The Friend my African home won't aknowldege


Jul 27, 2021
My friend laughed then said,”wazungu ndiyo wana hizo mambo sio sisi” to mean only whites have that not us.

So my vent that began as a joke on anxiety ended up a joke, I never could say my grades were going down and no I cannot attend all my friends’ weddings because I have a new friend that keeps me indoors and makes me panic in the midst of people reminding me of how bad it can get, the loser that I am and that nobody really loves me and that my new friend convinces me to believe all it says, and I do just like they do in the wedding vows.

The prayers work wonders that the alcoholic thirteen year old next door is forced to frequent prayer gatherings only for him to sneak out for bottles of whatever he drinks to that hidden depression that comes crippling every now and then but; like my friend said that’s a White man’s thing Africans do not have it and so do my thirteen year old neighbor’s parents.

They say you learn from what you see, just thought that it should be rephrased to you become what you see; we grow up to see couples fighting only to glamorize that with sentence,”those that fight stay together” not knowing we are telling our brains abuse is the normal, we educate but gender violence lectures remain in the walls of our class rooms. I like to call this trauma because I do not have a definition for it.

And we tell ourselves we are going to get through this with our thick African skin only to realize ,we are all simply existing and news have an added section ;”suicide”


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