mwekundu
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 4, 2013
- 21,859
- 19,700
This gay thing seems to be everywhere now. However, it is not celebrated in Nigeria or most African countries, but that does not mean it does not exist here. Some gay men, like recently out-of-the-closet NBA player Jason Collins, are the average, athletic, masculine men who date women.
Even Collins ex said she had no idea that he was gay. So, what is a woman with such a case to do? There is no sure-fire way to tell if your man might secretly be into men, but here are a few clues that you might want to look out for, if you have your suspicions.
1. Effeminate Tendencies
Lets be clear: not all men who display effeminate qualities are gay. But most men are aware of things women typically do and try to avoid doing them. If he walks with a sway, like a woman would, or has a dainty way about him that seems to come naturally, you might want to keep an eye open. Again, some men simply have a way about them that comes off as feminine, but you know the difference between feminine and secretly wanting to be a girl.
2. Overly Sensitive
Again, just because a man is sensitive doesnt mean hes gay, and honestly, most women wish their men were a bit more caring and affectionate. But if your man is overly emotional and cries at the drop of a hat, then he should be checked.
One cant automatically assume that a man who expresses himself in an emotional way is homoséxual, just like there is no way of telling that a manly-man is straight. A man, who is gentle and caring, is a great catch, but an overly sensitive man may be one of several indicators that he prefers men over women. Not a fact, just an observation.
3. Loves Guy Adult Videos
The first two examples given could go either way, but a man who watches gay male adult videos should be a flashing signal that your man might be gay. Whether he watches it openly or you discover it, you may want to ask him what his fascination is with watching men have séx.
Its one thing to stumble across it while searching through adult video sites, and another to actually enjoy watching it regularly. The main reason people watch adult videos is to become aroused, so if watching other men have séx éxcites him, you probably have an answer as to whether or not your man is gay.
4. Homophobic Behaviour
Sure, there are some men who are turned off by homoséxuality, but they usually can keep their feelings to themselves and keep it moving. As long as no gay men hit on them or disrespect them in any way, theyre cool and probably even have gay friends. But if your man displays extremely homophobic behaviour when none is warranted, then he could be hiding something.
Sometimes, down low men try to lash out at other gay men to take the suspicion off themselves. By making gay jokes or if he seems particularly angry towards gay men or their behaviour for no apparent reason, he could be trying to throw you off his scent.
5. He Cross-dresses
Some men can try to put on his womans clothes as a joke, but not too many straight men find any humour in that. This is not for the actors, but its about the guy you catch wearing your teddy, bra, panties, blouses and your lipstick when you come home early unexpectedly. That dude. Again, he may just have some freaky fantasies, but he also could secretly wish he was a woman too.
6. Flirts With Men
There is no one straight man that ogles or flirts with other men, so this just seems like an obvious one to me. Sure, your man may be friendly towards everyone, but if he seems overly complimentary of a guys physical appearance, touches them or winks at another dude even if he says hes just being playful run for the hills.
7. Calls From Men
Most women know who their mans male friends are, and your man talking to them regularly on the phone is no big deal. But if he gets a ridiculous amount of calls from random men that you dont know, or that he had never mentioned to you before, it might be time to put up a red flag. If these are not business calls, but seemingly lingering or personal calls, you better be a bit concerned and ask him about it.
8. One Special Friend
Its not weird for a man to have a best friend. But if he spends more alone time with one particular man than he does with you, thats cause for concern. If they go out to watch the game every week or play basketball, cool.
But if theyre holed up somewhere for hours at a time, or seem to take several vacations together that dont include you and another woman, you might want to consider that they have a level of intimacy that goes above a romance. Most men save that time for their woman, not their male friend. Youll just have to go with your gut on this one. So, if you think something is up, it probably is.La
