Dr Lizzy
Platinum Member
- May 25, 2009
- 30,821
- 59,411
Falling in love...
I believe that for many of us it's easier to fall IN love when we out of relationships and OUT of love when we are in relationships.
Kabla ya kumuweka mtu mikononi sauti yake tu inaburudisha akili, moyo na mwili...akiongea unatamani asimalize. Kila anachosema kinakukaa akilini, utani wake unachekesha na maneno matamu yanakuingia. Mkifikia kwenye kugusana, kushikana mikono tu kunatoa raha ya kipekee. Ukimuwaza/fikiria/kumbuka tabasamu na utulivu moyoni vitawala.
Ukisikia kakuongelea sehemu basi raha tupu alimradi kakuongelea kwa uzuri.
Majina kama mtarajiwa..mpenzi..wife(y)..hubby..laaziz..sweetness(heart)...love(r)...baby(ez) n.k yanashtua moyo na kuongeza mapigo mpaka pale mtu anapokua mwenzi. Hapo u-hubby/wife(y)/u-sweetness(heart)/upenzi na ulaaziz vinaondoka. His/her jokes stops being funny...his/her voice becomes annoying...the coolest things about him/her becomes boring etc. Hayo yote ni matokeo ya ku-fallOUT of love!
So what can we do to fall back IN love with the same partners over and over again instead of changing them the way we do shoes and clothes?!
1. Get him/her to miss you...and you to miss him/her.
Hii itafanya vile vitu ambavyo unaona ni annoying vipungue/potee kwa muda na kuanza kukosa vile vizuri ambavyo umeacha kuvitambua (acknowledge) kwakua akili yako yote ipo kwenye kukosoa na kuona usivyopenda.
2. Let him/her be who he/she is.
Attempting to change your partner is ALMOST an impossible task. Unless THEY WANNA change ofcourse...most of the time you'll end up dissapointed and bored for not getting your way.
3. Be easy on them.
Hamna mkamilifu kati yetu...sema tu mapungufu yanatofautiana uzito/ukubwa. Wengine wana mapungufu makubwa makubwa..na wengine madogo. Kama umemchagua akiwa alivyo jaribu kuridhika nae na kumkubali bila kusahau KUMUONYESHA hayo ili nae ajue.
4. Talk to him/her about NOthing..SOMEthing and EVERYthing.
Kabla ya kuwa pamoja/ingia ndoani wengi hua wanawasiliana na kuongea vizuri sana.. ila baada ya kuwekana pale walipotakana hua wanakua kama hawana lakuongea, usitoe nafasi ya nyie kuwa one of those couple with nothing to talk about...waliotawaliwa na ukimya.
5. Take him/her NOwhere..SOMEwhere and EVERYwhere. Spending time together outside your home(s) is healthy...mnapata nafasi ya kuwa pamoja maeneo ambayo hata kununiana haipendezi na kuboana haiwezekani. Unaweza ukajikuta unamuona mwenzako kama ulivyomuona mwanzo wa mahusiano yenu hata kama ni kwa masaa mawili!!
6. Mpe nafasi....
Yeahhh kuboana, kukasirishana(kasirikiana), kuangushana (LETTING each other DOWN), kukoseana, kuteleza n.k kupo sana ila hamna haa ya kukuza mambo. Ikitokea usiwe una hukumu mara moja bila utetezi wala uelewa. Mpe mwenzako nafasi ya kuweka sawa alipokosea pia kujirudi... akishindwa ndio ukasirike.
7. Ongoza..
Baada ya mikwaruzano ya hapa na pale baadhi huonekana wana viburi na wasiojali either kwa kushindwa kuomba samahani au kuanzisha/endeleza maongezi baada ya kuomba(ombwa) samahani. Hata kama wewe ndio mkosewaji muonyeshe mwenzako kwamba pamoja na kwamba kakukosea, pengine hata hasira hazijaisha bado unataka/penda kuongea nae kwakuanzisha maongezi wewe. KWEPA KUNUNA/NUNIANA KWA MASAA..SIKU MPAKA WIKI.
7. Usiwe mlalamikaji sana.
Kulalamika mara moja moja kwa vitu vya msingi SAWA...kila siku HAPANA.Utamfanya mwenzako aone kwamba hakutoshelezi iwe KIFIKRA, KIHISIA au hata KIMWILI.
