Kutoka Upenzi hadi Uadui

[Mhafidhina]

Wanajamii nawasalimia wote, wakubwa kwa wadogo, Wake kwa Waume...!

Naomba kuuliza, hivi huwa ni kitu gani kinachochea au kinasababisha wapenzi waliokua wakipendana kwa dhati na hatimaye kubadilika na kuwa maadui kwa kuchukiana hadi kutamani kuuana, kutishiana maisha, kupigana, kuumizana, kufunguliana kesi na hata kupelekana polisi n.k.?

Nasema hivi kwasababu nimeshuhudia watu waliokua wakipendana tena walikua wamevalishana hadi pete za uchumba sasa wameishia kuwa Maadui kiasi kwamba wanatamani hata kutoana roho...!

Pengine labda mnaweza kuchangia au kutoa ufafanuzi, ni nini haswa huleta hali kama hii katika mahusiano? Na hali kama hii inaweza kukabiliwa vipi?

Natoa haja.

 

[LD]

Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!

 

[SaidAlly]

Coz LOVE and HATE are similar but moving with the same speed to different directions. When things goes wrong, then efforts turn opposite and moving on same speed. Meaning: The power used in LOVE change to HATE. Je? Hushangai Mwanaume kumpata Mwanamke aliye kuwa akimtokea mwanzo anamtukana?? Mapenzi Kizungumkuti!

 

[AIZAK]

Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

ahsante sana mtoa mada.

 

[Babu Lao]

Utoto, upuuzi, kutokujiamini na ufinyu wa uelewa!!

 

[Chelenje]

couple ni two forces moving in the same direction,when altered they cancel each other(+ and -) the result will be zero(kifo)

 

[Maria Roza]

Hiyo ni dalili ya kuwa bado wanapendana:twitch:

 

[Mhafidhina]

Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

ahsante sana mtoa mada.

Ndugu,

Hii post yako imekaa vizuri lakini naona kama ipo kifilosofia sana. Unaweza ukainyambulisha kwa lugha rahisi kwa mtu wa kawaida kuelewa kirahisi...! Asante kwa post yako nzuri na iliopambanua vizuri...!

 

[Gaga]

Walikuwa hawajapendana hao, hawajui kuna kitu kinaitwa kusamehe?

 

[Mhafidhina]

Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!

LD,

Ulichosema ni kweli kabisa...! Hasira, kinyongo na kutosamehe huwa vinachangia sana katika kuharibika kwa mapenzi...! Swali linabaki, je ni vipi mtu anaweza kujifunza kusamehe, kupunguza hasira, na kuondokana na kinyongo? Manake hivyo ndio vyanzo vya matatizo yote kabisa sio katika mapenzi na mahusiano tu, bali hata makazini, maofisini hata mitaani pia. Endelea kujadili tafadhali...!

 

[Mhafidhina]

Walikuwa hawajapendana hao, hawajui kuna kitu kinaitwa kusamehe?

Huwa tunaambiwa katika suala zima la mapenzi na uhusiano watu huwa wanabadilika, mtu alikua hivi leo mtu kabadilika kawa hivi...! Je, ni vipi unaweza kuendelea kumvumilia mtu aliebadilika katika mahusiano, ingawaje hapo mwanzo uliweza kumpenda na kuona ni yeye tu katika dunia hii (kwa sifa alizokua nazo)? Tafadhali endelea kuchanganua hoja ili tuweze kupata ufumbuzi wa changamoto kama hizi katika mahusiano na mapenzi...!

 

[LD]

LD,

Ulichosema ni kweli kabisa...! Hasira, kinyongo na kutosamehe huwa vinachangia sana katika kuharibika kwa mapenzi...! Swali linabaki, je ni vipi mtu anaweza kujifunza kusamehe, kupunguza hasira, na kuondokana na kinyongo? Manake hivyo ndio vyanzo vya matatizo yote kabisa sio katika mapenzi na mahusiano tu, bali hata makazini, maofisini hata mitaani pia. Endelea kujadili tafadhali...!

