RED BULL F1 SPY: CANADIAN GP
From RED BULL F1 SPY in Montreal
HELLO all, Red Bull F1 Spy here, transmitting from a rubber dinghy in the rowing basin behind the circuit. Its the only place at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve not covered with shipping crates.
The track takes up every inch of this island, which means our base is perched on stilts over the water. But at least its cosy.
Everything in the paddock is tiny, its like being in a model Formula One village.
The garages are small, the paddock is only a couple of feet wide, instead of offices weve got portable cabins stacked on top of each other and our hospitality unit has only three small tables.
Given that theres 70 of us and we all like to eat at the same time, competition for seats if fierce.
We reckon its some sort of survival-of-the-fittest genetics experiment and Adrians trying to breed a super-mechanic that doesnt need distractions like food and warmth.
The cabins are interesting, too. Upstairs there are rooms for Seb and Mark, the physios, team management and the PR department.
Its all very private except for the fact the dividers dont go all the way to the top and sound gets through. It took a while for that one to sink in.
Back at the business end of the operation, the garage has a new viewing area where the VVIPs stand to watch the action. Weve always had one of these, its nicknamed the goldfish bowl. The surprise for us was that this new bowl doesnt have any glass.
Given the language used in the garage tends to be a touch industrial, this is a brave new world fraught with danger.
After a couple of early mishaps everyones getting into the rhythm of being polite to one another even if it does sound like some of the lads are auditioning for a guest appearance on Downton Abbey: Oh bother, you appear to have driven a tyre trolley over my foot. You are a silly man.
Fortunately everything returns to normal when the cars start up as its impossible to hear anything anyway. It reminds me of a story that one of our neighbours in the pitlane likes to tell.
A couple of years ago they had a Hollywood A-list actor as a guest. Being a muscular action-hero type he was too tough for the ear-plugs and then leapt about 3ft feet in the air, screaming like a teenager at a Justin Bieber concert when the engine was fired up behind him.
It makes us giggle every time we see him in a movie, beating up a hundred henchmen while nonchalantly chewing a cigar.
Of course, we have a real action man in the team. Mark spent the start of the week mountain biking out in the sticks with a local Red Bull athlete skiing world champion Erik Guay.
Marks mood when asked to participate in promotional activity is variable. Ask him to sit on a chat-show sofa or model a new range of kit and hell have to be dragged into the studio kicking and screaming. Tell him he has to ride a bike, go kayaking or wrestle a wolverine and hell bite your hand off.
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