Reclaim your life. . .

[Dr Lizzy]

Mahusiano ni kama 'shared business investiment' kati ya watu wawili. Hiyo inafanya iwezekane kwamba wote wakachangia sawa kwa sawa katika kufanikisha mahusiano hayo pia kugawana 'faida' equally au mmoja akachangia zaidi ya mwenzake na bado yeye ndio akapata faida kidogo au hata mwingine akawa hachangii kabisa katika kufanikisha na kuendeleza mahusiano hayo ila akategemea/taka yaendelee kufanikiwa huku akitegemea faida yake kama kawaida.

Kwa bahati mbaya namba ya wanaojikuta kwenye mkataba wa 'Kazi YAKO....faida YETU/YANGU' ni kubwa kuliko ambavyo wengi wetu tungependa iwe. Mtu anajikuta anatoa muda mwingi, pesa na hisia au hata kupoteza mahusiano yake mengine (ndugu na marafiki) ili kujenga mahusiano ambayo hayakutakiwa kuwa/hayana faida kwake/hayana matumaini ya kwenda popote kwa kutokujua kwamba kwa mwenzie ile ni sehemu ya kujipumzisha tu na sio makazi ya kudumu hivyo haoni sababu ya kuchangia na kulinda mchango wake. Wengine hufikia hata kuuza/toa shea kwa siri (mpango wa nje) kinyume na makubaliano ya awali.

At some point mtu mwenye akili zake timamu atashtuka na kugundua kwamba 'he/she made a bad investiment' hivyo muda umefika wakuangalia mambo mengine. Na hapo ndipo kazi inapoanza. . . after wasting so much time and money, loosing friends or family for being in a relationship that they didn't approve of, starting over is not easy.

So what does one do to recover from his/her loss. . . . ?
1. Accept the fact that it's over.
Usipoweza KUKUBALI kwamba 'what was' FAILED and that it belongs in the past hutoweza kupata amani kiasi cha kuweza kuona mwanga mbele yako.
2. Do NOT dwell on the past.
Ndio ulijitoa sana na kwa mengi ila kukaa ukiyafikiria na kuyahesabu kila saa hayatokusaidia kuendelea mbele. . . yatakufanya u'stuck' katikati ya YALIYOKUWA na YAWEZAYO KUWA.
3. Distance yourself from the past. Yeahh we are supposed to LEARN from the past but NOT live IN or WITH it. Hivyo ni wazo zuri kujiweka mbali kidogo na huyo uliyekua nae kabla ili asiwe wingu/pazia/kikwazo cha kukuzuia kuona mbele.
4. RE-discover your self.
Baada ya kutumia muda mwingi kuwa MKE/MUME/MPENZI WA FULANI fanya jitihada za kurudi kuwa FULANI tu. Kwa maana ya kwamba kabla hujawa mke/mume/mpenzi wa fulani ulikua wewe. . kama una bahati basi ulikua mtu ULIYEJITOSHELEZA, yani furaha yako ilitoka kwako na sio kwa fulani. Sasa rudi huko ili uweze kujitosheleza tena ili upate amani na furaha isiyotegemea watu/mtu mwingine.
5. Take a break.
Give yourself a break. Mapumziko kwenye swala zima la mahusiano ni muhimu sana, hata kikazi kama unaweza au hata weekend away. Itakupa muda wa kuweza kujitambua tena, kujua unachokitaka/hitaji katika maisha yako relationship wise ili usije ukaishia kubeba mzigo mwingine ambao hauna faida kwako.
6. Allow those who loves you to be there for you.
Sio lazima uongelee mambo usiyotaka/jisikia kuongelea kwa wakati huo. . .just let them hold your hand, give you hugs, be there and confort you.
7. Do not blame yourself.
"Ningeju ninge. . . .hivi au vile" will only hold you back. Maisha ni darasa so Learn from what you did/didn't do, what was done/not done FOR/TO you and move on.

As I always say "Any relationship that does you more harm than good is not worth being in."
If it doesn't look good from the outside then it probably isn't. The sooner you get out of a bad investiment the better.

 

[doctorz]

Ooooh LizZy..!!!!!!! Where have you been all this time? Good to hear from you again.

Many tend to be devastated after a break up. Not good for your health. whether you sulk or cry, life goes on. It is best to accept it and move on with life.

LizZy keep it up.

 

[Kabakabana]

Namshukuru Mungu huwa sina regrets maishani mwangu.Ngeli imeinipitia mbali kabisa,.Huwa napokea yote yanayonitokea kwa kumrudishia sifa alie juu.

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Ogopa sana hiyo namba mbili na namba saba!!

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Ooooh LizZy..!!!!!!! Where have you been all this time? Good to hear from you again.

Many tend to be devastated after a break up. Not good for your health. whether you sulk or cry, life goes on. It is best to accept it and move on with life.

LizZy keep it up.

Just here and there Doc. . .missed you plenty!!

Yeahh that is 'ALMOST' always the case. .people have to learn that just like there was life before a relationship, there is life after!!

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Ogopa sana hiyo namba mbili na namba saba!!

Kwanini kakondoo???!!

@Kaby. . . Hongera mwaya!!

 

[data]

..mmhh... Masomo haya leta kati ya wiki Lizzy.. Not ths day.. Ok ntachangia j4..

 

[Kongosho]

On point and at the right time!

Thanks!

 

[data]

On point and at the right time!

