Kimbweka
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 16, 2009
- 8,597
- 1,683
Whether it was a light-hearted liaison, a passionate affair or a meaningful relationship that didn't make it to the "happily ever after" altar, the fact is we're human beings and there is always emotional residue after you end an emotional chapter in your life.
Some take it negatively and berate themselves, curse others, and blame circumstances while others reflect, distract themselves with meditation, a busy social calendar, or immerse themselves in work. Eventually the head says, 'Move on', but the heart lingers on as a volcano of suppressed emotions and memories keep rising to the surface. For most people 'moving on' is about finding a new relationship, when in actuality, moving on is more about 'letting go' of the past.
It is often said that you cannot pour anything into a cup that's full. The same way, if you walk into your new relationship with emotional baggage there's no space for the new person to hang their coat. You simply have to spring clean your emotional closets first. There's no point getting into a new relationship when you're still sore about the old one. You end up walking around with a lot of negativity, will eventually vent it on your new relationship, create unhealthy conflicts and issues and end up feeling even more miserable about it. Allow yourself appropriate time to just heal, depending on how long you were in the relationship, how far the relationship had gotten and how deeply hurt you were by the split. There is no need for your new partner to suffer the mistakes of the old relationship or the fact that you may still be carrying a torch for your ex.
Some take it negatively and berate themselves, curse others, and blame circumstances while others reflect, distract themselves with meditation, a busy social calendar, or immerse themselves in work. Eventually the head says, 'Move on', but the heart lingers on as a volcano of suppressed emotions and memories keep rising to the surface. For most people 'moving on' is about finding a new relationship, when in actuality, moving on is more about 'letting go' of the past.
It is often said that you cannot pour anything into a cup that's full. The same way, if you walk into your new relationship with emotional baggage there's no space for the new person to hang their coat. You simply have to spring clean your emotional closets first. There's no point getting into a new relationship when you're still sore about the old one. You end up walking around with a lot of negativity, will eventually vent it on your new relationship, create unhealthy conflicts and issues and end up feeling even more miserable about it. Allow yourself appropriate time to just heal, depending on how long you were in the relationship, how far the relationship had gotten and how deeply hurt you were by the split. There is no need for your new partner to suffer the mistakes of the old relationship or the fact that you may still be carrying a torch for your ex.