8.Kumbuka....
Wengi hua hodari kweli wakukumbuka yale mabaya hata nyakati za furaha, tofauti na yale mazuri nyakati mbaya na za karaha. Utasikia katikati ya maongezi mazuri tu mtu anamuuliza mwenzake "Unakumbuka juzi ulivyonifanya(fanyia) hivi au vile mpaka sijui nikalia/kasirika sana/lala njaa/kataa kupika??!" kiasi cha kufikia kuharibu mood ila sio "Unakumbuka juzi ulivyofanya/nifanya/fanyia hivi au vile nikafurahi sana mpaka ikawa hivi au vile" wakati wa mifarakano. Try the later...inasaidia sana kurudisha amani.
9. Be a team player...
Don't be about ME..ME..ME..ME..ME!!!! If you are all about ME...ME..ME..ME.. stay single and out of committed/exclussive/official relationships untill you are ready for WE!
10. Be MORE of a lover and LESS of a mother/father.
Your partner is a grown up man/woman...and YES he/she might need a little push/change of direction/attitude every now and then but NOT everyday.Sio mtu unamuendesha mtu kwanzia asubuhi mpaka jioni...mambo ya kazi/kipato mpaka muda/jinsi anavyolala.Mruhusu hata asahau kufunga dawa ya mswaki au kutundika taulo baada ya kuoga.
11. Shukuru...
Pale mwenzako anapokufanyia lolote zuri onyesha appreciation..hata kama unaona/jua kwamba unastahili.
12. Mjulishe/mkumbushe umuhimu wake kwako.
13......
MPENDE...
MHESHIMU..
MUAMINI...
MTHAMINI...
MJALI...nk
Hata pale anapofanya/kinapotokea kitu kinachokufanya utamani kutokufanya hivyo.
14. USIJARIBU na kama tayari ACHA kumlinganisha na wanaume/wanawake wengine unaowafahamu/kutana nao unless yeye unamuweka juu. Kama hao wengine unawaona bora sana utaishia kumuona wako si lolote...si chochote.
I believe that for many of us it's easier to fall IN love when we out of relationships and OUT of love when we are in relationships.
Kabla ya kumuweka mtu mikononi sauti yake tu inaburudisha akili, moyo na mwili...akiongea unatamani asimalize. Kila anachosema kinakukaa akilini, utani wake unachekesha na maneno matamu yanakuingia. Mkifikia kwenye kugusana, kushikana mikono tu kunatoa raha ya kipekee. Ukimuwaza/fikiria/kumbuka tabasamu na utulivu moyoni vitawala.
Ukisikia kakuongelea sehemu basi raha tupu alimradi kakuongelea kwa uzuri.
Majina kama mtarajiwa..mpenzi..wife(y)..hubby..laaziz..sweetness(heart)...love(r)...baby(ez) n.k yanashtua moyo na kuongeza mapigo mpaka pale mtu anapokua mwenzi. Hapo u-hubby/wife(y)/u-sweetness(heart)/upenzi na ulaaziz vinaondoka. His/her jokes stops being funny...his/her voice becomes annoying...the coolest things about him/her becomes boring etc. Hayo yote ni matokeo ya ku-fallOUT of love!
So what can we do to fall back IN love with the same partners over and over again instead of changing them the way we do shoes and clothes?!
1. Get him/her to miss you...and you to miss him/her.
Hii itafanya vile vitu ambavyo unaona ni annoying vipungue/potee kwa muda na kuanza kukosa vile vizuri ambavyo umeacha kuvitambua (acknowledge) kwakua akili yako yote ipo kwenye kukosoa na kuona usivyopenda.
2. Let him/her be who he/she is.
Attempting to change your partner is ALMOST an impossible task. Unless THEY WANNA change ofcourse...most of the time you'll end up dissapointed and bored for not getting your way.
3. Be easy on them.
Hamna mkamilifu kati yetu...sema tu mapungufu yanatofautiana uzito/ukubwa. Wengine wana mapungufu makubwa makubwa..na wengine madogo. Kama umemchagua akiwa alivyo jaribu kuridhika nae na kumkubali bila kusahau KUMUONYESHA hayo ili nae ajue.
