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Job application of the decade

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by kilimasera, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. kilimasera

    kilimasera JF-Expert Member

    Jan 29, 2011
    Joined: Dec 2, 2009
    Messages: 3,073
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    Trophy Points: 135
    Dear Sir/Madam,
    I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company
    and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.
    Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on
    this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral
    and all burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before
    applying. I can remember you saying on the funeral that he will be
    very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well
    it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best man for the
    job so look no more.
    It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I
    stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall
    forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early
    retirement and I guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits
    all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but
    death is truly very fair. Just imagine, the company no longer has to
    pay his retirement funds.
    The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation
    allowance because he was my neighbour and it will be easy for me to
    simply jump over the Durawall into that beautiful big company house. I
    also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am
    sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't
    even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage
    reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I
    am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail. Amiable
    qualities that speak for themselves.
    I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV,
    just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will
    be sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial
    so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for
    my referees, well the same dead manager was my referee so we can
    safely skip that part.
    I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning.
    Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known
    Yours ever smiling even in tough times.
    Eng. Taabu Tupu Kasota
  2. Gsana

    Gsana JF-Expert Member

    Jan 29, 2011
    Joined: Aug 28, 2010
    Messages: 4,387
    Likes Received: 348
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    Ok. There is one page missing,it goes in a name "new BOT paper notes",upon receipt of that page your letter shall be among shortlist of the job which certainly shall go without you under only reason that capt.Yotemaisha brought the guy to an end that he can takeover duties and beautiful car,but if you bid more BOT papers.we can still trick Capt.Yotemaisha to join Technical Mgr for their eternal life that you sit over. Note,upon meander you least join them too. Wait anxiously your coins,Regards. Mr Deals,the employer.
  3. Mo-TOWN

    Mo-TOWN JF-Expert Member

    Jan 29, 2011
    Joined: Oct 11, 2010
    Messages: 1,626
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    Trophy Points: 160
  4. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    Jan 29, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,364
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    Funny stuff.....thanks!:laugh: