The truth is that luck in love is no mere roll of the dice; it’s about making intentional choices that can shape your romantic destiny.
While many different factors come into play when it comes to love – things like compatibility, attraction, chemistry, and shared values, there are also certain behaviors that determine whether or not love is in the cards for you.
So if you’re tired of being in one bad relationship after another and feel ready to welcome love and happiness into your life, then it’s time to say goodbye to these 14 behaviors.
Let’s take a look:
1) Dishonesty
Nobody likes a liar.
Now, we can’t completely avoid dishonest people, we’re bound to run into them from time to time.
But what we can do is choose to surround ourselves with honest people – to make sure that those closest to us keep it real – and that includes the people we date.
Honesty is crucial in any healthy relationship and it’s especially important in a romantic relationship.
If you’ve lied and cheated and pretended to be someone you’re not, it’s no wonder you’ve been unlucky in love.
At the core of every healthy and loving relationship is trust, so if you want to change things around, start by being open and telling the truth, no matter how hard it may be at times.
2) Playing games
- Games in a relationship aren’t cute.
- Games in a relationship aren’t fun.
- Games in a relationship aren’t healthy.
I’m talking about mind games like manipulation and gaslighting. I’m talking about trying to make your partner jealous.
You’re a grown-up so start acting like one.
If you really like someone and want to give your relationship a real chance, then you need to be open and honest about what you want instead of messing with the other person’s head.
Got it?
3) Holding onto grudges
A common problem among people who have trouble in the love department is the fact that they’re unable to let go of past grievances.
They’ve been hurt in past relationships and are still holding on to the anger and hurt.
But do you know what that does?
It jeopardizes their chances of finding love.
Their inability to forgive means they’re unable to move on.
In other words, if you’re holding onto a grudge, the person who gets hurt the most is yourself because your negative feelings are like poison that can seep into your current and future relationships!
4) Ignoring red flags
How many times do you have to be hurt before you start paying attention to red flags?
How many times will you let yourself be let on and deceived before you stop to read the signs?
I’m asking because I see a lot of people get so carried away with romance and the promise of love that they refuse to see clear warning signs or pay attention to what their gut is telling them.
If you really want to find love, start by asking yourself, “Does this feel right?”
Be honest with yourself.
5) Lack of boundaries
It’s time you learned to respect other people’s boundaries.
Now, you might be asking yourself, “What’s the big deal about boundaries? What are they anyway?”
Let me tell you about boundaries.
Boundaries are like these invisible lines that are there to protect people.
They define what a person considers acceptable behavior from others – i.e. how they want to be treated. They create a barrier that safeguards a person from harm, mistreatment, and different types of exploitation.
Cross a person’s boundaries and you might make them feel uncomfortable, disrespected, and even unsafe.
That’s why if you want to be luckier in love, it’s super important to set and respect personal boundaries in a relationship.
6) Being overly critical
Constant criticism of any kind can wear down a relationship.
Whether you’re criticizing your partner, your relationship, or even yourself – it’s bound to set the stage for disaster.
I’m not saying that you should never speak up when something isn’t right, but try not to be judgemental. Instead, try to be constructive in your communication.
Also, try not to overdo it or you risk the other person losing their patience and walking out on you.
It could help if instead of thinking about everything that’s wrong you think of everything that is right.
For example, every time you catch yourself thinking, “Oh no, he’s messed up again!” think, “Well, he may be a bit of a clutz but at least he’s trying his best.”
Keep doing that until you reprogramme your brain to be less critical, trust me, it works (seriously, look into neuroplasticity).
7) Being overly controlling
Who was it that said, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it was never meant to be”?
In order for a relationship to work out and for love to grow, you need to trust your partner.
You also need to give them space to breathe and be themselves.
Being too controlling can make the other person feel smothered and nothing puts an end to a relationship quicker than that. Trust me, I’ve seen it many times.
Just relax and try to go with the flow.
8) Comparing your partner to others
Why would you keep comparing the person you’re dating to your former lovers?
It’s ridiculous because:
- A: It didn’t work out with those people so they’re not much to live up to
- B: Everyone is unique. Maybe your ex was sexier but the person you’re with now makes you laugh and really gets you.
9) Failure to compromise
Great, but that means you can’t always have things your way.
I’m serious.
Part of being in a grown-up relationship is being willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both you and your partner.
Stubbornness is sure to lead to conflict and we all know where that leads
10) Rushing into physical intimacy
I’m not saying wait forever to “do it” but it’s a good idea to get to know the other person first and build an emotional connection with them.
You also wanna make sure you’re on the same page. For example, you may be looking for love while they’re looking for a one-night stand.
Rushing into sex could make them think you’re not looking for anything serious and then you’ll wake up alone and disappointed once again…
Just slow down a little bit, okay?
11) Ignoring your partner’s needs
Oh, you have needs?
Well NEWS FLASH: So does your partner.
If you want to be luckier in love you need to be less selfish and more attentive to your partner’s emotional and physical needs.
Neglecting their needs will lead to dissatisfaction and eventually, they’re going to look elsewhere to get them met.
12) Neglecting self-love
I mean, how can you expect someone else to love you if you can’t love yourself?
If you’re wondering, “What do they see in me?” you’re not projecting a very positive energy, are you?
You see, loving yourself is kind of like a foundation for loving someone else.
So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Learn to appreciate your positive attributes and work on your faults.
And remember to be as compassionate and forgiving with yourself as you would with a friend you care about.
13) Ignoring the importance of shared goals and values
Yes, it’s true that opposites attract and yes, people who are different can live happily ever after.
But it’s not always easy and it takes work and sometimes sacrifice.
For example, if you’re in love with someone who wants children and you don’t, what are you gonna do? See what I mean?
Don’t ignore the importance of having some shared values and goals for a lasting relationship.
14) Not learning from past relationships
If you make a mistake once, forgive yourself, after all, we all make mistakes.
But if you keep on making the same mistake over and over again when it comes to your relationships, it means you’ve not taken the time to reflect on what went wrong and learn from your mistakes.
If you want a chance at being happy in love, then you have to do the work: identify any patterns in your behavior.
Take a long hard look at your mistakes and think about how you could make better choices in the future.
Final thoughts
Look, finding love isn’t always easy, and maintaining it is an ongoing journey.
Sometimes, it means making a real effort and doing some self-improvement.
The good news is that by learning to say goodbye to the negative behaviors mentioned in this article, you’re sure to increase your chances of finding love and building a happy and lasting partnership.
Good luck!
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