Thanks!

Kongosho this is weekend.. We need to have our mind relaxed...rather than conc. on serious topic like that one by L..

Clbn uknow!

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Kwanini kakondoo???!!

@Kaby. . . Hongera mwaya!!

Mawazo ya kujitundika au kulamba sumu, huanzia hapo!!!! Ukirely sana kwenye hizo situations ni rahisi sana kuukataa ukweli na kujiona we ni meaningless........ilhali hizo ni experiences za maisha tu!!

 

[Kongosho]

natafuta sumu ya sh. 200.

Mawazo ya kujitundika au kulamba sumu, huanzia hapo!!!! Ukirely sana kwenye hizo situations ni rahisi sana kuukataa ukweli na kujiona we ni meaningless........ilhali hizo ni experiences za maisha tu!!

 

[Kongosho]

enjoy!!!

Mie niko nalea mzee kijana.

Kongosho this is weekend.. We need to have our mind relaxed...rather than conc. on serious topic like that one by L..

Clbn uknow!

 

[Kaunga]

Ni uzi ambao unafaa kuwa Sticky pia, kwani maswali ya jinsi ya kuMOVE on yaliyo mengi yamejibiwa humu.

 

[Kaunga]

natafuta sumu ya sh. 200.

Hiyo sumu ndio uCELIBACY nini?

 

[Mzalendo wa ukweli]

Mahusiano ni kama 'shared business investiment' kati ya watu wawili. Hiyo inafanya iwezekane kwamba wote wakachangia sawa kwa sawa katika kufanikisha mahusiano hayo pia kugawana 'faida' equally au mmoja akachangia zaidi ya mwenzake na bado yeye ndio akapata faida kidogo au hata mwingine akawa hachangii kabisa katika kufanikisha na kuendeleza mahusiano hayo ila akategemea/taka yaendelee kufanikiwa huku akitegemea faida yake kama kawaida.

Kwa bahati mbaya namba ya wanaojikuta kwenye mkataba wa 'Kazi YAKO....faida YETU/YANGU' ni kubwa kuliko ambavyo wengi wetu tungependa iwe. Mtu anajikuta anatoa muda mwingi, pesa na hisia au hata kupoteza mahusiano yake mengine (ndugu na marafiki) ili kujenga mahusiano ambayo hayakutakiwa kuwa/hayana faida kwake/hayana matumaini ya kwenda popote kwa kutokujua kwamba kwa mwenzie ile ni sehemu ya kujipumzisha tu na sio makazi ya kudumu hivyo haoni sababu ya kuchangia na kulinda mchango wake. Wengine hufikia hata kuuza/toa shea kwa siri (mpango wa nje) kinyume na makubaliano ya awali.

At some point mtu mwenye akili zake timamu atashtuka na kugundua kwamba 'he/she made a bad investiment' hivyo muda umefika wakuangalia mambo mengine. Na hapo ndipo kazi inapoanza. . . after wasting so much time and money, loosing friends or family for being in a relationship that they didn't approve of, starting over is not easy.

So what does one do to recover from his/her loss. . . . ?
1. Accept the fact that it's over.
Usipoweza KUKUBALI kwamba 'what was' FAILED and that it belongs in the past hutoweza kupata amani kiasi cha kuweza kuona mwanga mbele yako.
2. Do NOT dwell on the past.
Ndio ulijitoa sana na kwa mengi ila kukaa ukiyafikiria na kuyahesabu kila saa hayatokusaidia kuendelea mbele. . . yatakufanya u'stuck' katikati ya YALIYOKUWA na YAWEZAYO KUWA.
3. Distance yourself from the past. Yeahh we are supposed to LEARN from the past but NOT live IN or WITH it. Hivyo ni wazo zuri kujiweka mbali kidogo na huyo uliyekua nae kabla ili asiwe wingu/pazia/kikwazo cha kukuzuia kuona mbele.
4. RE-discover your self.
Baada ya kutumia muda mwingi kuwa MKE/MUME/MPENZI WA FULANI fanya jitihada za kurudi kuwa FULANI tu. Kwa maana ya kwamba kabla hujawa mke/mume/mpenzi wa fulani ulikua wewe. . kama una bahati basi ulikua mtu ULIYEJITOSHELEZA, yani furaha yako ilitoka kwako na sio kwa fulani. Sasa rudi huko ili uweze kujitosheleza tena ili upate amani na furaha isiyotegemea watu/mtu mwingine.
5. Take a break.
Give yourself a break. Mapumziko kwenye swala zima la mahusiano ni muhimu sana, hata kikazi kama unaweza au hata weekend away. Itakupa muda wa kuweza kujitambua tena, kujua unachokitaka/hitaji katika maisha yako relationship wise ili usije ukaishia kubeba mzigo mwingine ambao hauna faida kwako.
6. Allow those who loves you to be there for you.
Sio lazima uongelee mambo usiyotaka/jisikia kuongelea kwa wakati huo. . .just let them hold your hand, give you hugs, be there and confort you.
7. Do not blame yourself.
"Ningeju ninge. . . .hivi au vile" will only hold you back. Maisha ni darasa so Learn from what you did/didn't do, what was done/not done FOR/TO you and move on.

As I always say "Any relationship that does you more harm than good is not worth being in."
If it doesn't look good from the outside then it probably isn't. The sooner you get out of a bad investiment the better.

What a useful topic Lizzy, thanks alot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!