lara 1
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 10, 2012
- 15,700
- 29,190
Wakubwa zangu shikamooni!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peopleeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haahahaaaaaaaaaaa! Hizi ni mada za Mtambuzi ila niko kwenye refresher course ya haya mambo, bado nimepewa Yellow Card, mwenzenu sasa kwa kujua dalili ya mvua mawingu ndo najikumbushia the basics za game, manake its a long time na times zimechange, definataley rules na tactics zimechange pia! Sasa kama na wewe Senior Bachelor alafu ukienda a date na mtu inageuka dealbreaker! Hataki tena kukuona! LOLEST! Kribu turefresh ili kumaster the game!
1.Choice ya Sehemu! Ukiwa unaenda on a date na new partner mara nyingi mpe the benefit of the doubt zigo la kuchagua mahala mtupie yeye! Ila likikuangukia ndo kimbembe kinapoanzia!!! Inabidi ucheze kwa akili kwelikweli mnake Ukipick a Cheap cheap place ili asikuone expensive unajishaua atakuona na wewe very cheap! Hapo ujue treatment za future zitakuwa influenced na hilo! Ukimuagiza pochi unaletewa La K/Koo si huna makuuu!!!!!!! Hata wanaume pia ukinipeleka a cheap joint nakukwepa kama ukoma! Akhaaaaaaaa! Mambo gani njoo conner bar! Na ukipick expensive place pia atakuona wa gharama zisizo na msingi! Dawa hapo ni kusaka joints kali bt affordable! Hapo lazima akukubali!
2.Comeversation/Maongezi hili ndo shughuli pevuuu! Epuka kusimulia mambo yako ya kazini coz its non of my damn business! Mention ya Xs wako ni deal breaker, usithubutu kutoa kitubio chako na list yako kuazia aliekutoa bikra! Damn! Its Boring!!!! Usimuulize mwenzio mambo binafsi, kama akitaka atasema mwenyewe! Mambo ya familia hayanihusu coz sijakwambia kuwa nitakuoa/utanioa!!!!!!!! Jaribu tu kuongelea vitu general unapenda nini? Miziki gani unaifeel?, Wapi unapenda kwenda na mambo kama hayo ili ujue next time unampeleka wapi! Historia tumeicha shule na mwenzie fizikia!!!!!!!!!
3.Kula Msosi!!!!!!!!! Hahahaaaaaa! Hapa ndo kazi ipo! Ukila sana kosaaa! Ulafi hautakiwi! Na ukila kidogo unamboa mwenzio bili yote anayoicover ndo ule chips tatu na robo soda!!!!!!!? Pia ulaji nao ishu!!!! Umezoea kwenu unatafuna kama bablish mmichakula mdomoni unaleta story!!!!!!! Aaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!! Table Manner wakuuu!!!! Ila zikizidi nazo ishu! Kuku unamla kwa Umma!!!!! Aaaaaaaah! Hata kama unaweza, mwenzio siwezi atii!!!!!! Unaniaibisha! Ndo muwe wajanja kuagiza vyakula rahisi kama Bbarbaque/mishikaki, fillets!!!!!! Sio kuku wa kienyeji!!!!!
4.Unywaji wa pombe! Sio vibaya kutotumia alcohol ila Soda/Juice is definately a dont!! Kabisaaa! Huko ni kuleta nzi na nyuki kwa meza!!!! Kunywa japo Malta, Bavaria, Redbull,Apple Maltizer na the likes! Kama kwenye company Mupe! Mruke! Mupe! Mupe! itakukuta! Soda is a mood killer! Na wale wenzangu na mie kuagiza Vodca! Tequila shots double double, Konya!, Sijui vishots gani huko unaagiza coctail kabisaa ya liquor na mikombinenga ya hatari!!!!!!! Khaaaaaaaa! Mpaka mtu anakuogopa achia mbali hilo Bili na shoti utayotia! Wanaume pia jianaume levi linatisha mwenzangu!!!!!!! Take it slow!!!! Kunywa redds au Dompo/Msalaba/Altar wine ile ki priest zaidi!!!!!!!!!!
