While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."