Kumchapa mtoto ni LAZIMA na WAJIBU
Eli79 si lazima, labda kama unatimiza tu wajibu, I think kumnyima mtoto uhuru wa kufanya kitu make them really uncomfortable!,...generally speaking, kids can't sit still for a long period of time, they'd fight to want to do something, and you don't even need much time to make them uncomfortable, they can't stand it and so they'll learn. I think most of the Times we, the parents, look for the fast and easy solution to teach our kids and the only way to that ni kuchapa then tuendelee nashughuli zetu but that's not how we teach them, kids learn gradually, they take time na kuchapa is not solving a problem, it's creating even more problems!
Unampunguzia uhuru kivipi, mtoto unamwambia kalale yeye anang'ang'ania hataki. Sasa utamfanya nini. Unampa kofi moja hajanyamaza ameshalala
mankachara sio kwamba sikubaliani na adhabu kabisa, I don't agree with physical punishment kwa watoto, na nilisema kitu muhimu ni bora kutafuta njia nyingine ambazo ni non physics kuadhibu watoto kama vile kumpunguzia uhuru wa kucheza au kufanya kitu alichozoea kwa muda fulani, na watoto walivo akiona wenzie au wanacheza au wana enjoy kufanya something they're not allowed to kwa sababu wamekosea, they'll learn from their mistakes. Wanazo akili pia za kufikuria.
...basi hata kama unajaribu kuwaambia kwa mdomo...
I've never raised my hand to hit my daughter. Matter of fact I've never even remotely come close to it.
Mimi naamini kuwa ukijenga uhusiano mzuri na mwanao tokea akiwa mchanga basi hata kazi ya kumrudisha kwenye mstari endapo inatokea anatoka, inakuwa rahisi.
Lakini pia wakati mwingine haya mambo huwa ni mambo ya mzunguko (cycle). Binafsi sikuwahi kuchapwa wala kupigwa na wazazi wangu.
Nilipokosea waliniambia vizuri tu tena bila hata kunifokea na nilielewa nilichoambiwa nimekosea na sikurudia tena.
Hiyo ni kwa sababu nadhani baba alikuwa kajenga uhusiano mzuri sana na mimi tokea nikiwa mdogo na hivyo nilikuwa namwamini sana.
Sasa unakuta mtu anakapiga katoto ka miaka minne utadhani anapigana na mtu mzima.
That's just not right. Sasa huyo mtoto naye akija kuwa na wanae huo mzunguko wa violence si utazidi kuendelea tu.
Kupiga watoto si sawa hata kidogo.
Nadhani kumchapa mtoto hakuna ubaya(hasa kwa kuangalia
umri, kosa, mwenendo)..hata kwa malezi ya kidini(Mithali
23:13)/ (Proverbs 23:13) bado inakubaliana na hilo
kui I abide by the book. That's what the bible tells me. I didn't say that eveytime the kid misbehaves I must use corporal punishment, nope! Lakini once in a while ni lazima nimkumbushe kwa njia ya fimbo. Hayo ya kutochapana nawaachia western cultures waendelee. Kama umeishi nao(baadhi ndo utajua). Mtoto na mzazi wanapeana za uso kabisa na mzazi hawezi kushika fimbo coz the moment he does so atashitakiwa na huenda kunyang'anywa mtoto...! Tusikopi kila kitu.Kumchapa mtoto ni LAZIMA na WAJIBU
Eli79 si lazima, labda kama unatimiza tu wajibu, I think kumnyima mtoto uhuru wa kufanya kitu make them really uncomfortable!,...generally speaking, kids can't sit still for a long period of time, they'd fight to want to do something, and you don't even need much time to make them uncomfortable, they can't stand it and so they'll learn. I think most of the Times we, the parents, look for the fast and easy solution to teach our kids and the only way to that ni kuchapa then tuendelee nashughuli zetu but that's not how we teach them, kids learn gradually, they take time na kuchapa is not solving a problem, it's creating even more problems!
THing is, we're leveling kid's brains with ours, it's not the same!, and that's why tunaona wanakosea wakati kwa akili zao wanafikiri whatever they're doing is A Okay. Tukijifunza kujua kwa nini wanakosea, ttutapata njia Ambazo ni more constructive za kuwaadhibu/kuwafundidha
kui I abide by the book. That's what the bible tells me. I didn't say that eveytime the kid misbehaves I must use corporal punishment, nope! Lakini once in a while ni lazima nimkumbushe kwa njia ya fimbo. Hayo ya kutochapana nawaachia western cultures waendelee. Kama umeishi nao(baadhi ndo utajua). Mtoto na mzazi wanapeana za uso kabisa na mzazi hawezi kushika fimbo coz the moment he does so atashitakiwa na huenda kunyang'anywa mtoto...! Tusikopi kila kitu.
