of Examination, approximately, 39 per cent of the students admitted to copying while another 41 per cent of the students admitted to plagiarism. The survey was conducted on sixth graders.
 
Na hii imetoka Play Boy magazine a very popular magazine for men featuring women:
Look at the numbers from a recent issue of Playboy Magazine:
-2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men admit they have sexual thoughts about co-workers.
-86% of men and 81% of women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex.
-75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with.
 
Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair - largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.



According to Annette Lawson, author of "Adultery," published in 1989 by Basic Books.
"The various researchers arrive at a general consensus…suggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women-perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty."



According to Maggie Scarf, author of "Intimate Partners," first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
"Most experts do consider the 'educated guess' that at the present time some 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become extramaritally involved by the age of 40 to be a relatively sound and reasonable one."



According to Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth," first published in 1989 by Newmarket Press (third edition published 2003).

Conservative infedelity statistics estimate that "60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives."
 
Signs of infidelity


Signs of Spousal infidelity

Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicious, warnings or signals of infidelity by your spouse or partner, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible.
Have you noticed a:

  • Sudden increase in time away from home
  • Decreased sexual interest with you
  • Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming
  • Cheating husband or wife is often "unavailable" while at work
  • Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work or not wants to go alone
  • Cell phone calls from you are not returned in timely fashion
  • Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone
  • Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly
  • Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual
  • Mileage on car is high yet he / she reports only short distance errands
  • Clothes smell of perfume or cologne
  • Cheating spouse gets his / her laundry done independently
  • Unexplained payments on bank statements
  • Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability
  • Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration
  • Cheating spouse now has a phone card but never used one before
  • Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse
  • Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages
  • Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed
  • Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites
  • Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account
  • Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages
 
Carmel,

Hakuna mume/mke ambaye anapenda mwenzi wake atoke nje ya ndoa. Huo ni ukweli na inauma sana mtu akigundua kwamba mwenzi wake katoka nje ya ndoa.

Takwimu alizoweka Caren hapo juu zinasema wazi kwamba wengi hawajui kama wenzi wao huwa wana-cheat, huo ni ukweli. Wako wanao amini mke/mume hajawahi kutoka nje ya ndoa kwa kuwa hawajui. Na anaweza kusema mbele za watu kwamba mwenzi wake hajawahi ku-cheat! Temea mate chini dada yangu, shetani apitie mbali. Ninakupa mfano mdogo sana, kuna Mwinjilisti anaitwa Teddy Haggard, yule baba akihubiri ilikuwa ni upako kwa kwenda mbele. Siku maisha yake ya gizani yalipokuja kuwekwa hadharani, ilikuwa ni shock kwa waumini. Kumbe alikuwa ni ni shoga (anapanda mwanaume mwenzake), na alikuwa anatumia madawa ya kulevya. Sasa niambie huyo baba ambaye anaonekana kwenye TV kila siku na ana waumini karibu laki moja kanisani kwake, ilikuwaje asijulikane? Mkewe alikuwa anajua kwamba mume ni mlokole na mwinjilisti na hawezi kufanya madudu ya aina yoyote. Ndoa iliyumba, mke wa huyo baba ameandika kitabu akielezea kwanini aliamua kubaki kwenye ndoa (Why I Stayed). Huo ni mfano mmoja, na iko mingi sana.

Ku-cheat is not a crime, ila ni dhambi kwa waumini wa dini. Ndiyo maana nilisema watu wanaona ni kitu cha kawaida tu ni sawa na kudanganya, kutamani, na dhambi nyinginezo ambazo watu wanazifanya kila siku.

Wengi wanao-cheat huwa wanafanya siri, na huwa hawagunduliki kirahisi.

Kama mumeo haja-cheat, shukuru Mungu na endelea kumuomba Mungu ili mumeo aendelee kuwa hivyo. Ila angalia tu siku ukija kugundua unaweza kujimaliza kwa mshituko.
 

Hizo zote ni dalili za wazi, lakini je ni wangapi ambao huwa wanafuatilia? Ukiona mke/mume ameanza kufuatilia hayo, lazima kuna tip atakuwa amepewa.

Wangapi wana line zaidi ya moja ya simu na mwenzi wake anaweza kuwa hajui. Wengi wetu tunatumia internet/computer za ofisini, saa ngapi utagundua ana e-mail address ya magendo? Kufungua e-mail account yahoo, ymail, gmail, hotmail, msn na nyinginezo ni swala la dakika moja, na hukuti user name ambayo inafanana na jina la mkeo/mumeo, utagundua saa ngapi? Ukisema ufuatilie mshahara wa mumeo na jinsi anavyoutumia, hapo ndio maumivu, maana hela za nje ya mshahara ni nyingi kuliko official income. Watu wakikaa kwenye kikao cha nusu saa kapewa laki moja, na huwezi kuiona. Mtu anaweza kumkabidhi mkewe salary slip na fungu lote na akabaki bila senti na akaendelea kuhonga kama kichaa mwenye akili timamu. Kuangalia bills za simu ama matumizi ya simu, sidhani kama inaweza kusaidia, maana watu wana line maalum za wapenzi wao kwa ajili ya ku-cheat. Line ya simu ambayo ni official, kila ikikaguliwa utakuta kuna msg za kutoka kwa ndugu na marafiki ambao unawafahamu, same applies kwa simu zilizopigwa ama kuingia.

