lara 1
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 10, 2012
- 15,700
- 29,210
Anyeonghaseyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
The longanticipated piece from me is finally here! Niliahidi kesho but sitokuwa na mda, a man is as good as his word nimeona nilishushe tonight kwanza watu mmelala wengi, afu mkiamka tu mnalikuta! Haters jamani n conservatives you dont have to read this! Unaweza kuachia hapo! But we all know you will read to the end! Hahahaaa! And hate on me n the piece ofcourse!
DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL ila mada hii haitohusisha kwa namna yoyote ile wagonjwa, walemavu, taasisi za dini, na watu wote wenye majangas ambayo kwa namna yoyote yanawazuia kuoa au kuolewa! Mungu awatie nguvu sanaaa! Ila inahusisha watu wote waliobakia unmarried, wazima wa afya, wanazini zini tu, wanajishauri, wamesusa WHATSOEVER! I INSIST DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL! Hahahaaa!
SIJAMPATA MTU WA KUMUOA/KUNIOA TUNAYEENDANA/NILIERIDHIKA NAE! This is themost popular excuse, and yes i mean EXCUSE , the most favourite of most Single people! And it is the lamest, Selfish, non challant, and absurd of all times! It is simply a NO EXCUSE forced tobecome an excuse.
Mmmmmmh! Haya maneno ni matokeo ya HIGHEST LEVELS OF SELFISHNESS AND UMIMINISM! Kwa hio all the brothers and sisters are not GOOD ENOUGH for you? What makes you so special? What makes you better than them brothers n sisters asking for your hand in marriage? So there are people but NOT GOOD ENOUGH for your so smart tight a.ss? Mmmmmmh! Ukiulizwa why dont you marry Free P, poor Mikey, the boy loves you! He can sweep the ocean for you! Naaaaaaaah! Mikey is so poor, his future is over before its even here! Its too risky! I like Mikey a little but My parent wont be happy with Mikes peeps! Little does your lonely a.ss remember aliempa Mikey wazazi wasio na hela ndo akupa wewe wazazi wenye hela ya kubadili mboga! Mikey i human too, maisha tu haya ndo yanagomba! Okay Mikey is a looser we all agree how about you marry Abdul! He is a hardworker, his future is promiing too! 2 MA aint a joke the boy is goin somwhere! Abdul is too ugly! He is not a looker at all? Little does your lonely a.ss remembe Abdul hajajiumba na hawezi kujiboresha! Aliekupa wewe u beauty ndo kamnyima Abdul! Fine how about Juma? Anakufata miaka na miaka! Jumaaa! The Juma next door? You cant be serious! Juma banaaa hata kama nimekosa, mtu tumekua wote, haina hata mzuka, siwezi kumuheshimu, kwanza namuona kaa kaka yangu tu! Are you serious? Hivo hivo itatajwa rejesta nzima mpaka walio wahi kukubipu YET NO BODY IS GOOD ENOUGH! SERIOUSLY.? Hahahaaaaaaaa! You are really something arent you? Your a.ss must really be VERY VERY SPECIAL! All them peeps and no body, not just even one is good enough for you? Hahahaaaa!
Kila mtu mzima ana watu lazima wanaintrest nae, sema ile kujiona tuko bora zaidi ya hao watu ndo kunaleta mushkeli!
Kuna siku miombeaji alisema wadada mnaohitaji ndoa, kama huna watu walau 3 wanaokupigia pigia wakuoe toka mbele nikiombeee! Holalaaaaaa! Wanaotaka waume ila sio watu waliopo na hawana vigezo msururu ulienda unaambiwa! Akawauliza nyie mnataka watu gani? Washuke toka juu ama? Manake watu ni hawa hawa kuridhika tu! Embu shop kwenye rejection liat yako kama hujashangaa! Hahahaaa! (I dont agree with this myself FOR NOW since i still have faith with my fate, ila ndo ukweli wa maisha huu! Huu ubora tunaojipa wala haupo kiuhalisia upo vichwani mwetu tu!)
