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My Time's UP?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by eRRy, Apr 16, 2010.

  1. eRRy

    eRRy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 16, 2010
    Joined: Jun 12, 2009
    Messages: 1,076
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    :target:
    A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

    Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

    God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
    After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

    While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

    Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
    "I thought you said I had another 43 years.
    Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"



    (You'll love this)




    God replied:

    "I didn't recognize you!"
     
  2. Eliphaz the Temanite

    Eliphaz the Temanite JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 16, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]"Mungu si mtu, aseme uongo, Wala si mwanadamu, ajute; Iwapo amesema, hatalitenda? Iwapo amenena hatalifikiliza?" ([/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]Hesabu 23:19)[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1][/SIZE][/FONT]
    Usifanye Mzaha na kulitaja taja bure jina la Bwana Mungu wako. Kadri unavyo waheshimu wazazi wako na ya kwamba hutawataja katika mizaha, vivyo hivyo inakupasa kumheshimu Mungu Maana anasitahili kuheshimiwa!
    Makerubu wanaozunguka Kiti cha Enzi cha Mungu hufunika nyuso zao kwa heshima kuu, na humwabudu Mungu na kuimba mtakatifu mtakatifu......
     
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