Rais Magufuli awalaumu wakenya


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joewathika

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http://www.sde.co.ke/m/article/2000...age-on-kenyans-greed-and-ugali-saucer-culture

In what is likely to throw Kenya and Tanzania into a diplomatic row, president Magufuli has blamed Kenya’s biting maize shortage on Kenyans’ gluttonous nature.
Speaking from the Tanzanian Ikulu during a state dinner, the overly frugal Tanzanian president asked Kenyans, some of whom were in attendance, to stop gluttonous culture of ‘ugali saucer’, and just be content with the first serving.
Hear him: “Shida ya ndugu zetu wa Kenya ni kwamba wanakula kumaliza na kuchoka. Hotelini lazima waitishe saucer (Kenyans don’t eat to get satisfied, they eat to finish and only stop when they get tired!
At hotels, they must ask for additions)! He warned that if this behaviour is allowed to go on, it will put too much pressure on the other SGR – the Strategic Grain Reserve, effectively leading to its depletion.
The Tanzanian president went on to offer tips to Kenyans on how they can minimise intake of maize and maize flour. This, among others, included encouraging bad cooking. “Good cooking is a recipe for overfeeding. Only bad cooking will save your country!” scoffed the president.
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Mwalimu then went on to advise those who make family meals to stop watching cooking shows, so as to ensure their cooking remains rudimentary and unappetising. “Wasipo
tii, itabidi lile tume la KFCB liingilie kati
na lipige marufuku hivi vipindi vya upishi
kwenye televisheni (or KFCB should step in and ban airing of cooking TV shows)!
Gluttonous Kenyans
In what looks likes proof of Mwalimu’s remarks on Kenyans and their overfeeding culture, a random research has revealed that Kenyans have bigger waists than Tanzanians (and that’s why seats and chairs made in Tanzania rarely find buyers in Kenya because they are too small!).
A basic research on the internet also proves that Kenya has more socialites than Tanzania. Kenyans who are proud of their country’s ‘assets’ are now worried that if the maize shortage persists, the number of girls with notable hips and backsides that qualify them to post semi-nude and nude photos on social media could drastically reduce.
Sources say that Mwalimu’s ‘lecture’ fury was prompted after he noticed the Kenyans he had invited to the state dinner fighting and jostling for second servings. This peeved him greatly seeing that it would overshoot his strict budget for the evening.
“Henceforth Kenyans will only be invited to my state dinners if they carry their own food!” Mwalimu is said to have declared, after seeing the mess the Kenyans had done to his floor and budget. Unconfirmed reports say this was made worse by the fact that Mwalimu had done the shopping for the state dinner himself. However, questions to his press team over whether Mwalimu has loyalty cards of all the different supermarkets he patronises went unanswered.
Conflicting reports, however, told a different story. Alternative sources revealed that Mwalimu did not only get angry but actually kicked the gluttonous Kenyans out of the state dinner. But Kenyans who attended the dinner were not only unapologetic but ungrateful.
diplomatic tiff
“I don’t care that we were kicked out... what kind of a state dinner was that? We even had to share toothpicks by cutting one in half between two people to cut costs!” revealed one angry Kenyan who attended the event.
And now that Kenya is staring at a diplomatic tiff with Tanzania, experts have not agreed on what needs to be done to resolve the imminent furry from Kenyan authorities.
What they are agreed on though is that it might get ugly, with retaliation and counter-retaliation.
“Brace yourselves folks... Kenya could increase the number of crocodiles on the Mara river so that no single wildebeests makes it to the Serengeti alive during the annual migration... Tanzania could decide in retaliation to build a very high wall to block Kenyans from having a view of Mt Kilimanjaro and possibly taking pictures of it and selling it as their own!” said one wag.
 
Geza Ulole

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Geza Ulole

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Sipendi hii tabia ya wakenya kutumia jina la Magufuli kwenye their nonsense satire cum gossip! We have plenty of maize to feed u people! Cha ajabu huwezi kuta jitu kama Mark Mutahi likimuandika Uhuru kwenye ujinga wao!



cvyhrqdutwpsf57831af279e52.jpg
 
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http://www.sde.co.ke/m/article/2000...age-on-kenyans-greed-and-ugali-saucer-culture