Cheater aliye makini atajua namna ya kukwepa hayo yote na kabla hajaamua ku-cheat huwa anasoma mazingira kwanza. Akishaona kona zote ambazo mwenzi wake anaweza kuzitilia mashaka ndipo sasa anaziba mianya yote, halafu ndiyo anafanya kweli. Mke/mume atajua kwamba mwenzi wake yuko faithful kwenye ndoa yao na kumbe ni mwendaji nje mzuri sana.
 
Ningependekeza watu waangalie movie hii: WHY DID I GET MARRIED?

Then wanaweza kuongezea na hii ya Chris Rock: I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE

Zina mafundisho mazuri sana na hasa kwa wana ndoa au wale wanaotamani kuingia kwenye kifungo cha maisha (ndoa).
 
roselyne1 said:
sijawahi kuwa na matatizo yotote katika ulezi wangu,haya mambo yapo mitaani,unless wewe mwenyewe uyafumbie macho...
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Ukweli mtupu.

eti mumeo hana kimada!...ATAKUAMBIA????what makes you,to be so sure???watu wameletewa watoto pindi waume zao walipokufa!..am sure wangeapa kama wewe hapo juu kuwa waume zao hawatembei nje ya ndoa....
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Huyu Ngamia mimi namwita "naive". Mambo ya kuibia/ kutoka kwenye ndoa mara nyingi sana hufanyika kisiri. Kwa hiyo uwezekano wa mtu kuibia bila mwenzi wake kujua ni mkubwa sana. Na kuibia siyo lazima uende ukatumie siku nzima na huyo mpenzi wa nje. Mnaweza mkalana uroda kwenye gari, jioni ukiwa unarudi nyumbani. Watu wanakulana uroda vichakani na kwenye kila aina ya sehemu. Heck, hata kabla ya kurudi nyumbani mtu unaweza ukapitia Jolly pale ukanunua malaya, mkaenda kutafuta sehemu hapo Upanga, ukamega (kumega hakuchukui usiku mzima...ni vidakika tu halafu kitu na boksi) ukimaliza unarudi nyumbani. Na huko nako si ni kuibia? Sasa mkeo atagunduaje hapo? Na mara nyingi mtu anayeibia hajitolei kumwambia mwenzi wake eti natoka nje ya ndoa yetu. Atakuwa mjinga wa mwisho huyo.

again hili la infidelity halikuhusu na sioni kwa nini likusumbue kama mumeo hatoki nje,hujampa sababu ya kufanya hivyo!...but it will be sooo unrealistic kuwaza nyumba nyengine nazo zimejitosheleza kama ya kwako....
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Kweli kabisa...kama mume wa mtu (supposedly) hatoki nje ya ndoa yake sasa sijui kwa nini mtu akereke na yanayoendelea kwenye ndoa za wengine. SMH

wanaotoka nje ya ndoa wana sababu zao,kama mumeo hana,usitake kuassume na waume wa wenzio pia HAWANA...!..
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Hoja nzuri.

AND HEELL NO,KWA NINI NIMLAUMU DA SOPPHY,WKT NI MUME WANGU ALIYESAHAU KIAPO CHETU NA KUMFUATA?
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Yaani hapa utadhani mimi na wewe ni kama mtu mmoja. Mumeo au mkeo atoke nje ya ndoa yake halafu wewe eti umlaumu yule ambaye hamkubadilishana naye viapo....what sense does that make? Wa kulaumiwa ni huyo aliyetoka nje ya ndoa yake kwa maana yeye ndiye aliyekiuka viapo alivyokula vya kukupenda wewe na kuwa mwaminifu kwako hadi hapo mauti itakapowafika. Yeye huyo mwenza wako ndio anabeba uamuzi wa mwisho wa kutoka au kutokutoka nje ya ndoa yake na kwa mtazamo wangu mimi mzigo wa lawama pia anastahili kubeba.Akina Da Sophy hawana uamuzi huo.

Umenifanya nikupende ghafla tu bila hata kutarajia ingawa Godwine anao moyo wako...Lol

Good job mdada. Umenifurahisha sana
 

Bravo bravismo Ms.Lady! Hivi kwa nini sikukutana na wewe kabla ya mumeo? But damn ma...you broke it down exactly the way I see it. If your man cheats there ain't no need to spazz out on the sideline chick. It's him that you have to deal with coz if you spazz out on the jumpoff...guess what...he'll probably do it again with another jumpoff. So to deal with the actual problem you've got to deal with him along with his cheating ways. In my opinion, it's misguided to go after the jumpoff.

Natamani kungekuwepo wadada wengi wenye mtazamo kama wako na wa Roselyn. Too bad they don't make enough of your kind.
 
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