Maariage is Forever

[mojoki]

In our society marriage is the structure people use to create
a stable family unit. A man and woman marry with the
intention of staying together for life. Within that bond they
usually have children and raise them. This arrangement is
good for the children. It guarantees that the two parents are
totally committed to the children and to each other.
I can remember thinking as a teenager that marriage would
be natural and easy. You fall in love and then you get
married and you live happily ever after. Right? It turns out
that that view of the world is a little naïve because it leaves
out the most important part. To my teenage mind marriage
was about love. To an adult, marriage is about commitment.
It is about staying in love and staying together for a lifetime
despite the fact that both partners are individuals who
change over time. Marriage itself is easy. Two people can
get married any time they want. The challenge of marriage
is making it work for a lifetime.
The question you might have as a teenager is, "What could
possibly be hard about being married? What could possibly
be ‘challenging’ about it? Once I find a person who I am
madly in love with and who is madly in love with me,
marriage will be easy. Our love will keep us together no
matter what happens." What I would like to do in this
chapter is suggest to you several reasons why marriage can
be challenging, and show you why marriage is a big step
that should not be taken lightly.
Understanding the Challenge of Marriage
The first few months of most marriages is easy. This phase
is called the "honeymoon phase" and may last up to a year.
The honeymoon phase exists because the couple is enjoying
the significant advantages of being married: living together,
being together constantly, looking toward the future as a
team, planning a family, sexual intimacy, trust, closeness
and so on. The honeymoon phase is also aided by the effects
of romantic love, which tend to mask problems and
differences. The honeymoon period starts to end as the
couple comes to the realization that marriage lasts a
lifetime. Let’s look at some of the things that make a life-
long marriage interesting:
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. This commitment can
have a tremendous number of advantages: stability,
financial strength and unity, infinite trust, etc. However, it
can have a paralyzing disadvantage if one or both parties
decides to abuse the commitment. Imagine a person who is
told, "We are giving you your job for life—you can never be
fired." Most people will continue to do a good job, but a few
people would take that message as a cue to become
extremely lazy. Marriage can cause the same effect. Both
partners have to work hard to avoid complacency.
Marriage means that everything is shared. Sharing means
that every major decision involves a team decision. If both
parties do not agree, then conflict arises. Most people enjoy
having a certain amount of freedom in their lives. Marriage
instead forces a great deal of compromise. If two people
have different spending habits (i.e., one likes saving money
and the other likes spending it), it can cause immense
strain.
Marriage involves being with the same person for long
periods of time. While the couple is still "in love," this is
easy. Once romantic love’s effects wear off and the
relationship is driven more by friendship than sexual
attraction, however, little habits can become irritating.
Imagine living in an RV with your best friend for 10 years.
After awhile even your best friend can become annoying.
Countering this natural effect requires skill and creativity.
Marriage is something like a big amplifier. When things are
going well, the team effect of marriage makes them go very
well. When a marriage works it is a source of infinite peace
and joy. However, when things are not working marriage
tends to amplify things in a negative direction. It can make
bad things worse because it can create a trap.
Have you ever noticed that many married couples spend a
lot of time fighting? Have you ever wondered why that
happens? It happens because at any given moment the two
people in the marriage may want to do two different things
that are mutually exclusive. For example:
You want to go to your best friend’s wedding while your
spouse wants to go to "the big game" on the same day.
You want to go to church but your spouse wants to stay
home on Sunday morning.
You want the house to be neat but your spouse does not
care.
You want to buy a new car but your spouse wants to save
the money and continue fixing the old one.
You want to live close to your family but so does your
spouse, and the families live 1,000 miles apart.
You want to buy a new riding lawn mower but your spouse
wants a new sofa.
You want to paint the house blue but your spouse prefers
yellow.
You want to spend extra time at work but your spouse
wants you to be home for dinner.
Imagine facing one or two situations like this every day, day
in and day out, for 50 years. That is what makes marriage
challenging. That is why you want to pick a good marriage
partner. If you can find someone who will work with you
daily and love you enough to solve all of the "little problems"
that arise naturally in a marriage, then you will have a
successful marriage that brings you joy throughout your life.
All the best to all my family and friends who r looking
forward for this...:-*

 

[Mahmetkid]

Thanks alot, it is a good as far as marriage concerned.

 

[nipeukweli]

...ntarudi

 

[Tetra]

In those days not nowdays