4. Talk to him/her about NOthing..SOMEthing and EVERYthing.
Kabla ya kuwa pamoja/ingia ndoani wengi hua wanawasiliana na kuongea vizuri sana.. ila baada ya kuwekana pale walipotakana hua wanakua kama hawana lakuongea, usitoe nafasi ya nyie kuwa one of those couple with nothing to talk about...waliotawaliwa na ukimya.
5. Take him/her NOwhere..SOMEwhere and EVERYwhere. Spending time together outside your home(s) is healthy...mnapata nafasi ya kuwa pamoja maeneo ambayo hata kununiana haipendezi na kuboana haiwezekani. Unaweza ukajikuta unamuona mwenzako kama ulivyomuona mwanzo wa mahusiano yenu hata kama ni kwa masaa mawili!!
6. Mpe nafasi....
Yeahhh kuboana, kukasirishana(kasirikiana), kuangushana (LETTING each other DOWN), kukoseana, kuteleza n.k kupo sana ila hamna haa ya kukuza mambo. Ikitokea usiwe una hukumu mara moja bila utetezi wala uelewa. Mpe mwenzako nafasi ya kuweka sawa alipokosea pia kujirudi... akishindwa ndio ukasirike.
7. Ongoza..
Baada ya mikwaruzano ya hapa na pale baadhi huonekana wana viburi na wasiojali either kwa kushindwa kuomba samahani au kuanzisha/endeleza maongezi baada ya kuomba(ombwa) samahani. Hata kama wewe ndio mkosewaji muonyeshe mwenzako kwamba pamoja na kwamba kakukosea, pengine hata hasira hazijaisha bado unataka/penda kuongea nae kwakuanzisha maongezi wewe. KWEPA KUNUNA/NUNIANA KWA MASAA..SIKU MPAKA WIKI.
7. Usiwe mlalamikaji sana.
Kulalamika mara moja moja kwa vitu vya msingi SAWA...kila siku HAPANA.Utamfanya mwenzako aone kwamba hakutoshelezi iwe KIFIKRA, KIHISIA au hata KIMWILI.
8.Kumbuka....
Wengi hua hodari kweli wakukumbuka yale mabaya hata nyakati za furaha, tofauti na yale mazuri nyakati mbaya na za karaha. Utasikia katikati ya maongezi mazuri tu mtu anamuuliza mwenzake "Unakumbuka juzi ulivyonifanya(fanyia) hivi au vile mpaka sijui nikalia/kasirika sana/lala njaa/kataa kupika??!" kiasi cha kufikia kuharibu mood ila sio "Unakumbuka juzi ulivyofanya/nifanya/fanyia hivi au vile nikafurahi sana mpaka ikawa hivi au vile" wakati wa mifarakano. Try the later...inasaidia sana kurudisha amani.
9. Be a team player...
Don't be about ME..ME..ME..ME..ME!!!! If you are all about ME...ME..ME..ME.. stay single and out of committed/exclussive/official relationships untill you are ready for WE!
10. Be MORE of a lover and LESS of a mother/father.
Your partner is a grown up man/woman...and YES he/she might need a little push/change of direction/attitude every now and then but NOT everyday.Sio mtu unamuendesha mtu kwanzia asubuhi mpaka jioni...mambo ya kazi/kipato mpaka muda/jinsi anavyolala.Mruhusu hata asahau kufunga dawa ya mswaki au kutundika taulo baada ya kuoga.
11. Shukuru...
Pale mwenzako anapokufanyia lolote zuri onyesha appreciation..hata kama unaona/jua kwamba unastahili.
12. Mjulishe/mkumbushe umuhimu wake kwako.
13......
MPENDE...
MHESHIMU..
MUAMINI...
MTHAMINI...
MJALI...nk
Hata pale anapofanya/kinapotokea kitu kinachokufanya utamani kutokufanya hivyo.
14. USIJARIBU na kama tayari ACHA kumlinganisha na wanaume/wanawake wengine unaowafahamu/kutana nao unless yeye unamuweka juu. Kama hao wengine unawaona bora sana utaishia kumuona wako si lolote...si chochote.