In what is likely to throw Kenya and Tanzania into a diplomatic row, president Magufuli has blamed Kenya’s biting maize shortage on Kenyans’ gluttonous nature.
Speaking from the Tanzanian Ikulu during a state dinner, the overly frugal Tanzanian president asked Kenyans, some of whom were in attendance, to stop gluttonous culture of ‘ugali saucer’, and just be content with the first serving.
Hear him: “Shida ya ndugu zetu wa Kenya ni kwamba wanakula kumaliza na kuchoka. Hotelini lazima waitishe saucer (Kenyans don’t eat to get satisfied, they eat to finish and only stop when they get tired!
At hotels, they must ask for additions)! He warned that if this behaviour is allowed to go on, it will put too much pressure on the other SGR – the Strategic Grain Reserve, effectively leading to its depletion.
The Tanzanian president went on to offer tips to Kenyans on how they can minimise intake of maize and maize flour. This, among others, included encouraging bad cooking. “Good cooking is a recipe for overfeeding. Only bad cooking will save your country!” scoffed the president.
READ MORE
Four reasons why your wife plans to kill you
Drama as furious watchman undresses and dares quarrelsome teacher to assault him
Nag for 'morning glory' earns wife hot slaps from late-for-work hubby
Mwalimu then went on to advise those who make family meals to stop watching cooking shows, so as to ensure their cooking remains rudimentary and unappetising. “Wasipo
tii, itabidi lile tume la KFCB liingilie kati
na lipige marufuku hivi vipindi vya upishi
kwenye televisheni (or KFCB should step in and ban airing of cooking TV shows)!
Gluttonous Kenyans
In what looks likes proof of Mwalimu’s remarks on Kenyans and their overfeeding culture, a random research has revealed that Kenyans have bigger waists than Tanzanians (and that’s why seats and chairs made in Tanzania rarely find buyers in Kenya because they are too small!).
A basic research on the internet also proves that Kenya has more socialites than Tanzania. Kenyans who are proud of their country’s ‘assets’ are now worried that if the maize shortage persists, the number of girls with notable hips and backsides that qualify them to post semi-nude and nude photos on social media could drastically reduce.
Sources say that Mwalimu’s ‘lecture’ fury was prompted after he noticed the Kenyans he had invited to the state dinner fighting and jostling for second servings. This peeved him greatly seeing that it would overshoot his strict budget for the evening.
“Henceforth Kenyans will only be invited to my state dinners if they carry their own food!” Mwalimu is said to have declared, after seeing the mess the Kenyans had done to his floor and budget. Unconfirmed reports say this was made worse by the fact that Mwalimu had done the shopping for the state dinner himself. However, questions to his press team over whether Mwalimu has loyalty cards of all the different supermarkets he patronises went unanswered.
Conflicting reports, however, told a different story. Alternative sources revealed that Mwalimu did not only get angry but actually kicked the gluttonous Kenyans out of the state dinner. But Kenyans who attended the dinner were not only unapologetic but ungrateful.
diplomatic tiff
“I don’t care that we were kicked out... what kind of a state dinner was that? We even had to share toothpicks by cutting one in half between two people to cut costs!” revealed one angry Kenyan who attended the event.
And now that Kenya is staring at a diplomatic tiff with Tanzania, experts have not agreed on what needs to be done to resolve the imminent furry from Kenyan authorities.
What they are agreed on though is that it might get ugly, with retaliation and counter-retaliation.
“Brace yourselves folks... Kenya could increase the number of crocodiles on the Mara river so that no single wildebeests makes it to the Serengeti alive during the annual migration... Tanzania could decide in retaliation to build a very high wall to block Kenyans from having a view of Mt Kilimanjaro and possibly taking pictures of it and selling it as their own!” said one wag.

Maana yake ni kwamba Magufuli wetu is the best, hakuna tafsiri nyingine na ndiyo maana wanamtumia kama standard kwa karibia kila kitu, halafu sasa Raisi Magufuli mwenyewe hata time nao hana!
Wako obsessed na Magufuli wetu!
 
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MOTOCHINI

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Huyu mwandishi mpuzi kweli kweli
 
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Huyo naye amekunywa Konyagi ama mbege
 
Iconoclastes

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Iconoclastes

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Majournalists ckuizi wamekosa kazz or wot?

Nonsense!
 
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HEKIMA KWANZA

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HEKIMA KWANZA

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Tacky, cheap and nasty.
 
swissme

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swissme

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wakenya wanajua nani ni Rais wa Tanzania bila shuruti.

images-18-jpeg.365371


swissme
 
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swissme

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Hata Diamond ni rais Tanzania lakini siyo president of United Republic of Tanzania
ndio hata ccm wanataka kuweka sanamu ya Diamond haya ni maajabu.

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jogi

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jogi

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Nimetabasamu kwenye "vijiti vya kuchokolea meno tunavunjiana eti tuna bana matumizi"
 
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Inaonekana kwa hili LA satire/gossip na utani, tofauti lipo kwenye tafsiri lake baina ya TZ na KE. Different strokes for different folks.
Lakini Geza Ulole to be fair, mimi binafsi nimejaribu kuvisoma magazeti vya kwenu, havina columns kama hivi, labda unikosoe.
 
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Maana yake ni kwamba Magufuli wetu is the best, hakuna tafsiri nyingine na ndiyo maana wanamtumia kama standard kwa karibia kila kitu, halafu sasa Raisi Magufuli mwenyewe hata time nao hana!
Wako obsessed na Magufuli wetu!
Mkuu hujasoma kilichoandikwa . Hebu soma kwanza .
 
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Mti wenye matunda ndio unaopigwa mawe.
 
Geza Ulole

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Geza Ulole

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Inaonekana kwa hili LA satire/gossip na utani, tofauti lipo kwenye tafsiri lake baina ya TZ na KE. Different strokes for different folks.
Lakini Geza Ulole to be fair, mimi binafsi nimejaribu kuvisoma magazeti vya kwenu, havina columns kama hivi, labda unikosoe.
column za kijinga Mkikuyu hawezi mkosoa President Mkikuyu bali anaweza andika upuuzi wa Rais anayefanya vizuri zaidi!
 
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Kafrican

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iko wapi ile XYZ show episode ambayo iko na interview ya magufuli
 
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column za kijinga Mkikuyu hawezi mkosoa President Mkikuyu bali anaweza andika upuuzi wa Rais anayefanya vizuri zaidi!
Eheh geza Ulla you never disappoint, yaani hivi nyie hamna utani hata chembe, relax. Hata kama utani kama huu huelewi, kuna baadhi ya watu wanalengwa, na simtetei mwandishi mimi.
 
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Dhuks

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Magufuli is the most ideal candidate for such sattire because he can say anything under the sun to be seen as working. To humor columnists, that is gold
 

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