Kwanza tujifunze kurahisha maisha, mtu kakukosea hata kama ulikuwa hutegemei jaribu kuona kwamba huyo mtu humfahamu kiivo coz ameishi duniani let say miaka 30 we umekaa nae miaka 3 tu, kwa hiyo bado hicho kilichotokea hakiwezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee.
Jaribu kufikiria kwa nini uubebeshe moyo wako mzigo? Mpende akupendaye asiyekupenda achana nae aende kwa amani, usibebe watu moyoni mwako.

Daaa mi huwa naamini mwanadamu hanipunguzii kitu wala haniongezei kitu maishani mwangu kama Mungu hajamwezesha. Kwa hiyo ukiwa na mimi kwa amani ashukuriwe Mungu, Hauna amani na mimi nenda kwa amani tu, unakuwa binadamu wa kawaida. Na imenipa amani,sina maadui, ila kila mtu ana nafasi yake moyoni mwangu.

 

[Desidii]

Wanajamii nawasalimia wote, wakubwa kwa wadogo, Wake kwa Waume...!

Naomba kuuliza, hivi huwa ni kitu gani kinachochea au kinasababisha wapenzi waliokua wakipendana kwa dhati na hatimaye kubadilika na kuwa maadui kwa kuchukiana hadi kutamani kuuana, kutishiana maisha, kupigana, kuumizana, kufunguliana kesi na hata kupelekana polisi n.k.?

Nasema hivi kwasababu nimeshuhudia watu waliokua wakipendana tena walikua wamevalishana hadi pete za uchumba sasa wameishia kuwa Maadui kiasi kwamba wanatamani hata kutoana roho...!

Pengine labda mnaweza kuchangia au kutoa ufafanuzi, ni nini haswa huleta hali kama hii katika mahusiano? Na hali kama hii inaweza kukabiliwa vipi?

Natoa haja.

Yaani nimeshindwa hata cha kusema maana kama ulikuwa rohoni mwangu UMEMALIZA KILA KITU

 

[Desidii]

Coz LOVE and HATE are similar but moving with the same speed to different directions. When things goes wrong, then efforts turn opposite and moving on same speed. Meaning: The power used in LOVE change to HATE. Je? Hushangai Mwanaume kumpata Mwanamke aliye kuwa akimtokea mwanzo anamtukana?? Mapenzi Kizungumkuti!

Thanks for this useful post Said

 

[Desidii]

Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

ahsante sana mtoa mada.

Well Said Mkuu Big up

 

[Desidii]

Kwanza tujifunze kurahisha maisha, mtu kakukosea hata kama ulikuwa hutegemei jaribu kuona kwamba huyo mtu humfahamu kiivo coz ameishi duniani let say miaka 30 we umekaa nae miaka 3 tu, kwa hiyo bado hicho kilichotokea hakiwezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee.
Jaribu kufikiria kwa nini uubebeshe moyo wako mzigo? Mpende akupendaye asiyekupenda achana nae aende kwa amani, usibebe watu moyoni mwako.

Daaa mi huwa naamini mwanadamu hanipunguzii kitu wala haniongezei kitu maishani mwangu kama Mungu hajamwezesha. Kwa hiyo ukiwa na mimi kwa amani ashukuriwe Mungu, Hauna amani na mimi nenda kwa amani tu, unakuwa binadamu wa kawaida. Na imenipa amani,sina maadui, ila kila mtu ana nafasi yake moyoni mwangu.

Hayo maneno niliyobold naona kama yametoka mdomoni kwangu. Ubarikiwe bidada

 

[Rodcones]

baadae nitarudi

 

[Mhafidhina]

Asanteni sana kw amichango yenu mizuri, lakini swali linabaki, je ni vipi watu tunaweza kujifunza kusamehe kabisa? Je ni vipi tunaweza kujifunza kusahau haswa tunapokasirishwa na kuudhiwa na wapenzi wetu? Marafiki zetu?

Je inawezekana kusamehe na kusahau moja kwa moja?

Naomba tuendelee kuchangia na kutoa maoni yetu ya kujenga na kuboresha...!

 

[The Boss]

Too much hate is love

 

[Mamushka]

Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!

Yani wewe unamajibu yenye akili kishenzi.