Hahahaaaaaaaaaa! Umeonaaaaa! Njia ya muongo ni fupi! Umenikumbusha stori ya moja ya msela wangu mmoja Muhay!
Muhaya bana tukiwa chuo ana cousin wake yuko states akamtupia kasimu touch sikumbuki ni mdel gani! Basi tulihama mji! Sasa siku pande za Mcity kwenye shopping akamkuta Demu kisu cha hatari nae ana mashine kama ile ile yake! Daaaaaah! Akaborak kichizi! Akaona hataaa! Aende akamshobokee yule shori!
Kufika pale kwanza mashine kaishika mkononi! Demu kucheki mashine akawa kamsoma shalo tinatina. Basi ndo kuanza kuimbisha una simu kama yangu na nini, na kuchukua namba! (Hio simu ilikuwa ya bei ndefuuuu) Kuchat chat na nini ikakubaliwa Demu atamtreat jamaaa! Basi jamaa akajua fresh tu kawaida! Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Matusi yake alikoma!
Demu kaja na ki BMW kipyaaaa! Jamaa jasho lilimtoka almanusura kuzimia! Akapelekwa movie na nini, wakatoka demu akamtoa jamaa kama viwanja 5 vya maana usiku mzima! Anachop tu money! Hawazi! Jamaa kuja kurudi ikabidi aite jopo kutangaza kuwa ule Moto wa Makaaa ya mawe anajivua gamba na kujiweka pembeni! Akapampiwa asitishike na nyau! He is a disgrace to Haya mankind! Ukoo mukubwa ule! His ancestors would be offended!
Akaamua kuipa 1 more try! Na kutreat yeye! Sasa akaenda kuchukua Benz ya ze uncle! Kuiga kunya kwa tembo! Usiku ukaenda fresh tu, kimbembe saa ya kurudi! Kapigwa pasi ya maana na daladala! Kibenzi chunikaaaaaa! Asubuhi yuko garage kuullizia rangi! Weeeeeeee! Hio rangi ilichimbaje kwenye kiboom! Hana hamu! Na hakuwasiliana tenaaa na yule demu!
Maam tsup with all these
Was just acknowledgement to your capacity and experience!!!!
Any nerve scratch!!!
Uongo una nafasi kubwa sn unapomtaka demu. Ni kuchagua tu uongo gani uutumie kwa dem yupi, inakua very simple. Ukiwa na shaka kwamba uongo wako unaweza uka-fail, tumia kikamilifu sifa yako moja kubwa (unique) ulionayo na unayoiamini. Haiwezekani demu achomoke mbele ya mshkaji, labda demu ackupe nafac kbs kbs yakuongea nae.
lara 1 thanks
Kwa kipi?
Mmmmmmmmmh! Nakubaliana na wewe kwenye principle ya Never Underestimate Your Opponent! Lazima umsome mpinzani wako vizuri.
Ha ha haaaa..unadhani wanapenda uongo??!!!
No waaaay,wanapenda vitu vizuri tu,expensive au vinavyoonekana na kuvutia wengi hata kama yeye hana faida nacho saaaaana kwa maisha yake???!!
Mdanganye tena kuw umefukuzwa kazi,umepewa notice kwenye nyumba ya ofisi,wewe hujajenga na kwa kuwa umefukuzwa kwa sababu ya matumizi mabaya ya ofisi una kesi mahakamani kwa hiyo mganga wako kakuambia upeleke ulimi wa mtu ili akufanyie dawa urudie kama awali.
Then you will come to term if they like lies or only sweet impressing stuffs
Kwa mfano, huyo jamaa aliekutana demu m/city, alivoona matuc ya demu hakupaswa kujibu mapigo, ilibidi atumie njia mbadala. Sasa kama silaha yake ni pesa tu, kuna mazingira ndo kama hayo mtu anashindwa kuplay the game. Isitoshe c wote wanababaika na mshiko, make sure unamsoma vzr at the very early stages..
Hahahaaaaaaa! HILI HASWA NDO LINAAMUA NANI PLAYER NANI WONT GET ANY!!!!!!! It all counts down to msichana gani umekutana nae!
kwahio wewe hujawahi kunaswa na mtu kwa fix zake???
