Another dilemma

jathurwa

jathurwa

JF-Expert Member
Dec 13, 2019
214
259
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to college. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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jathurwa said:
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to university. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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Ukikuwa itakuwa too late. Endelea kukuwa.
 
Appreciating you for the language used,at least artistically,grammatically and semantically convincing to read.(english Medium is at work-bravo)
Secondly,Nothing jst happen...wear adulthood as far as ur a men,(University Student...2year...?come on.....!)sometimes things to fall into its places should be fallen a part first..how can you decide to think and put into actions wthout thinkg its consequences?....to third Newton Law of motion....to every action there is equal and opposite reaction..your dillema shows as if ur crying....if what could be a girl ?
Pray Hard,Study hard fall into responsibility,you will be late and remain regretfully if you will till thinking threats from both parents...(my perception )
 
jathurwa said:
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to college. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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Click to expand...
kawaida 2 baba,ukitoa alama itabak milele kwny kuta nne za moyo wako pia uxpotoa itafika siku utajipongeza sana,lwa uamuz wa busara
 
Unahitaji ushauri na unaandika kingereza
Maana yake nini unatuonesha kwamba unakijua sana au nini utoto

Katika watu mia mbili ambao wangesoma bandiko lako
Mia wangekushauri lakini kwa lugha hii watasoma kumi na watano watakushauri huwenda usipate ushauri wa kutosha
Haikuwa na maana kutumia hii lugha


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jathurwa said:
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to college. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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From what I can read, I see a wasted case and a totally confused element in you.

I would simply advise you to take your time to sober up. You don’t want her to ged rid of the pregnancy yet you are also afraid of disappointing your parents?!

You claim the woman in question has not been cooperative enough especially towards having sex yet you managed to get get pregnant?

It would be mature to let the woman decide what she does with the pregnancy, this is due to the fact that you don’t seem to have a clear decision and position for the same.
 
From now on call that toxic relationship off, and the worst won't bother you, since she doesn't love you any longer. Let the past alone, don't drag it into a present situation.
 
jathurwa said:
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to college. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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Mkuu kifupi tu Acheni umalaya pia Muwe mnaangalia madem huyo dem anaonekana alikua anakulia chips2 maku huyo
 
nduza said:
Unahitaji ushauri na unaandika kingereza
Maana yake nini unatuonesha kwamba unakijua sana au nini utoto

Katika watu mia mbili ambao wangesoma bandiko lako
Mia wangekushauri lakini kwa lugha hii watasoma kumi na watano watakushauri huwenda usipate ushauri wa kutosha
Haikuwa na maana kutumia hii lugha


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Ahhh kaka mbona lugha rahisi tu hiyo. Ila natumai umeelewa tia neno kaka, mdogo wako nahitaji ushauri.

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nduza said:
Unahitaji ushauri na unaandika kingereza
Maana yake nini unatuonesha kwamba unakijua sana au nini utoto

Katika watu mia mbili ambao wangesoma bandiko lako
Mia wangekushauri lakini kwa lugha hii watasoma kumi na watano watakushauri huwenda usipate ushauri wa kutosha
Haikuwa na maana kutumia hii lugha


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Ndugu kuwa mpole tu....hiyo lugha ya kingereza ni kama kimakonde haiusiani chochote na kusoma sana
 
jathurwa said:
I greet you all my learned friends. I call you learned because I believe you have quite gained lots of experience in various challenges of life. Its been quite a while ever since I posted in this forum.
Cut to the chase, I'm a med student in a renowned university in the country. Lately I got into a relationship with a fellow student in another university.
Our relationship was not a serious one at the beginning and until now I can't define it well . I say this because our relationship is built on mutual benefits. In spite of her knowing that I'm a student, she is really into the habit of asking for fiscal support of which I offer as much as I can.
I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex. As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues.
The issue at hand is this. She is pregnant!! I'm not troubled with her being pregnant. The problem is that she is not ready to take responsibility so she opts for abortion! She says she cannot take care of the pregnancy because her elder sister got pregnant just in the first year at university. Her parents did not take the matter positively but later the matter calmed down and she delivered and later went to college. Currently she has her diploma in pharmacy though not working.
Personally I'm not comfortable with the idea of abortion. I have tried to make her change her decision but to no avail. My problem is that I had a similar problem back at school and my parents were furious but later calmed. My first son was born in that incident. I sincerely don't want another kid out of wedlock.
So I'm caught up on how I will manage to raise another kid yet I'm currently jobless and in my second year at the University. I'm at the same time afraid of disappointing my parents if they get to hear the news. Lastly, what if something bad happens during the abortion process. If you have passed through this please share with me how you solved it.
NB; I'm 23 years old, please positive energy is highly appreciated though negative energy I won't mind receiving it too.



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Do you think she is a wife material?

"I understand that lovers are supposed to support each other but I don't really feel alright. She seeks for my attention when in problems of money and she rarely miss me for casual talk or rarely demands for sex"

YOU ARE NOT needed; and this is a very bad sign; quit, go silence

"As far as I can recall I'm the one who forces to see each other for such issues"

This statement leave me without a comment; why would you keep up with such a person? That pregnancy is jot yours by 88%
 
nduza said:
Unamaanisha kwa Tanzania kuandika kingereza ni sawa tu na kuandika kiswahili kwamba kila mtu ataelewa?

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Asante kaka ila naona kama husaidii bali unanilaumu kwa uzembe ambao sihusiki nao. Yeyote anaelewa kilichoandikwa anatoa tu ushaur kaka haina haja ya kukomalia lugha. Hata hivyo asante kwa kunikumbusha wakati mwingine nitakumbuka hilo ulilosema.

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