...si kama tunakopi dear, we can just take what's useful to us and leave the rest.
I do respect your view on this and I know you'd want nothing for your child other than success and so utamchapa kwa mazuri but, I beg to differ, zaidi on the point that just because vitabu vya dini vimeruhusu kuchapa basi its okay, or just because our culture allow us and it's the norm, basi it's okay.Ni vizuri kuangalia pia kosa hata umri wa Mtoto kama kichunafk alivoeleza.
I can't even imagine someone raising their hands on a 2,3,or even 4 yrs old.
wwtoto hawa hawa au?
Wanakosea na mara nyengine wanafanya kusudi kukupima utareact vipi.
Mimi sijapata mtoto bado ila nalea mtoto wa dadangu na kakangu, so naishi na watoto wawili nyumbani.
Mwanzo walikuwa watukutu ni hatari, unampa hela ya tuition anaenda kwenye game, hela ya mitihani anakaa chemba.
Haikuwa ngumu kujua sababu nafatilia maendeleo yao kwa karibu na mie sipendi kupiga, nilikuwa nawapa adhabu nyengine kama ulivyosema ila wapi. Wiki inayofata mambo ni yale yale.
Nilimfungia kazi mmoja wao siku moja, nilichapa ingawa nikihakikisha simtii makovu ila ajue kuwa naweza kumpiga ingawa sitakagi kumpiga.
Huwezi amini siku hizi wako poa na wanaenda shule vizuri, mitihani na madaftari ndo kitu cha kwanza kunipa wakirudi shule tu na mimi nikiwa home.
Maendeleo poa alhamdulillah, wanafaulu kiasi kila jumamosi inabidi niweke hela ya vizawadi kwa atakaefaulu kuliko mwenzake.
Fimbo si nzuri ila zinasaidia kurudisha heshma hasa kwa mtoto anaejua hawezi kupigwa.
...si kama tunakopi dear, we can just take what's useful to us and leave the rest.
I do respect your view on this and I know you'd want nothing for your child other than success and so utamchapa kwa mazuri but, I beg to differ, zaidi on the point that just because vitabu vya dini vimeruhusu kuchapa basi its okay, or just because our culture allow us and it's the norm, basi it's okay.Ni vizuri kuangalia pia kosa hata umri wa Mtoto kama kichunafk alivoeleza.
I can't even imagine someone raising their hands on a 2,3,or even 4 yrs old.
Unfortunately, we've copied all that's not useful, especially on how to carter for our kids. As long as you believe in holly books, don't choose whats good for you and leave what you think is not right. Abide by the rules my dear. Una mtoto/watoto kui? In fact i wouldn't raise my hand on a 3yr old baby in the manner i'd do to a 12 yr old...! Ndio maana nikasema tukiadhibu, iwe kwa mdomo au kwa fimbo, tuwe calm kwanza coz hata kwa maneno tunaadhibu watoto vibaya sana siku hizi, now tell me...nani anamfundisha mtoto kati ya hawa;
1. "Pumbavu sana wewe, huna akili kama babako/mamako...ndio maana hata shule unafeli tu, k*m* nina zako" au
2. "Nakuchapa kwa sababu umefanya kosa hili, nimekukanya siku nyingi lakini huniskii, ukikosa kwa mzazi wako ni dhambi na Mungu hapendi..siku nyingine usirudie"
..tell me, who's right here!!?
Ww ndo umeharbiwa kabisa na utamaduni wa kizungu kabisa au umepewa kibarua kwenye mashirika yao inavyoonekana.
Unfortunately, we've copied all that's not useful, especially on how to carter for our kids. As long as you believe in holly books, don't choose whats good for you and leave what you think is not right. Abide by the rules my dear. Una mtoto/watoto kui? In fact i wouldn't raise my hand on a 3yr old baby in the manner i'd do to a 12 yr old...! Ndio maana nikasema tukiadhibu, iwe kwa mdomo au kwa fimbo, tuwe calm kwanza coz hata kwa maneno tunaadhibu watoto vibaya sana siku hizi, now tell me...nani anamfundisha mtoto kati ya hawa;
1. "Pumbavu sana wewe, huna akili kama babako/mamako...ndio maana hata shule unafeli tu, k*m* nina zako" au
2. "Nakuchapa kwa sababu umefanya kosa hili, nimekukanya siku nyingi lakini huniskii, ukikosa kwa mzazi wako ni dhambi na Mungu hapendi..siku nyingine usirudie"
..tell me, who's right here!!?
...obviously number 2!, 100%, number 1 is vividly verbal abuse, big time!