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Tatizo hili ni la mke wangu tu au wanawake wote married?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mwana Kwetu, Sep 18, 2011.

  1. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Katika kipindi cha miaka 12 ktk ndoa yangu nimegundua tatizo kubwa sana la mke wangu ambalo kwa ufupi ni chanzo kikubwa cha migogoro ktk ndoa yetu. Nimegundua kuwa wife wangu ni vigumu ku keep maagano au makubaliano consistently bila kuvunja. Kwa mfano mnakuta mmekubaliana kwamba tabia au mambo fulani ndani ya ndoa hupendi au yanaleta kero na ugomvi hivyo mke wangu anakubali kabisa kwamba nitaacha sitarudia tena kwani najua nakuudhi" Vivyo hivyo na mimi mume nakubaliana na wife kwamba zile tabia zangu ambazo ni kero kwake nitaacha for good. Huwa nakuwa mwaminifu na nimeacha silika zinazomfanya mke wangu achukie na kukosa amani for her sake.

    Mimi nilidhamiria na nimefanikiwa kuacha kabisa vitabia ambavyo ni kero na chanzo cha migogoro na wife kwani sipendi niwe chanzo cha kumfanya wife uncomfortable.

    Cha ajabu ni kwamba yeye wife amekuwa na vicious cycle ya kuvunja maagano na maazimio kwa kurudia rudia mambo ambayo ni kero kwangu. Pamoja na kwamba sote ni wasomi kwa level ya Masters inanipa shida kumwelewa ni kwa bahati mbaya au ni kwa makusudi anafanya anapoamua kurudia rudia tabia zinazo nikera. Ukimwuliza kwa nini umevunja makubaliano huwa mbishi na no apology na kuna uwezekano wa escalation ya ugomvi. Hii inanipa shida sana kwani huwa nataka tukikubaliana basi I keep promise kama ninavyomfanyia lakini never.
    Uwezo wake wa ku maintain ahadi hauzidi miezi miwili hata kama last time ugomvi ulikuwa mkubwa kiasi gani.

    Kinachonishangaza zaidi ni kwamba huyu wife kazini kwake kote alikiofanya kazi anasifiwa kwa kufanya vizuri iwe yuko na bosi mwanamke au mwanaume. Najiuliza kichwa hichohicho kinashindwaje kufanya hivyo hivyo nyumbani kisifiwe na husband?
    Huyu wife ni mwepesi wa kukiri kosa na kuomba msamaha ila ndo hivyo anarudia tena.
    Naomba kuwauliza mlioko kwenye ndoa je tatizo hili ni la wanawake wote au ni mke wangu tu analo? Na je solution yake nini kwani nimetumia uwezo wangu wote kumwelewesha anavyosababisha ugomvi kwenye marriage bado anaonekana kusahau wiki chache baada ya ugomvi? .
     
  2. Sabry001

    Sabry001 JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 18, 2011
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    U sound like Eng. S.N...!
     
  3. Dr wa ukweli

    Dr wa ukweli JF-Expert Member

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    Kama una house girl jiliwaze akishtuka atajifunza, au tafuta kimeo kingne weka ndani
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    hebu jaribu kuona ilivyo ngumu kwako kubadili yale uliyoyazoea
    halafu jiulize kama utawezakumbadili mtu mwingine????????
     
  5. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Lengo si kumbadili kwani ni difficult bali kuweka mazingira ya kufanya ndoa iwe arena ya upendo na amani. Na hii mkuu ni initiative yake ambayo kwangu ili sound good ila yeye anashindwa ku keep anayotaka.

    je ninyamaze tu kwa sababu siwezi kumbadili mtu wakati mambo hayaendi sawa? Nina bahati mbaya siwezi kuishi maisha ya kujidanganya wala ya unafiki na hili niseme ni tatizo au nini?.
     
  6. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 18, 2011
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    ningumu aisee
    kwani ukidharau itakuwaje?
    ni vitu gani hasa?

    kuna vitu vidogo kama ukipiga simu,simu yake iko kwenye begi,utajipa presha sana
    most womens wako hivyo..au kusahau kitu ulichomsisitiza n,k
     
  7. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi ni mwadilifu itakuwa hatari kila mwana nke kunichungulia navuta subira kwanza bana!!!!!!!
     
  8. M

    Mtanganyika1 Member

    #8
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Tabia hujenga mazoea,na mazoea hujenga tabia,inategemea ni makosa ya ndani au nje ya nyumba.iwapo ni ya ndani jaribu kuangalia mazingira ambayo mara kwa mara humsababisha kurudia kosa ukishagundua jaribu kuwa unajitahidi kublock hayo mazingira,na kama ni nje inaweza ikawa ni shoga zake na mengine yakupasa kujua marafiki zake na mwenendo yao nahuko pia tumia njia ya kupunguza namna ya yeye kujikuta amerudia kosa.
     