Nimewahi tena mara nyingi ILA ZILITUMIA AKILI NYINGI sio kizembe na NILISTUKA IN NO TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Mfano mtu anakwambia NA IMPORT vitu toka Turkey, kumbe ananunua tu kwa importer kwa whole sales. Ni ngumu kumshika.
Coz kweli vitu anavyo, make yurkey inaonekana kwenye box, uchache wa vitu anakwambi hapa out of security siweki mali nyingi, mali iko godown nje ya mji. It will take time kujua huyu ni whole seller!
and why would bother to find out if he is REAL WHOLESALER or not???and if he has cash[at least to run a wholesaler lifestyle for a period needed to bed you] would you suspect him???mind you i can borrow a range rover/bmw/benz for a month from friends......utanasa tu plus passport ina visa za uk,us,turkey,china.....my aim here is not to have a relationship,just to hit u.......
Hahahaaaaaaaaaa! Hapo kutaka kujifanya una akili kunizidi ndo utakapoharibu! What do you mean i shouldnt find out? Ofcourse i must find out? Because if i dont na kinila atajiona ana akili sanaa kunizidi n that insults my EGO! If i found out prior and he finds out that i found out, hata nikilala nae he will give me credit of not being so stupid n naive!!!!
Ukiazima gari ndo usinijaribi kabisaaaaaaaaa
Qn. 1 He si Range rover sport ya 2011, limited edition flani? (Uongo mtupu!!!!!). Kama gari si yako na hujazoea magari lazima kigugumizi kikushike.
Qn. 2 Hivi service unafanyiaga wapi, na mara ya mwisho umefanya lini manake this is a delicate babe? (Hapo nimechungulia kikaratasi cha usukani) Ukikwepa gari sio lako
Qn 3. Hivi huu mchma full tank lita ngapi zaingi na /km inakula kiasi gani manake navoiona inakulaaaaa? Ukikwepa hamna kitu!
Zoezi dogo tu, nakutime nafungua droo nasoma kadi la gari! Ukirudi nishajua sio tu kuwa sio lako bali ni la nani?
Tena Passport ndo kabisaaa, i can tell a fake passport n a fake visa stamp hata usingizini coz niko kwenye harakati za kuzamia kitambo sanaaa. Ukiazima picha, jina, vitakuumbua
Hitting me NEEDS YOU TO BE SMARTER THAN ME or JUST CUT THE CHASE AND ACCEPT IM SMARTER THAN YOU mambo mengine yataendelea.
yaani hayo maswali yako ndio rahisi kuliko kitu chochot......i dont have RR but i can tell every detail,from where i do service to mpg.....btw watu wengi tu wana visa za us/uk/turkey/china na sio wholesaler/matajiri mimi mmoja wao....sasa ukiangalia passport itakula kwako.....card ya gari inakaa kwenye glovebox always iko locked....or i can say nimenunua sijabadili jina sitaki kulipia transfer.....more questions....mind nishafanya homework........hitting you not you lara1 exactly....ni mlengwa yoyote ambae inaonekana sarakasi inahitajika..........
Wakuu,
Nimekuwa nasaka rafiki wa kike lakini dah, kila msichana ninayekutana naye nikimweleza yangu ya moyoni kiukweli anakuwa mbishi, haambiliki, hasikii! Mara nina mchumba, mara oh, sitaki mahusiano kwa sasa! Mara kwani wewe unafanya kazi gani? Ukimwambia ukweli ndio huyo kapotea humpati tena! Sasa nikajiuliza tatizo ni nini?
Nikagundua ya kwamba huwa nawaambia ukweli. Sasa nikajiambia, weka pembeni ukweli kwa muda.
Siku moja nikakutana na mdada fulani mrembo halafu mtanashati, nikamsalimia halafu nikaonyesha nina haraka sana, yaani hata sekunde ya kuongea naye sina mpaka yeye mwenyewe alishtuka; halafu nikamwomba namba haraka, halafu nikachomekea "u look so understanding", akatabasamu, bila kujiuliza akanipa namba. Kumbuka sikumbeep, ila mara tu tulipoachana nikampigia, nikageuka fasta ili nione kama anapokea kuhakikisha kama alinipa namba yake kweli.
