Please advise

I had a one night stand with a lady and she got pregnant. I work overseas and have realised that despite all the finacial support I give her, she is not looking forward to developing me or even saving for our daughter.

I have visited her relatives but I have no legal commitment with her other than providing financial support. I don抰 even feel any love for her. If i let her stay with my daughter, does it have any legal implications? I do not want to waste any more time on her. We talked about it but she seemed unmoved. Advise me.

Bao3 said:

I had a one night stand with a lady and she got pregnant. I work overseas and have realised that despite all the finacial support I give her, she is not looking forward to developing me or even saving for our daughter.

I have visited her relatives but I have no legal commitment with her other than providing financial support. I don抰 even feel any love for her. If i let her stay with my daughter, does it have any legal implications? I do not want to waste any more time on her. We talked about it but she seemed unmoved. Advise me.

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...keyboard yako inaandika kichina? 🙂

...ushauri wangu kwanza kapime DNA kuhakikisha mtoto ni 'wako'.
Iwapo mtoto ni 'wako', endelea kumpa mama matumizi na weka kumbukumbu zote, ...zitakuja kukusaidia huko mbeleni patapohitajika uthibitisho.

Ushauri juu ya kuwekeza mali kwa ajili ya huyo mtoto 'wako', wekeza wewe iwapo huyo mama hafanyi hivyo.

Legal implications hata kwa sie tulioana, tunaambiwa mtoto atabakia chini ya uangalizi na usimamizi wa mama mpaka atapovuka miaka 18 (?), unless otherwise kuna vipengele vya sheria zinampinga huyo mama kwa hilo.

Kuna mambo matatu ya haraka kwenye hoja yako.
You spent a night with her. Inamaana huna hakika kama mtoto ni wako au unamashaka, basi nenda kahakikishe.
Hoja ya pili. She is not supportive. Hii naona umechomekea ili uweke hoja ya tatu. Km kasoro ni kutokuwa supportive, bado anaweza kusawazishika mkaendelea na maisha just for the sake of a daughter.
Ya tatu. Huna commitment unataka kumbwaga. Hii ndio kiini ya kwanza ya one night na supportive ni vijisababu kwa mtazamo wangu mie wa kumuacha. If at all unaona huweza, or no turning point zungumza naye na mnaweza kuelewana kama wewe unadhani unweza hata kumchukua binti awe kwenye uangalizi just kwa ajili ya maisha yake itakuwa vizuri. Otherwise your completely liable to provide for her

Usiku mmoja na mwanamke usiyemjua , bila kutumia kinga ni kosa sana, utakuwa na uhakika gani kama mtoto ni wako au umebambikiwa.

Joyceline said:

Usiku mmoja na mwanamke usiyemjua , bila kutumia kinga ni kosa sana, utakuwa na uhakika gani kama mtoto ni wako au umebambikiwa.

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Kwani mimba inaingia mpaka muwe mmekutana mara ngapi?

kwanza wewe huyo mama ulimtrust kiasi cha kutotumia kinga??? hujijali kabisa maisha yako, unauliza mimba??? nao ukimwi unaupata baada ya mara ngapi???

Bao3 said:

I had a one night stand with a lady and she got pregnant. I work overseas and have realised that despite all the finacial support I give her, she is not looking forward to developing me or even saving for our daughter.

I have visited her relatives but I have no legal commitment with her other than providing financial support. I don抰 even feel any love for her. If i let her stay with my daughter, does it have any legal implications? I do not want to waste any more time on her. We talked about it but she seemed unmoved. Advise me.

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Sasa na wewe unashangaza na kutia uchungu zaidi, yaani one night stand unauza timu??? unategemea nini hapo... responsibilities na charities zinaanzia nyumbani. na wewe na mwenzio wote mmenyesha mapungufu kwa kuchapana kavu on a one night stand

you rip what you saw... kama hamkuanza ki-responsibe inakuwa ngumu kubadilika

Lakini usife moyo, mshauri mwenzako ili mlee mtoto

MTM said:

Sasa na wewe unashangaza na kutia uchungu zaidi, yaani one night stand unauza timu??? unategemea nini hapo... responsibilities na charities zinaanzia nyumbani. na wewe na mwenzio wote mmenyesha mapungufu kwa kuchapana kavu on a one night stand

you rip what you saw... kama hamkuanza ki-responsibe inakuwa ngumu kubadilika

Lakini usife moyo, mshauri mwenzako ili mlee mtoto

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Ok,point taken. respect!

Shishi said:

kwanza wewe huyo mama ulimtrust kiasi cha kutotumia kinga??? hujijali kabisa maisha yako, unauliza mimba??? nao ukimwi unaupata baada ya mara ngapi???

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Watu bana, hayo ya ukimwi yanakujaje hapo? nyie mmeombwa mtoe ushauri juu ya mtoto......mnaanza kuleta bla bla.....hamjaombwa hayo bana!......kuwa na one night stand na lady haimaanishi eti huyo demu ni malaya fulani ...ni possible alikuwa demu wake au mchumba wake fulani....sasa nyie mlitaka aingie huko na ndom?

Back to ushauri, kwanza jiridhishe kuwa yule ni mwanao, pili kama utaridhika kuwa ni mtoto wako endelea kumtunza na investment for her uzifanye mwenyewe kama member mmoja alivyoshauri hapo juu!

Next Level said:

Watu bana, hayo ya ukimwi yanakujaje hapo? nyie mmeombwa mtoe ushauri juu ya mtoto......mnaanza kuleta bla bla.....hamjaombwa hayo bana!......kuwa na one night stand na lady haimaanishi eti huyo demu ni malaya fulani ...ni possible alikuwa demu wake au mchumba wake fulani....sasa nyie mlitaka aingie huko na ndom?