  9. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 18, 2011
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    Simu sipotezi muda nayo kwani anafanya kazi she can do any how wala sina muda wa ku dig down. Ila mkuu mfano mmepeana majukumu very serious then unasafiri kikazi na ukirudi unakuta hakuna kitu chochote kilichofanyika na inakubidi wewe uanze kufanya kana kwamba hukuacha mtu home.ukimuuliza anaruka kimanga na yeye anakuwa mkali kuliko wewe. akikueleza kitu cha uwongo anataka uamini bila kuuliza uliza maswali na ukikosea ukamwambia hii sii kweli basi ni machafuko. hii ni hostile behaviour kwangu sana
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    well that is serious
    kwa ufupi huyo mkeo ana tabia za usiri na kufanya mambo yake
    mwambie tu ukweli kuwa akiendelea hivyo utashindwa...utatafuta mwingine
     
  11. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 18, 2011
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    Labda hana 'nguvu' za kutosha kubeba majukumu kazini na nyumbani. Nenda nae taratibu
     
  12. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Nakushukuru kwa ushauri mkuu ila huyu wife akitoka job ni home moja kwa moja na wala si mywaji na wikiend zote tunakuwa pamoja home na hata tukitaka kutoka mara nyingi tuko wote. Kama mashoga anayo labda ni kazini ila na siwezi kubisha kwamba nao wanaweza kuchangia tabia yake.
     
  13. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    tabia ni kama ngozi,inachukua muda kuweza kubadilika.ndoa inahitaji uvumilivu na uelewa wa hali ya juu. kuwa mpole, anaporudia makosa muambie gently 'mpenzi, natambua kuwa ww ni binadamu na unasahau ama kughafilika. jambo hili kama ujuavyo linanikwaza. plz,niko hapa kuku-support kama ww ulivyoni-support kuwa mwanaume wa maana. tell me nifanyeje kuku-support ili tuweze kuvuka kikwazo hichi pamoja.kwa sababu tunapendana,nina hakika tutafanikiwa'. nadhani if u ar gentle enough mnaweza kufika mahali. otherwise,natumaini una strong reasons za kumtaka afanye mabadiliko. otherwise unaweza kukubali tu kuwa ndo alivyo mwenza wako na ku-celebrate ur differences.
     
  14. RedDevil

    RedDevil JF-Expert Member

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    Wakati mwingine wewe ndiyo una tatizo, au kwa lugha rahisi ni kuwa wewe ndo unamsababishia hiyo hali. Wanawake wengi wanatabia ya kufanya kwa vitendo kama ishara ya kukuonyesha wewe kuwa hajakubaliana na jambo fulani hata kama litakuwa ni dogo. Kwa hiyo jaribu kucheki kipindi hayo makosa anayarudia katika mazingira gani? walati gani? Na vipi kuhusu kwenye shughuli fulani fulani anaridhika au anakuzuga tu harafu inakuja kuwa adhabu kwako baadae?
     
  15. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Namjua mwanamke mmoja sifa kama hizo. Kazini efficient kupita maelezo kila siku anapandishwa cheo ila home hawezi.

    Ni Kama vile kazini anakuwa amejitahidi mno kiasi cha kuwa home anataka mume amfanyie kila kitu.

    So wa aina hiyo wapo, unachotakiwa kufanya nadhani ni kumpa majukumu madogo madogo na kumsifu sana kila akitekeleza.
     
  16. k

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

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    kuishi 24/7 sometimes makosa hayakosekani,hata kama uwe na rafiki,ni vizuri pia msigandane,sembuse mume na mke?kwake hiyo ni tabia yake,jaribu ku ignore mshukuru mungu kufika 12 years katika ndoa.ndoa za siku hizi mkifika 10 years ni shuhuli.
     
  17. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    halafu usimpe mtu jukumu ambalo haliwezi au hataki lakini anashindwa kukataa
     
  18. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Kama hali iko hivi unanishaurije sasa? sometime uko sawa kwani akirudi home ni nadra kuongelea mambo ya home na mara nyingi atakueleza yaliyojiri ofisini na kukupatia ratiba za kazi zake. Kwenda naye taratibu zaidi ya jinsi ambavyo nimekwenda naye ni kutengeneza family isiyo na future labda ushauri kitu kikubwa zaidi.
     
  19. Mwana Kwetu

    Mwana Kwetu JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu ku celebrate difference ni kutangaza kuwa sina future unnecessarily na hii ni kukubali hata kuingia sebuleni ukute nguo juu ya TV na viatu juu ya meza kitu ambacho ni kukubali kuishi kama kichaa
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    wewe beba majukumu yote ya nyumbani....wapo watu wanafanya hivyo aisee
     
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