IN THE MEANTIME BUSINESS pia ni moja ya mediocracy ya single people! Sawa bado hujata mtu, unasubiri mtu sahihi, i respect that ni haki yako kijamii kuwa na mtu ulie ridhika nae! But hii mambo ya nikiwa nangoje mtu atokee basi najishikiza na hawa nawaita IN THE MEANTIME almaarufu kama TEMPORARY au KATA KITU, unajua kabisaaaa KUWAOA AU KUOLEWA NAO NI IMPOSSIBLE but you go out with them anyway just in the meantime till Mr/Mrs. Right comes along! Yaani kupitisha mda tu na kumalizana hamu! Hahahahaaaaa! Wengine ndo vile vibuziiii vyetu vya kula ujana, uzee waja, au mibaba ile, au dogo dogo. Hapa panakiwaga patamu si utani coz vigezo na masharti havizingatiwi! Hahahaaa! THE WORST CASE SCENARIO NI PALE WEWE UKO BUSY NA IN THE MEANTIME ISSUE WAKO, MR/MRS RIGHT IS WATCHING YOU ALL THIS TIME, MATTER OF FACT HAS BEEN WATCHING YOU ALL THIS WHILE, WAITING FOR A CHANCE TO MOVE IN, MAKE YOU HIS OR HERS BUT THE SPACE IS TAKEN 24/10 NA IN THE MEANTIME WAKO, MASKINI MR/MRS RIGHT ANABAKIA KUKOSA CHANCE, NA YALE MAMBO YAKO UNAYOFANYA WENYE MOYO MWEPESI WANAKATA TAMAAAA! Seriously! Kama unasubiria Tuliza mshono, kuwa na staha, jiheshimu of which is impossible, wembe ni ule ule wa IN THE MEANTIME BUSINESS!
GET ME THAT KIND OF LIFE! Hii inawahusu sanaa wadada! Sawa unataka kuolewa ila sio ukapange room 1 na mumeo mbangaizee! Akhaaaa! Unataka uolewe endapo tu utapata maisha flani! Hihihihihiiiiii! Muwe na huruma! Hajapata mtu wa kumuoa! Kwa watu waliomaliza chuo ndo wachaguzi balaaa sio kweli! Watu wanakuwepo sema uwezo mdogo! Wanataka waolewe na mtu awape maisha bora, nyumba, gari, hivo yani! Ila umuo mbangaize dhubutuuuuuu bora azeeke tu home! Hahahahaa! Mi nawaambia ukitaka kupewa maisha utasacrifise vigezo vingi mnooo! WHY DONT YOU GET YOURSELF THAT KIND OF LIFE!? Ukiwa na maisha yako kipata mwanaume msaidiane rahisi sanaaa! Mkijiunganisha mnaishi comfortably kabisaaa! Wanaume wamestukaaaa siku hizi nao akiwa na maisha anataka mtu mwenye maisha vile vile sio mzigo. Kabla hujataka makubwa jiulize wewe una nini kwanza?
The PERFECTIONISTS! Jawa ni wale ambao wanataka EVERYTHING JAS TO BE PERFECT! Kama mkaka atataka mdada with perfect face, perfect shape, perfect education, perfect family, perfect background, perfect manners, etc etc khaaaaaaaaaaa! Na mwanamke nae hivo hivo vigezo lukuki! Na ukidate nao hawa MISS/MR PERFECT LAZIMA UWE UMEJIPANGA NA UNAFANYA KILA KITU PERFECTLY AS EXPECTED OF YOU! Haswaaa watu wenye uwezo kidogo ndo wqna tabia hiii! Makosa makosa hayavumiliwi kabisaaa! Ukikosea kidogo ITS OVER! Mkwaruzano kidogo BASI TUACHANE, yaani unakuwa huna amani moyoni kukaa na hawa viumbe! Ukitaka ndo uwanyenyekee kama Mungu vile! Afu wgumu kusamehe wala kuomba msamaha! Mi nawaitaga tight a.ss manake ukiwa nao your a.ss can never relax arround them! Hahahahahaaaaaa! Sasa hapa unajikuta huna vigezo afu unangangania!? Wenyewe mnaita kukomaaa! Unawakana ndugu zako, rafiki, kutwaa kutry to FIT IN. Mwisho ndo unakuwa USHAJOPOTEZEA MDAAAA WA KUTOSHA! Unakaa miaka 8, 10 na mtu holaaaa! You were never perfect to begin with! VYAMOTO MUWE MNAVITEMAAA!
UKIMCHAGUA MWENZA MBAYA/ASIEKUFAA NI MAKOSA YAKO KABISAA! Wala usijivictimise ooh nimetendwa! Well nakuhurumia kidogo lakini NAUHAKIKA ALL THIS TIME MWENZIO ALIKIWA ANAKUONESHA HE IS NOTHING BUT A LOOSER, HAKUFAI KWA MBOLEA LAKINI UNAKUWA UNA REFUSE KUONA, KWA KUAMINI UNACHO WISH MOYONI MWAKO, NA KUMIONA UNAVOTAKA KUMIONA! Aaaaaah! Mwishoe anakufungia kazi kukufungashia virago hapo umepoyeza miak 5, 6 etc. Ukitulia sasa ndo unaanza kuusoma mchezo ulivoenda mwanzo mwisho na kuona mda wote ulokuwa unapewa hint na indicator sema hukuzisoma!
HII MEDIOCRACY NI NDEFU NI PANA MNOOOOO! Nitajaza saver zooote! Ila kwa watu single kuna MEDIOCRACY YA KILA AINA!