Alivyopokea nikamwambia ahsante kwa kunipa namba yako nitakupigia baadaye. Over
Baadaye jioni nikampigia, mazungumzo yakawa kama hivi:
mimi: Hi (Ujue madada wengi wanapenda kusikiliza kiingereza hata kama cha kuchapia)
yeye: How are you, are you fine?
mm: I'm well
yeye: Kwani ulikuwa unaenda wapi mbona ulikuwa na haraka hivi? (Nikasema yes, kajiingiza mwenyewe!)
mimi: Nilikuwa naenda ubalozi wa Uingereza kucheki kama visa yangu imetoka (Ah wapi, mie hata sijui ubalozi uko wapi!)
yeye: Are you travelling to UK, for what?
mimi: I'm having a meeting in London next Tuesday. You know, I'm bored with these so many ----ing trips! (Ah wapi, sijawahi kwenda popote, wadada wakati mwingine wanapenda dirty language - unaona, jamani hiki kizazi!)
yeye: Sawa so kuna, nini huko?
mimi: Ye know, this Barclays thing, ts a business meeting anyway (Ukijihusisha na bank si wanajua hela zote za bank ni zako! Shauri yao)
yeye: Kwa hiyo wewe ndio nani Barclays sasa?
mimi: A minute pls? Want to pick a call from Newyork, it is important, sorry!
yeye: Ok
Baada ya muda nikampigia tena
mimi: Hello
yeye: Yap
mimi: Another trip again,
yeye: Wapi?
mimi: Newyork, this is purely shit, I need to rest! I can't be travelling all over the world even if I'm being paid! (NY wapi, hapahapa Dar!)
yeye: Kweli? (Akataka kushtuka!)
mimi: Hizi safari ni za kawaida sana kwangu dear, sema tu wakati mwingine zinaboa sana, yaani mtu hata haupumziki! Hata kama ni hela jamani, this is too much! (Za kawaida! Atajaza mwenyewe, safari ya kwa Ob mchezo!)
yeye: Pole dear, ndio kazi utafanyeje! (Kaanza kuuvaa mkenge sasa!)
mimi: Thank you
yeye: Kwa hiyo ukienda utarudi lini?
mimi: One to two weeks. Thank you for a talk, I will call you when I'm in London. Bye
yeye: Nakutakia safari njema my dear. Bye
mimi: Kwa kweli nitakuwa "extremely" busy kwa sababu ya maandalizi ya mkutano, usishangae nisipokuwa hewani! See you when I'm back
yeye:
Sasa nilimpigia kwa kutumia skype credit, alivyoona namba la ajabu ajabu si akajua nipo London! Kumbe mie napiga zangu kutoka Tandika! Kwisha habari yake!
Story itaendelea
Jamani hii ni ajabu na kweli! How comes "uwongo" works so perfectly kuliko "ukweli"?
Aaaaaaaaaa wapi! We unajifariji tu!
Haya maswali yanajibika ila KILA GARI LINA DETAILS ZAKE SPECIFIC HAZIINGILIANI unless gari ni lako! Kama tarehe ya service sio kitu utachokuwa umekifikiria nitakuuliza, so ukitoa yoyote itacontadict na ile karatasi ya service schedule.
Swala la wewe kuwa na Visa umeingiza saivi (USISAHAU TOPIC NI KUWA HUNA HIVO VITU UNANIPIGA FIX)
Hio umenunua hujabdili i wont buy it! NITAJUA KUAZIMA.COM! And even if i do buy it, nitnvestigate further, lazima ni irun plate number TRA nijue imesajiliwa kwa nani? (Mashosti wakazi gani kama sio kukupa umbea) Insurance nijue iko kwa jina la nani? Na ililipwa lini last time. Nikiona suspicion zinazidi HENCE PROVED!!!!!!!!!!!
You will never Hit me, unless you tell the truth or No suspicions.
kuna pro liars....uongo karibu na ukweli.....no suspicions every detail adds up.....mtu akikuamulia utanasa