Hapa lazima ajira utoe........

suleym

JF-Expert Member
Sep 21, 2010
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APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT


The Managing Director
Foods and Beverages (N) Ltd.,
Ingbo Village Road
Lagos
Nigeria

Dear Sir,

REF: APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

I refer to the recent death of the
Technical Manager at your company and wish to apply for the replacement of the
dead manager.

Each time I apply for employment I
am told there is no vacancy but on this one, I have caught you red handed
coz I even attended the funeral and all burial proceedings and made sure
that he was truly dead before applying. I can remember you saying on the
funeral that he will be very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one
at the moment. Well, it's your lucky day, Sir! You already have found the
best man for the job so look no more.

It is sad but strategic though,
that he has left us, at least now I stand to benefit as he has left a
vacancy for me. For that I shall forever be grateful for his timely death.
He too always spoke of early retirement and I guess this serves him well
too. A deal that benefits all should be the substance of a fine
businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair.

Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his retirement funds. The company will not have to worry
about paying me a relocation allowance because he was my neighbour and it
will be easy for me to simply jump over the Durawall into that beautiful
big company house. I also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers'
licence as I am sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And
sir, don't even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage
reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I am a
determined self starter who is attentive to detail. Amiable qualities that
speak for themselves.

I am sure that after reading this,
there won't be any need for a CV, just verification if I am up for the
challenge. For that sir, I will be sending my pictures taken whilst
attending the funeral and burial so that you can see how tough I was and
can be when employed. As for my referees, well the same dead manager was my
referee so we can safely skip that part.

I only hope there will be no
corruption as we are all still mourning! Thanks for advertising at the
funeral because I could not have known.

Yours .....
 

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