5.Jifanye mshamba!!!!!!! Kaa umsikilize mwenzio kidogo!!! Sio akianzisha mada ushaidaka juu juu!!!!! Kila kitu wakijua wewe! Hata kama wajua play stupid ili mwenzio apate comfidence ya kuongea na kumake comversation! Kila jambo walijua hadi ya Napoleon Hill wayajua wewe, si ya Dan Brown hata ya Lyod Nchunga wa Yanga pia wayajua!!!! Khaaaaaaaaaaa! We mwana weee! Sitoki tena na wewe!!!!!! Mie pia najua mambo mengi ila nanyuti tu kimyaa japo akinichakachulia na uongo au kitu kasikia anajifanya ankijua nacheka tu moyoni! Sio kumshushua hapo hapo nirudishe chenchi!!!!!!!!!
6. Malalamiko na Machungu yako ya nyuma hapo si mahala pake atiiii! Oh! Mi nimetendwa sana, sina bahati, wenzangu wameolewa! Hai huuuuuuuuu! Kabisaaaaaaaa! "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."-Abraham Lincon! We ongelea present na future! Nini unapendelea! Malengo yako maishani ni nini! Vitu entertaining kama hivo!!!!! Sio wajfunguaaaaa hadi walia katikati!!!! Looooh!!!!!!
7.Kumsifia Bwana/Bibi wako wa zamani!!!!!!!! Kama wa maana sana huyo bwana/bibi hapa tunafanya nini? Si umfate huko aliko? Alikuwa ananijali, ni mkarimu, ana upendo sasa unachotaka nije nifukie mzimu wake ama!!!!!! Hai huuuuuuu kabisaaaa! Hata usimzungumzie kabisaaa atakutilieni gundu tu kidate kizima!
8.Body Language! Unakaa nyonde nyonde kama mgonjwa wa kifaduro au pepo punda kisaaaaa! Uonekane mpole usie na makuu! Khaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Tbasamu dada! Onesha wainjoy the company, cheka unenepe! mziki ukipigwa cheza, anzisha maongezi sio kujibu mmmmh! Kama katoto kumbe zeee! ALAS! Ila usizidishe bandugu manake kukwambia cheza ndo upande juu ya spika na kushake the booty! Mi simoooo!
9.Mavazi! umealikwa vaa kwa staha ila sio kishamba!!!!! Vaa kwa staha manake usitoke kama changu anaenda mawindoni!! Vaa supra zako kali za kisasa ila zisitiri mwili sio chupi lote nje!!!!!!!!! Au wapiga midosho ya kitenge au nguo za kishamba hadi mwenzio akikuona anaanza kufadhaika!!!!! Vaa gauni lako sexy safi au jeans na tshirt bomba kabisaa! Mambo ya ufashionista colour blocking siju colour combo unaweza kukimbiwa!!!!!!! Sijui green, purple, yellow kama clown ndo wajiona bonge ya fashionista!!!!! Wigi kama Nick Minaji anaperform! Khaaaaaa! Na wananume modo imekubanaa hata ukijamba ushuzi unabaki humohumo hadi uvue hio modo utahisiwa si riziki bureeeeee! Kikatu Papa Mukulu ana afadhali kilivochongoka!!!!!
10. Omba netx date!!!!! Ndio! Ukizubaa unakufa kifo cha mende miguu juu!!!!!! We sikilizia ukiona hasemi jilipue! Nakualika kwangu next time !!!!! Au waonaje tukienda sehemu flani jmosi ijayao? Na mambo kama hayo! Ondoka ukijua kuonana tena kupo specified! Take the lead!!!! Sio kujifanya wewe hapo unapendwa saaaana na mwenzio ndo kijakazi wako kukualika kila siku! Time hela zako kuwa chopped!
Ni hayo tu! Natumai mbavu zenu zimenyooka na stress zimewaisha kabisaaa! (JF IS NEVER BORING!!!!!)
Peopleeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haahahaaaaaaaaaaa! Hizi ni mada za Mtambuzi ila niko kwenye refresher course ya haya mambo, bado nimepewa Yellow Card, mwenzenu sasa kwa kujua dalili ya mvua mawingu ndo najikumbushia the basics za game, manake its a long time na times zimechange, definataley rules na tactics zimechange pia! Sasa kama na wewe Senior Bachelor alafu ukienda a date na mtu inageuka dealbreaker! Hataki tena kukuona! LOLEST! Kribu turefresh ili kumaster the game!
1.Choice ya Sehemu! Ukiwa unaenda on a date na new partner mara nyingi mpe the benefit of the doubt zigo la kuchagua mahala mtupie yeye! Ila likikuangukia ndo kimbembe kinapoanzia!!! Inabidi ucheze kwa akili kwelikweli mnake Ukipick a Cheap cheap place ili asikuone expensive unajishaua atakuona na wewe very cheap! Hapo ujue treatment za future zitakuwa influenced na hilo! Ukimuagiza pochi unaletewa La K/Koo si huna makuuu!!!!!!! Hata wanaume pia ukinipeleka a cheap joint nakukwepa kama ukoma! Akhaaaaaaaa! Mambo gani njoo conner bar! Na ukipick expensive place pia atakuona wa gharama zisizo na msingi! Dawa hapo ni kusaka joints kali bt affordable! Hapo lazima akukubali!
2.Comeversation/Maongezi hili ndo shughuli pevuuu! Epuka kusimulia mambo yako ya kazini coz its non of my damn business! Mention ya Xs wako ni deal breaker, usithubutu kutoa kitubio chako na list yako kuazia aliekutoa bikra! Damn! Its Boring!!!! Usimuulize mwenzio mambo binafsi, kama akitaka atasema mwenyewe! Mambo ya familia hayanihusu coz sijakwambia kuwa nitakuoa/utanioa!!!!!!!! Jaribu tu kuongelea vitu general unapenda nini? Miziki gani unaifeel?, Wapi unapenda kwenda na mambo kama hayo ili ujue next time unampeleka wapi! Historia tumeicha shule na mwenzie fizikia!!!!!!!!!
3.Kula Msosi!!!!!!!!! Hahahaaaaaa! Hapa ndo kazi ipo! Ukila sana kosaaa! Ulafi hautakiwi! Na ukila kidogo unamboa mwenzio bili yote anayoicover ndo ule chips tatu na robo soda!!!!!!!? Pia ulaji nao ishu!!!! Umezoea kwenu unatafuna kama bablish mmichakula mdomoni unaleta story!!!!!!! Aaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!! Table Manner wakuuu!!!! Ila zikizidi nazo ishu! Kuku unamla kwa Umma!!!!! Aaaaaaaah! Hata kama unaweza, mwenzio siwezi atii!!!!!! Unaniaibisha! Ndo muwe wajanja kuagiza vyakula rahisi kama Bbarbaque/mishikaki, fillets!!!!!! Sio kuku wa kienyeji!!!!!
4.Unywaji wa pombe! Sio vibaya kutotumia alcohol ila Soda/Juice is definately a dont!! Kabisaaa! Huko ni kuleta nzi na nyuki kwa meza!!!! Kunywa japo Malta, Bavaria, Redbull,Apple Maltizer na the likes! Kama kwenye company Mupe! Mruke! Mupe! Mupe! itakukuta! Soda is a mood killer! Na wale wenzangu na mie kuagiza Vodca! Tequila shots double double, Konya!, Sijui vishots gani huko unaagiza coctail kabisaa ya liquor na mikombinenga ya hatari!!!!!!! Khaaaaaaaa! Mpaka mtu anakuogopa achia mbali hilo Bili na shoti utayotia! Wanaume pia jianaume levi linatisha mwenzangu!!!!!!! Take it slow!!!! Kunywa redds au Dompo/Msalaba/Altar wine ile ki priest zaidi!!!!!!!!!!
