Man is filling up at a local bar and sees a sign behind the counter that reads, Any man who can beat the Big Three Wins Free Drinks For A Year. Wondering what the big three are, he asks the bartender. Well, there are three tasks, and no one has even completed the first. You have to drink that entire gallon of gin sitting there at the end of the bar. After that, theres a crocodile in back with a bad tooth. Pull that bad tooth out and youre ready for the third test: the 96 year-old lady who owns this bar. Shes never had an orgasm. You make her happy, and youve completed the Big Three. The man laughs, convinced this is some stupid gimmick that no one could come close to completing. But a few beers later, he starts getting interested. Bartender, Ill try it!, he shouts. The man grabs the gallon of gin, chugs about 1/2, takes a minute to collect himself, and finishes the rest. Unable to believe his eyes, the bartender excitedly points the man to the back room, where the aggressive croc with the bad tooth awaits. The man stumbles to the door, takes a deep breath, and goes into the room. The crowd listens as the man screams, water splashes, the croc hisses. Bottles are breaking, the walls are shaking, and there are clear signs of a major struggle. About 10 minutes later the door flies open and theres the man, grinning from ear-to-ear. That was a little messy, and hard to do in my drunken state, but not too bad, says the man, Now wheres that old lady with the bad tooth.