Back to ushauri, kwanza jiridhishe kuwa yule ni mwanao, pili kama utaridhika kuwa ni mtoto wako endelea kumtunza na investment for her uzifanye mwenyewe kama member mmoja alivyoshauri hapo juu!

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Kumbe busara bado zipo hapa jamvini. Asante sana!

Yes. iwe fundisho kwa wenye tabia kama yako. what the hell were you thinking?
anyway, you are in for it. hayo ni matunda ya uliyoyafanya. sorry kwa kua mkali kua tayari kwa lolote now.

Next Level said:

Watu bana, hayo ya ukimwi yanakujaje hapo? nyie mmeombwa mtoe ushauri juu ya mtoto......mnaanza kuleta bla bla.....hamjaombwa hayo bana!......kuwa na one night stand na lady haimaanishi eti huyo demu ni malaya fulani ...ni possible alikuwa demu wake au mchumba wake fulani....sasa nyie mlitaka aingie huko na ndom?

Back to ushauri, kwanza jiridhishe kuwa yule ni mwanao, pili kama utaridhika kuwa ni mtoto wako endelea kumtunza na investment for her uzifanye mwenyewe kama member mmoja alivyoshauri hapo juu!

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wewe mwenye busara mbona hukuona kuwa kasema he doesnt feel anything for her...so ni demu yake bado??? tena kama ni demu yake haingekuw ione night stand.... ya ukimwi makubwa kuliko hayo ya mimba wacha kumtetea saaaaaaaaaaana...ukweli usemwe!!!

Jamani msimlaumu sana jamaa kuna watoto jamani wapo so hot dah unaamua kupiga kavu tu na unakuwa na ujasiri mkubwa sana eti ukimwi kitu gani wangapi wamepata nitakuwa mimi toto kweli so hot.

Bao3 said:

Kwani mimba inaingia mpaka muwe mmekutana mara ngapi?

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...mara moja tu mkuu.

Next Level said:

Watu bana, hayo ya ukimwi yanakujaje hapo? nyie mmeombwa mtoe ushauri juu ya mtoto......mnaanza kuleta bla bla.....hamjaombwa hayo bana!......kuwa na one night stand na lady haimaanishi eti huyo demu ni malaya fulani ...ni possible alikuwa demu wake au mchumba wake fulani....sasa nyie mlitaka aingie huko na ndom?

Back to ushauri, kwanza jiridhishe kuwa yule ni mwanao, pili kama utaridhika kuwa ni mtoto wako endelea kumtunza na investment for her uzifanye mwenyewe kama member mmoja alivyoshauri hapo juu!

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Fidel80 said:

Jamani msimlaumu sana jamaa kuna watoto jamani wapo so hot dah unaamua kupiga kavu tu na unakuwa na ujasiri mkubwa sana eti ukimwi kitu gani wangapi wamepata nitakuwa mimi toto kweli so hot.

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eti eh!!!!!! makubwa!

...namlaumu huyo binti aliyesimamisha nae 'usiku mmoja'. Inaonekana 'alimlengeshea' mwanajaamii wetu hapa, iweje hakuzijua siku zake za hatari bana?!

Shishi said:

wewe mwenye busara mbona hukuona kuwa kasema he doesnt feel anything for her...so ni demu yake bado??? tena kama ni demu yake haingekuw ione night stand.... ya ukimwi makubwa kuliko hayo ya mimba wacha kumtetea saaaaaaaaaaana...ukweli usemwe!!!

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Bibie kwanza yale maelezo ya mjumbe hukuyasoma vizuri kabisa....kutofeel anything kwa huyo lady kumetokana na tabia yake ya kutojishughulisha kuimarisha uhusiano despite support anayompa mshikaji....so jamaa hamfeel tena kama siku zile alipomchapa bao...sawa?

Pili, kiswahili kwako inawezekana kigumu.......sijakwambia ukimwi ni issue ndogo kuliko mimba hapa, mi nimekwambia aliye omba ushauri hakutaka mmshauri mambo hayo ya ukimwi kwa sasa bana....ninyi navihelehele vyenu sijui muonekane huwa mnajikinga sana na ili jamaa aonekane lwapugire, mkaanza kumshushia nondo za angaza...wapi na wapi? Toeni kwanza msaada wa mawazo anayoyataka sasa........!

In addition to that. Siku hizi kuna boarding schools from chekechea. Kama unawasiwasi na *****, tafuta moja muache huko aishi na wenzake na aambulie uridhi wa elimu bora.

Kwa mtizamo wangu kama ***** hajatulia akikaa na mwanao kuna uwezekano mkubwa wa mtoto kuharibikiwa na kama anakaa uswahilini.

Sasa sijui kama una idea huyu mzazi mwenzio anaishi wapi ama mnawasiliana kwa email na simu tu.

Mbu said:

...namlaumu huyo binti aliyesimamisha nae 'usiku mmoja'. Inaonekana 'alimlengeshea' mwanajaamii wetu hapa, iweje hakuzijua siku zake za hatari bana?!

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sasa afanyeje kakutana na jamaa akamwambia yuko kikazi ulaya kwanini asimlengeshee?na hapo wote hawapendani demu naona anaangalia mfuko tu na huyo mtoto ni kama mtaji,ushauri wangu siku ingine usiviamini sana videmu vya uswazi,hilo lililokupata sasa inabidi udili nalo we kidume bwana huwezi kukosa uamuzi mpaka tukushauri la kufanya unalijua kalaghabaho

Bao3 said:

Kwani mimba inaingia mpaka muwe mmekutana mara ngapi?

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ninachomaanisha ni kwamba atakutanaje na mtu usiku mmoja yani kwa mara ya kwanza tu hawajuani vizuri alale naye bila kutumia kinga, hajipendi au alikuwa maelewa?