Roger Sterling
JF-Expert Member
- May 10, 2015
- 13,010
- 23,656
Though no in-depth research has been conducted to figure out just how often women put on a little white lie performance underneath the sheets, a small survey found that 80 percent of women have faked it at some point, and 25 percent fake it almost every time they get down. Sex therapist Vanessa Marin says its more than likely, almost that every woman has faked it, and shed bet that more orgasms are faked than are real.
Depressing, right? All of that hard work and the climax is scripted?
Before you start taking whiskey shots to forget these hard facts, see if your gal is putting on a show by looking out for these warning signs. And better yet figure out how to fix it!
Sign #1: She comes almost as fast you as you do
Hate to break it to you, but while you can jackhammer your way to a pretty killer orgasm, women take more time. And not just in how long it takes them to leave the house compared to you. Marin says that, when it comes to sex, it will take most women at least 20 minutes to reach the grand finale. The key for you to remember is to be patient and realize that the time it takes to get her there will really be the payoff for both of you. She might fake because shes worried about taking too long, Marin says. Instead, make her feel comfortable by going at her speed and let her direct you.
Sign #2: It comes out of nowhere
If your lady goes from barely sweating, barely aroused and barely seemingly-turned on to suddenly orgasming, you have the right to raise an eyebrow. She could have had a spontaneous orgasm, but its unlikely, Marin says. Instead, she might just be trying to get the deed over with, especially if you just told her that youre close to finishing. Let her know that youre more invested in figuring out what brings her pleasure than you are on trying to make her orgasm, Marin says. Help her feel less goal-oriented about orgasm, and more focused on pleasure.
Sign #3: You dont feel her clench
Likely, when youve been touching her or going down on her, at some point, before she finishes, youve felt her tighten around you. Next time youre having sex and shes finishing, try your best to focus and see if you detect the clench. Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a licensed marriage and sex therapist, says that when a woman is truly orgasming, she cant control how her vaginal muscles contract. If shes not getting tighter around you, shes probably not having an orgasm.
Sign #4: Shes very, very vocal
Sure, right before you orgasm, its normal to get a little loud. Youre panting heavier, youre sweating, youre letting out sounds that you dont really use other than when youre having sex. But if your girl is screaming commands at you or saying yes! more than shes actually focusing on the feeling, she might be eying an Oscar instead of an orgasm, Dr. Kat says. It could be, too, that shes never had an orgasm, so shes trying to recreate what shes seen or heard. Let her know how much you care about her and value her pleasure and introduce sex toys into your sex life. Products like penis rings with clitoral stimulators that provide both of you pleasure at the same time while targeting her clitoris in positions that she wouldnt normally get to enjoy direct stimulation, Dr. Kat says.
Sign #5: She doesnt masturbate
You might not know if she actively explores self-pleasure or not, but its worth a discussion. Women usually discover their own pleasure and pressure points by doing the work by themselves. Dr. Kat and Marin suggest that to really find that thing that gets her going, she needs to show you. And you need to be patient and sensitive about it. She may have self-esteem issues related to the fact that she isnt orgasming every time. Approaching her about what stimulation works for during sex may be the best bet for creating more orgasms on a regular basis, Dr. Kat says. Ask her to show you what exactly gets her off as you work your way into foreplay. Everyone is responsible for their own orgasms. Therefore, she needs to show you what works for her. Buying her a vibrator may help give her permission to pursue her own pleasure more. Realize, too, that there are other reasons to have sex. The act itself creates more physical and emotional closeness, and may help resolve conflict, process emotions and relieve stress.
SOURCE: CAPITAL LIFESTYLE