Naomba niishie hapa kwa leo! Karibuni kuchangia yenu!
The longanticipated piece from me is finally here! Niliahidi kesho but sitokuwa na mda, a man is as good as his word nimeona nilishushe tonight kwanza watu mmelala wengi, afu mkiamka tu mnalikuta! Haters jamani n conservatives you dont have to read this! Unaweza kuachia hapo! But we all know you will read to the end! Hahahaaa! And hate on me n the piece ofcourse!
DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL ila mada hii haitohusisha kwa namna yoyote ile wagonjwa, walemavu, taasisi za dini, na watu wote wenye majangas ambayo kwa namna yoyote yanawazuia kuoa au kuolewa! Mungu awatie nguvu sanaaa! Ila inahusisha watu wote waliobakia unmarried, wazima wa afya, wanazini zini tu, wanajishauri, wamesusa WHATSOEVER! I INSIST DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL! Hahahaaa!
SIJAMPATA MTU WA KUMUOA/KUNIOA TUNAYEENDANA/NILIERIDHIKA NAE! This is themost popular excuse, and yes i mean EXCUSE , the most favourite of most Single people! And it is the lamest, Selfish, non challant, and absurd of all times! It is simply a NO EXCUSE forced tobecome an excuse.
Mmmmmmh! Haya maneno ni matokeo ya HIGHEST LEVELS OF SELFISHNESS AND UMIMINISM! Kwa hio all the brothers and sisters are not GOOD ENOUGH for you? What makes you so special? What makes you better than them brothers n sisters asking for your hand in marriage? So there are people but NOT GOOD ENOUGH for your so smart tight a.ss? Mmmmmmh! Ukiulizwa why dont you marry Free P, poor Mikey, the boy loves you! He can sweep the ocean for you! Naaaaaaaah! Mikey is so poor, his future is over before its even here! Its too risky! I like Mikey a little but My parent wont be happy with Mikes peeps! Little does your lonely a.ss remember aliempa Mikey wazazi wasio na hela ndo akupa wewe wazazi wenye hela ya kubadili mboga! Mikey i human too, maisha tu haya ndo yanagomba! Okay Mikey is a looser we all agree how about you marry Abdul! He is a hardworker, his future is promiing too! 2 MA aint a joke the boy is goin somwhere! Abdul is too ugly! He is not a looker at all? Little does your lonely a.ss remembe Abdul hajajiumba na hawezi kujiboresha! Aliekupa wewe u beauty ndo kamnyima Abdul! Fine how about Juma? Anakufata miaka na miaka! Jumaaa! The Juma next door? You cant be serious! Juma banaaa hata kama nimekosa, mtu tumekua wote, haina hata mzuka, siwezi kumuheshimu, kwanza namuona kaa kaka yangu tu! Are you serious? Hivo hivo itatajwa rejesta nzima mpaka walio wahi kukubipu YET NO BODY IS GOOD ENOUGH! SERIOUSLY.? Hahahaaaaaaaa! You are really something arent you? Your a.ss must really be VERY VERY SPECIAL! All them peeps and no body, not just even one is good enough for you? Hahahaaaa!
Kila mtu mzima ana watu lazima wanaintrest nae, sema ile kujiona tuko bora zaidi ya hao watu ndo kunaleta mushkeli!
Kuna siku miombeaji alisema wadada mnaohitaji ndoa, kama huna watu walau 3 wanaokupigia pigia wakuoe toka mbele nikiombeee! Holalaaaaaa! Wanaotaka waume ila sio watu waliopo na hawana vigezo msururu ulienda unaambiwa! Akawauliza nyie mnataka watu gani? Washuke toka juu ama? Manake watu ni hawa hawa kuridhika tu! Embu shop kwenye rejection liat yako kama hujashangaa! Hahahaaa! (I dont agree with this myself FOR NOW since i still have faith with my fate, ila ndo ukweli wa maisha huu! Huu ubora tunaojipa wala haupo kiuhalisia upo vichwani mwetu tu!)