5.Jifanye mshamba!!!!!!! Kaa umsikilize mwenzio kidogo!!! Sio akianzisha mada ushaidaka juu juu!!!!! Kila kitu wakijua wewe! Hata kama wajua play stupid ili mwenzio apate comfidence ya kuongea na kumake comversation! Kila jambo walijua hadi ya Napoleon Hill wayajua wewe, si ya Dan Brown hata ya Lyod Nchunga wa Yanga pia wayajua!!!! Khaaaaaaaaaaa! We mwana weee! Sitoki tena na wewe!!!!!! Mie pia najua mambo mengi ila nanyuti tu kimyaa japo akinichakachulia na uongo au kitu kasikia anajifanya ankijua nacheka tu moyoni! Sio kumshushua hapo hapo nirudishe chenchi!!!!!!!!!
6. Malalamiko na Machungu yako ya nyuma hapo si mahala pake atiiii! Oh! Mi nimetendwa sana, sina bahati, wenzangu wameolewa! Hai huuuuuuuuu! Kabisaaaaaaaa! "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."-Abraham Lincon! We ongelea present na future! Nini unapendelea! Malengo yako maishani ni nini! Vitu entertaining kama hivo!!!!! Sio wajfunguaaaaa hadi walia katikati!!!! Looooh!!!!!!
7.Kumsifia Bwana/Bibi wako wa zamani!!!!!!!! Kama wa maana sana huyo bwana/bibi hapa tunafanya nini? Si umfate huko aliko? Alikuwa ananijali, ni mkarimu, ana upendo sasa unachotaka nije nifukie mzimu wake ama!!!!!! Hai huuuuuuu kabisaaaa! Hata usimzungumzie kabisaaa atakutilieni gundu tu kidate kizima!
8.Body Language! Unakaa nyonde nyonde kama mgonjwa wa kifaduro au pepo punda kisaaaaa! Uonekane mpole usie na makuu! Khaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Tbasamu dada! Onesha wainjoy the company, cheka unenepe! mziki ukipigwa cheza, anzisha maongezi sio kujibu mmmmh! Kama katoto kumbe zeee! ALAS! Ila usizidishe bandugu manake kukwambia cheza ndo upande juu ya spika na kushake the booty! Mi simoooo!
9.Mavazi! umealikwa vaa kwa staha ila sio kishamba!!!!! Vaa kwa staha manake usitoke kama changu anaenda mawindoni!! Vaa supra zako kali za kisasa ila zisitiri mwili sio chupi lote nje!!!!!!!!! Au wapiga midosho ya kitenge au nguo za kishamba hadi mwenzio akikuona anaanza kufadhaika!!!!! Vaa gauni lako sexy safi au jeans na tshirt bomba kabisaa! Mambo ya ufashionista colour blocking siju colour combo unaweza kukimbiwa!!!!!!! Sijui green, purple, yellow kama clown ndo wajiona bonge ya fashionista!!!!! Wigi kama Nick Minaji anaperform! Khaaaaaa! Na wananume modo imekubanaa hata ukijamba ushuzi unabaki humohumo hadi uvue hio modo utahisiwa si riziki bureeeeee! Kikatu Papa Mukulu ana afadhali kilivochongoka!!!!!
10. Omba netx date!!!!! Ndio! Ukizubaa unakufa kifo cha mende miguu juu!!!!!! We sikilizia ukiona hasemi jilipue! Nakualika kwangu next time !!!!! Au waonaje tukienda sehemu flani jmosi ijayao? Na mambo kama hayo! Ondoka ukijua kuonana tena kupo specified! Take the lead!!!! Sio kujifanya wewe hapo unapendwa saaaana na mwenzio ndo kijakazi wako kukualika kila siku! Time hela zako kuwa chopped!
Ni hayo tu! Natumai mbavu zenu zimenyooka na stress zimewaisha kabisaaa! (JF IS NEVER BORING!!!!!)
