Masturbation is sometimes called "self love" or "solo-sex". It is a normal and healthy activity, and indeed is the way most adolescents discover what makes them feel good before they embark on an adult sexual relationship. In some cases however, it can become an obsession. And that is not healthy. Medically masturbation is not a physical disease. Problems arise when it starts interfering in our lives as a stress, guilt or a thorn in our relationships. Even if little masturbation does that then it is termed "harmful".
EditSteps
Decide whether your masturbation is a cause for concern. Masturbation has become an obsession when it interferes with your daily routine and your relationships. If you find yourself masturbating instead of spending time on more important things on a daily basis (and you are no longer a teenage boy or girl!), then it might be time to break the cycle of behavior you are in.2
Isolate the cause. There is a reason or reasons you masturbate excessively, and you must find out why. If you concentrate on just stopping masturbation then you will just return to your addiction after a short period of success. So, why do you masturbate? It could be because you are bored, lonely, hurt, stressed, or it could be because of pains from the past. You're going to have to get yourself in a relaxed state conducive to productive thought to really find out why you turn to masturbation. What are you trying to escape? Avoid focusing on symptoms. Saying you masturbate because it feels good is not the real reason you masturbate excessively. Dig deep into your feelings. If you find this part difficult you may need therapy to help you discover feelings you are not seeing clearly right now. 3
Deal with your feelings. Dealing with feelings correctly is a skill and may be a skill you have forgotten or need to learn. Feelings are the result of thoughts. How we interpret the world and ourselves in our minds determines how we feel. We decide how we feel about things. If you masturbate because you feel bored then it is because you decided to feel bored. Nobody made you feel bored. You did.
Change the thought patterns that are leading to excessive masturbation. You can no longer see masturbation as a solution to your boredom or loneliness. The more you learn to enjoy your everyday life the less you will want to turn to masturbation.
Narrow down the times of the day that seem to be the biggest problem for you. Isolating the times of the day that you struggle the most can help you to focus your efforts better to overcome masturbation addiction. If you know you struggle most when you lay down at night then you can create a plan specific to that time of day, for example do not lay down. Maybe you need to exercise and burn some testosterone or estrogen before going to bed. Exercise will also help you to be more tired and fall asleep faster. If you struggle at different times of the day or several times throughout the day then try to narrow down the times and the environment you're in when this becomes difficult.
Spend some time each day, perhaps in the morning, visualizing a new you. A more confident, sociable, outgoing you. It's important that you start reprogramming your brain on a daily basis. It may seem awkward at first but if you persist, you will become more comfortable with your new self-image.7
Change your habits. You cannot overcome a masturbation addiction so long as you are spending a lot of time alone in your bedroom viewing pornography. Get out and meet people. Form healthy relationships and perhaps find another outlet for your sexual energy.8
Have an emergency way out - When the wave of temptation comes you need to have a pre-planned emergency way out. Many people have found that snapping a rubber band on their wrist helps break the automatic thought chain that leads to masturbation. Of course you don't want to hurt yourself, just have something similar to get your mind off masturbating.9
Have a snack . Eating can help your body and mind to change your patterns. This is not a time to worry excessively about gaining weight if so. Then maybe a little more excersise
Tips
EditSteps
Decide whether your masturbation is a cause for concern. Masturbation has become an obsession when it interferes with your daily routine and your relationships. If you find yourself masturbating instead of spending time on more important things on a daily basis (and you are no longer a teenage boy or girl!), then it might be time to break the cycle of behavior you are in.2
Isolate the cause. There is a reason or reasons you masturbate excessively, and you must find out why. If you concentrate on just stopping masturbation then you will just return to your addiction after a short period of success. So, why do you masturbate? It could be because you are bored, lonely, hurt, stressed, or it could be because of pains from the past. You're going to have to get yourself in a relaxed state conducive to productive thought to really find out why you turn to masturbation. What are you trying to escape? Avoid focusing on symptoms. Saying you masturbate because it feels good is not the real reason you masturbate excessively. Dig deep into your feelings. If you find this part difficult you may need therapy to help you discover feelings you are not seeing clearly right now. 3
Deal with your feelings. Dealing with feelings correctly is a skill and may be a skill you have forgotten or need to learn. Feelings are the result of thoughts. How we interpret the world and ourselves in our minds determines how we feel. We decide how we feel about things. If you masturbate because you feel bored then it is because you decided to feel bored. Nobody made you feel bored. You did.
Change the thought patterns that are leading to excessive masturbation. You can no longer see masturbation as a solution to your boredom or loneliness. The more you learn to enjoy your everyday life the less you will want to turn to masturbation.
Narrow down the times of the day that seem to be the biggest problem for you. Isolating the times of the day that you struggle the most can help you to focus your efforts better to overcome masturbation addiction. If you know you struggle most when you lay down at night then you can create a plan specific to that time of day, for example do not lay down. Maybe you need to exercise and burn some testosterone or estrogen before going to bed. Exercise will also help you to be more tired and fall asleep faster. If you struggle at different times of the day or several times throughout the day then try to narrow down the times and the environment you're in when this becomes difficult.
Spend some time each day, perhaps in the morning, visualizing a new you. A more confident, sociable, outgoing you. It's important that you start reprogramming your brain on a daily basis. It may seem awkward at first but if you persist, you will become more comfortable with your new self-image.7
Change your habits. You cannot overcome a masturbation addiction so long as you are spending a lot of time alone in your bedroom viewing pornography. Get out and meet people. Form healthy relationships and perhaps find another outlet for your sexual energy.8
Have an emergency way out - When the wave of temptation comes you need to have a pre-planned emergency way out. Many people have found that snapping a rubber band on their wrist helps break the automatic thought chain that leads to masturbation. Of course you don't want to hurt yourself, just have something similar to get your mind off masturbating.9
Have a snack . Eating can help your body and mind to change your patterns. This is not a time to worry excessively about gaining weight if so. Then maybe a little more excersise
Tips
- If you have the tendency to masturbate at night, in bed, do some sit ups or other exercise before you get into bed so you burn some of your extra energy.
- Never give up hope, you can and will overcome the addiction even if you need help.
- It is all in your brain, you can always replace your thoughts with wholesome ones if you really want to. You have the power to stop it.
- If you have the tendency to masturbate looking at porn on computers, try moving your computer into a room where others can see you.
- Consider installing porn-blocking software on your computer. Of course you will know the password to bypass the blocking function, but just having it pop up will give you a chance to reconsider and move to another activity instead of masturbating.
- If you have a problem in bed, keep mints or candy next to your bed. Sometimes eating a snack or a small piece helps. When your mouth produces more saliva it brings on seratonin, and that brings on a release of sense of well being and comfort. You can choose sugar-free so you don't worry about dental woes.
- If your thoughts happen in the shower, whistle, or if you can sing, then sing. Keep your mind doing other things. Touch yourself as little as possible - just enough to get clean - especially if you are not circumcised. Clean yourself, but touch as little as possible