IN THE MEANTIME BUSINESS pia ni moja ya mediocracy ya single people! Sawa bado hujata mtu, unasubiri mtu sahihi, i respect that ni haki yako kijamii kuwa na mtu ulie ridhika nae! But hii mambo ya nikiwa nangoje mtu atokee basi najishikiza na hawa nawaita IN THE MEANTIME almaarufu kama TEMPORARY au KATA KITU, unajua kabisaaaa KUWAOA AU KUOLEWA NAO NI IMPOSSIBLE but you go out with them anyway just in the meantime till Mr/Mrs. Right comes along! Yaani kupitisha mda tu na kumalizana hamu! Hahahahaaaaa! Wengine ndo vile vibuziiii vyetu vya kula ujana, uzee waja, au mibaba ile, au dogo dogo. Hapa panakiwaga patamu si utani coz vigezo na masharti havizingatiwi! Hahahaaa! THE WORST CASE SCENARIO NI PALE WEWE UKO BUSY NA IN THE MEANTIME ISSUE WAKO, MR/MRS RIGHT IS WATCHING YOU ALL THIS TIME, MATTER OF FACT HAS BEEN WATCHING YOU ALL THIS WHILE, WAITING FOR A CHANCE TO MOVE IN, MAKE YOU HIS OR HERS BUT THE SPACE IS TAKEN 24/10 NA IN THE MEANTIME WAKO, MASKINI MR/MRS RIGHT ANABAKIA KUKOSA CHANCE, NA YALE MAMBO YAKO UNAYOFANYA WENYE MOYO MWEPESI WANAKATA TAMAAAA! Seriously! Kama unasubiria Tuliza mshono, kuwa na staha, jiheshimu of which is impossible, wembe ni ule ule wa IN THE MEANTIME BUSINESS!
GET ME THAT KIND OF LIFE! Hii inawahusu sanaa wadada! Sawa unataka kuolewa ila sio ukapange room 1 na mumeo mbangaizee! Akhaaaa! Unataka uolewe endapo tu utapata maisha flani! Hihihihihiiiiii! Muwe na huruma! Hajapata mtu wa kumuoa! Kwa watu waliomaliza chuo ndo wachaguzi balaaa sio kweli! Watu wanakuwepo sema uwezo mdogo! Wanataka waolewe na mtu awape maisha bora, nyumba, gari, hivo yani! Ila umuo mbangaize dhubutuuuuuu bora azeeke tu home! Hahahahaa! Mi nawaambia ukitaka kupewa maisha utasacrifise vigezo vingi mnooo! WHY DONT YOU GET YOURSELF THAT KIND OF LIFE!? Ukiwa na maisha yako kipata mwanaume msaidiane rahisi sanaaa! Mkijiunganisha mnaishi comfortably kabisaaa! Wanaume wamestukaaaa siku hizi nao akiwa na maisha anataka mtu mwenye maisha vile vile sio mzigo. Kabla hujataka makubwa jiulize wewe una nini kwanza?
The PERFECTIONISTS! Jawa ni wale ambao wanataka EVERYTHING JAS TO BE PERFECT! Kama mkaka atataka mdada with perfect face, perfect shape, perfect education, perfect family, perfect background, perfect manners, etc etc khaaaaaaaaaaa! Na mwanamke nae hivo hivo vigezo lukuki! Na ukidate nao hawa MISS/MR PERFECT LAZIMA UWE UMEJIPANGA NA UNAFANYA KILA KITU PERFECTLY AS EXPECTED OF YOU! Haswaaa watu wenye uwezo kidogo ndo wqna tabia hiii! Makosa makosa hayavumiliwi kabisaaa! Ukikosea kidogo ITS OVER! Mkwaruzano kidogo BASI TUACHANE, yaani unakuwa huna amani moyoni kukaa na hawa viumbe! Ukitaka ndo uwanyenyekee kama Mungu vile! Afu wgumu kusamehe wala kuomba msamaha! Mi nawaitaga tight a.ss manake ukiwa nao your a.ss can never relax arround them! Hahahahahaaaaaa! Sasa hapa unajikuta huna vigezo afu unangangania!? Wenyewe mnaita kukomaaa! Unawakana ndugu zako, rafiki, kutwaa kutry to FIT IN. Mwisho ndo unakuwa USHAJOPOTEZEA MDAAAA WA KUTOSHA! Unakaa miaka 8, 10 na mtu holaaaa! You were never perfect to begin with! VYAMOTO MUWE MNAVITEMAAA!
UKIMCHAGUA MWENZA MBAYA/ASIEKUFAA NI MAKOSA YAKO KABISAA! Wala usijivictimise ooh nimetendwa! Well nakuhurumia kidogo lakini NAUHAKIKA ALL THIS TIME MWENZIO ALIKIWA ANAKUONESHA HE IS NOTHING BUT A LOOSER, HAKUFAI KWA MBOLEA LAKINI UNAKUWA UNA REFUSE KUONA, KWA KUAMINI UNACHO WISH MOYONI MWAKO, NA KUMIONA UNAVOTAKA KUMIONA! Aaaaaah! Mwishoe anakufungia kazi kukufungashia virago hapo umepoyeza miak 5, 6 etc. Ukitulia sasa ndo unaanza kuusoma mchezo ulivoenda mwanzo mwisho na kuona mda wote ulokuwa unapewa hint na indicator sema hukuzisoma!
HII MEDIOCRACY NI NDEFU NI PANA MNOOOOO! Nitajaza saver zooote! Ila kwa watu single kuna MEDIOCRACY YA KILA AINA!
Naomba niishie hapa kwa leo! Karibuni kuchangia yenu!
