Dating your best friend, how good/bad can it be?

Dr. Wansegamila

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Leo naomba tudiscuss hii ishu ya kudate(kuwa na mahusiano ya kimapenzi) na rafiki yako wa karibu. Kwanza naomba nitangaze maslahi binafsi,mimi mke wangu kabla hatujaanza uhusiano wa kimapenzi,alikuwa ni rafiki yangu wa ukweli yaani for like three years, tulikuwa tumeshibana kweli kweli,i knew everything about her, and likewise she knew all about me.
Tulipoamua to take our friendship into the next level kwa kweli ile transformation period from friends to lovers it was hard to be honest, ilibaki kidogo tu tukate tamaa, hasa pale ambapo ilibidi kuvuliana nguo,ile the first time it was hard and awkward, lakini baada ya hapo,imekuja kuwa the best thing that has ever happened to us,yaani ubest umezidi, amekuwa my closest person, my best friend,my best companion, tunaweza kuongea masaa 24 bila kuchoka,it has been 11 years, lakini ukituona utasema ndo tumeoana juzi.
Sometimes tunaongea tunaulizana what if we gave up during the transformation period? We would have made the worst mistake of our lives,au what if kila mmoja angebaki tu na dukuduku lake moyoni?
Leo nataka tu kushare nanyi kuhusu ugumu au urahisi wa kumgeuza rafiki yako kipenzi kuwa mpenzi wako. Karibuni
 
mabwana zangu wote anawajua nyendo zangu zote anazijua si ntakuwa najichoresha???
 
Can go either way.., very good or not so good.., depends with the outcomes, kama mkikorofishana vibaya you might end up loosing hata ule urafiki wenu..

Nadhani cha maana ni ku-date mtu unayempenda (awe rafiki, neutral au adui) fanya kitu roho inapenda, unaweza ukambadilisha mpenzi wako akawa rafiki yako, so long as mna same interests zinazofanana as well as kuna trust unamfanya confidante wako
 
sina experience,wangu nawaokoteza kwa road mawasiliano siku mbili tatu nikiingia line thawa akiwa hana qualification natupa kule.
 
I think its best decision in most cases..Married people are supposed to best friends at the first place
 
sie hatukuwahi kuwa friends but dating has made us best friends.
 
kitu ambacho kilinisumbua sana akili yangu before sijamtokea my wife ilikuwa ni kwamba itakuwaje kama uhusiano wetu usipowork,tukagombana na hata kupoteza urafiki wetu?? But i decided to take that big risk..... But it wasnt easy.To turn a lover into a best friend is another option,ambayo nafikiri its easier than the opposite
 

Kama mtu unampenda basi no risk is big enough.., by the way hata baadae mkiachana (kama hamkufanyiana visa au kukoseana busara) does not mean ni lazima mtakuwa maadui, kuna watu ma-ex wao bado ni marafiki..

What am trying to say is, ukipenda mtu basi fanya kila kitu uwe nae.., ila sio tu sababu mtu mnacheka nae vizuri mpo kwenye same wavelength na ni good companion basi umfanye mpenzi wako (sababu it might have worked out as friends lakini sio necessarily itafanya kazi mkiwa kama wapenzi)
 
Kwa upande wangu naona kuna ugumu kidogo kumbadili rafiki kuwa mpenzi ingawa ni ukweli wa wazi kuwa kama ukifanikiwa basi uwezekano wa kuwa na ndoa imara ni mkubwa kutokana na kufahamiana, kuzoeana tabia na kila mtu kuyakubali mapungufu ya mwenzie.

Ugumu mkubwa huja kwa sababu urafiki hubadilisha mawazo ya mtu na kujenga heshima na kuondoa mawazo ya ngono. Urafiki huleta kuaminiana na kuheshimiana kiasi kwamba, mara nyingi mnajiona kama ndugu au pengine zaidi ya ndugu.

Lakini ni ukweli pia usiopingika kuwa mapenzi hayana formula, kwenye urafiki huo huo, na ukaribu huo huo hujikuta wahusika wakijenga hisia na baadaye kubadilisha urafiki from urafiki wa karibu kuwa wapenzi na baadaye mke na mume. All in all, kama urafiki umezua jambo jema la ndoa, kwangu sioni tatizo, kwa kawaida huwa nawatakia kila la kheri.
 
Kama wote mna matamanio ya kuwa wapenzi hakuna ubaya ila kama mmoja havutiwi na mwenzake kiasi hicho basi inaweza kuwa disaster kubwa sana inayoweza kuuvunja kabisa urafiki wenu.

 
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yaani duuuh huyo best friend wako whom you turned her to lovers was at first your love sema ulikua hujamwambia kuwa unampenda ila kuwa friends ulikua unatafuta pozi la kufunguka au kufungukiana
 
I dated my best friend, tukaachana, urafiki nao ukaisha. ni nzuri kama mahusiano hayatovunjika, but kama urafiki wenu ni wa thamani kubwa, best stay that way.
 
best frend ni kugegedana na kuendeleza urafiki
 
honestly allichosema mtoa mada mie nimekifurahia sana. mie mume niliyenaye 23 yrs now alikuwa best friend wangu na hadi leo tuko vizuri sana sana, tunapendana kwa kweli, ni rafiki, mpenzi, mume, kaka na ooh I love him so much
 
muhanga said:
honestly allichosema mtoa mada mie nimekifurahia sana. mie mume niliyenaye 23 yrs now alikuwa best friend wangu na hadi leo tuko vizuri sana sana, tunapendana kwa kweli, ni rafiki, mpenzi, mume, kaka na ooh I love him so much
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Really?
 
Hii hakika huwa ni ngumu sana kwa walio wengi na hasa kwa upande wa wanaume, mtu anawaza hii relation ikifail what next, hakika ni ngumu, ila ikifanikiwa inaendapu kufanya/kujenga ndoa imara yenye upendo wa dhati kitu ambacho ni muhimu sana kwenye maisha ya ndoa.
 
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