Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Numbisa]

Wearing short skimpy skirts is not a problem, infact its very Sexy. The problem is wearing your Mini and looking all nice but when you see Guyz u try to Pull it down now forcing it to be long. Don't u see that u're deceiving yourself.

 

[Numbisa]

Screaming during Sex is romantic and its not a problem. The problem is Shouting words like; "JESUS: OOH MY GOD: HOLY MARY". U're having Sex, Not a Church Service. And besides i
don't know if u're reminding God to Punish you Later.

 

[Numbisa]

Kissing your man is not a problem. The problem is how you do it. Stop making Sounds like a car Crash.

 

[maliyamtu]

Wewe unaona hiyo ni sawa? Kupoteza pesa kujikinga wakati "matibabu" ni bure?

Ni utani tu bana. Daima kinga ni bora kuliko tiba

Nmecunja mbavu wallah

 

[Sir Khan]

Wale mnaosema riziki ni popote hebu kauze bangi kituo cha polisi

 

[logoff]

Once you hear a Lady saying my child is my everything.
Just know that the father ran away.

Fact

 

[logoff]

Wife: 'How would you describe me?'
Husband: 'ABCDEFGHIJK.'
Wife: 'What does that mean?'
Husband: 'Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.'
Wife: 'Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?'
Husband: 'I'm just kidding

My ribs

 

[koba lee]

BARABARANI + UPEPO MKALI+ KWENYE BODABODA

(Dereva Ananipigisha Story)

Dereva: Siku Moja Bwana Zhziskp abzizos. Zhsosnshzs Umeona
Me: Eeeeeh

Dereva: Si akaja osj uzusi laosa jlqozos We Unaonaje?
Me: Kweli Kabisa

Dereva: basi Sasa gUskosjbs lzosks
Me:Ndiooo

Daah mkuu umeua,na ni kwel kabisa

 

[Your Majesty]

*unampiga mkeo halafu unasingizia pombe*

*Brother mbona hiyo pombe haijakutuma ukafanye fujo jeshini*

Wahawahawahaaaaa

 

[Your Majesty]

CCM INAWATAKIA ASUBUHI NJEMA

Mmmhhhhhh

 

[Your Majesty]

Wale mnaosema riziki ni popote hebu kauze bangi kituo cha polisi

hata kichaa hawezi kufanya huo ukichaa

 

[Sir Khan]

Binti kapigiwa simu na namba ngeni
Simu:hallow una mpenzi?
Binti:ninaye kwani we nani?
Simu:mimi baba yako,kumbe una mpenzi ndio maana unafeli shuleni.Ukija likizo utanikoma mpumbavu wewe.(simu ikakata) wakati binti yuko kwenye mawazo simu ikaita,namba mpya tena
Simu:hallow,una mpenzi?
Binti:sina kabisa
Simu:ahaaa mpenzi kwahiyo umenisaliti,ni mimi mpenzi wako
Bintioh samahani mpenzi nilifikiri ni baba amenipigia
Simu:ni mimi baba yako nilikuwa nataka uhakika.....

 

[Mr Miller]

After a long night of making love,the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed.He's worried *Is this your husband?*,he asks nervously
*No,silly* she replies snuggling
" *ur boyfriend then?*
*no not all* she says nibbling away at his ears
" *OK!is it your dad or brother??*" he enquires further
*No that's me before my plastic surgery*
🤣🤣🤣🤣
We still need water to wake the man

hahaha thats disgusting!

 

[Numbisa]

Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!

 

[Numbisa]

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!

 

[Numbisa]

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”

A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"

 

[Numbisa]

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!

 

[Numbisa]

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!

 

[Numbisa]

HOW TO KEEP YOUR BOYFRIEND:
1. Give him respect
2. Love him with all your heart
3. Don't cheat on him
4. Call and text him always.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR GIRLFRIEND:
1. Give her money
2. I said give her money
3. Don't forget to give her money
4. My brother just give her money.
5. My brother am not joking, give her money

 

[Sir Khan]

Haya maisha bwana,shamba likiwa na bangi ni lako,halafu shamba likiwa na madini ni la serikali.